With Friends Like That (Book 11) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: Who needs enemies?

From the Back of the Book: Only a miracle will save Canby Hall.  Shelley, Faith and Dana are stunned when they hear that their school will be shut down unless money is raised by the end of the semester.  But what can the girls do?  Time is running out...Each of the girls comes up with a plan, but will any of them work?  When Dana meets the young Chris Canby, son of the current owner, she thinks he's the answer.  But he seems like a carbon copy of his father.  Will he be a friend or an enemy - or a new romance?  The girls had better think fast if they're going to save the school.

This book was published in 1985 and I've never read it before. The ghostie for this book is Judith Sachs who wrote the super creepy The Big Crush where guidance counselor Michael behaved all kinds of inappropriately with his students. I hate that book so I'm not going into this one with high hopes.

The cover is okay. All three girls get equal billing and they're the same models from the last cover so they look consistent. Shelley is pouting directly at us which is a little disturbing but otherwise there's nothing to really bitch about here.  I'll admit that I don't really understand what the title has to do with the story but maybe it will become clear as I read.  (((Note from Future Me: It did not.  This title still makes no sense.)))

Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley (small-town farm girl). For now, Dana is dating the magically delicious Randy, Faith is seeing wannabe-cop Johnny and Shelley is dating Tom from Greenleaf High while on a break from her one-true-love Paul. In the last book, PA decided to let a film company shoot part of a movie on campus and everyone auditioned. Dana got a part in order to cheat on Randy with a production assistant named Peter and Shelley ended up an extra due to some horrible advice from Pamela. Faith ran around taking horrible, unauthorized pictures of the cast and delighting in how awful she was making everyone look. Shelley met star Troy who fed her a huge line of BS about putting her in a movie but it all ended up being just smoke up Shelley's ass. Peter ended up throwing Dana over for Pamela in the hopes that her mother could further his career and then the book mercifully ended.

Missing, Presumed Dead: Gale.  There wasn't a single mention of Shelley's extra pounds in this book.

Risen From the Tulip Bed: Mary Beth, Ginny and Ellie are all back in action. I guess everyone came topside for this crises.

We begin with Faith which is kind of a medium way to begin. At least it's not Shelley. She's struggling to carry a little table up to room 407 when Alison (housemother extraordinaire) stops her and asks her if she can pass out some fliers. Apparently PA (head bitch in charge) is holding yet another special assembly tomorrow. Faith eventually makes it up to her room with the little marble table and ghostie takes this opportunity to give us a quick review.  Dana is a sociopath, Shelley has histrionic personality disorder and Faith is a narcissist, blah, blah, yada, yada.  You know all this already.

Suddenly it's the next morning and the girls are all grumbling about being forced to get up early. PA starts the assembly with a quick history lesson about how Horace Canby allowed a school to be built on his land in memory of his daughter Julia who died young of a fever. Unfortunately he didn't contain wording in the will that would let the school exist on the land “in perpetuity” and the new heir Owen feels that a school isn't the best horse in his financial stable. There is talk that the school will be permanently closed at the end of the semester. Panic ensues because the girls of 407 know the magic only exists on campus and they will go back to being normal teenagers and not revered goddesses as soon as they get home.

#allhailroom407

Dana immediately says they should call a meeting in Baker house because she just knows they'll be able to solve the problem themselves. I'd roll my eyes but it's useless. That's exactly what's going to happen because we all know these girls are geniuses and possess the ability to make all adults defer to them in all things.

Nearly all of Baker house gathers in the lounge and the 407 girls take charge of the meeting. No one questions them about it because they all know the girls of 407 are the only ones who truly matter in this hellhole. Alison comes up with the only decent idea in this entire meeting – going to talk to Owen – but she's instantly shot down by the girls. They can't do this reasonable thing! They need some kind of hare-brained scheme!!! That's just how things work around here. #seriouslyAlison?  #areyounew?

Team 407 skips classes to go to the library to plan. They decide they need to get an endowment from someone. If they get one it will show Owen that the school can be financially beneficial to him (or at least not a financial burden). They come up with a figure of 1.5 million dollars and a plan to ask everyone's parents and people in the town for donations. High on their list is Pamela's mother Yvonne.

Dana goes for a jog after classes in the hopes of coming up with another stellar idea in case they have trouble raising 1.5 million fucking dollars. She's deep in thought and not paying attention to where she's going and ends up colliding with a slightly older (senior year) redheaded boy. He asks her if she's a Canby girl and then matter-of-factly tells her that her school will be closing soon. Dana gets hella pissed as she's wont to do and demands to know who he is. He introduces himself as Chris Canby, Owen's son.

Dana immediately regrets being her usual bitch self. She needs Chris on her side after all. She tries to pour some sugar on him instead, flattering him and then waxing poetic about the legions of girls who have passed through Canby's “hallowed portals” (direct quote, folks) and how the area is drenched in historical importance. It's VERY VERY stupid. Chris isn't moved. He likes money and getting rid of Canby will give his family plenty of it. There's some kind of corporation coming to look at the campus in a few days to see if they want to build there. Ghostie named it Data-Tech because she couldn't be arsed to come up with anything better.

Dana switches tactics and asks Chris if he ever just wants to go to a ball game like a normal teenager rather than worrying about his stocks and portfolio. He says they have box seats but that doesn't impress her. She wants him to try a “normal” day with her and he says he will if she tries out a day of privilege with him. This is all so very stupid. I feel my brain dying. Dana goes back to campus and tells her friends that she's going to try to use her feminine wiles to convince Chris to convince Owen to change his mind. #Godhelpusall

It's another day I think and Shelley has a date with Tom. He's taking her to Pizza Pete's in the hopes of ambushing someone named Mr Sampton. He's one of the oldest men in town and somehow Tom thinks he might be able to help. The guy is practically a hermit but he always goes to Pizza Pete's on Tuesday to get the senior discount or something. Tom tells her that she can move in with his family and finish school at Greenleaf High if Canby closes but she isn't sure that's the answer.

Shelley tells him they figured out the approximate tuition revenue for Canby and Tom tells her that it's nowhere near what it costs to run a school. When she asks what he means he says it costs a lot more than that to run a private school and he knows this “because of his sister's college”. What the fuck does that even mean? Tom produces a list of about ten people who might be persuaded to make a donation to save Canby. Bankers and such. Tom doesn't have much hope about getting enough money to keep Canby open but Shelley refuses to let it get her down.

They approach Mr Sampton (gonna call him Sam from now on) to tell him that Owen is going to sell Canby to Data-Tech and ask him if he can help suggest some kind of solution to them. Because he's old I guess? None of this makes any sense at all. He takes some notes down because of course he's interested in the problem of these random teenagers that he's never met before in his life. He says he doesn't like the idea of a corporation being built in their small town but doesn't really offer anything else before dismissing Tom and Shelley.

They leave Pizza Pete's and go to the first name on Tom's list which happens to be a doctor. They have to wait 45 minutes in the lobby for him to have a free moment. Shelley tells him all about the school potentially shutting down and he whips out his checkbook and writes her a check for $100 which just seems like a really stupid thing to do. He has no idea if she's telling him the truth or not. I mean, she is, but he has no way to know that and could have just given $100 to a scammer. It might all be for nothing anyway because Shelley is in no way capable of keeping track of this check. It's as good as gone.

Faith, meanwhile, decides to try her luck with Pamela. I'm not sure why. She and Pamela outright hate each other. Shelley would have been a better choice for this assignment.....or Casey. Casey and Pamela are sometimes friendly to each other at least.  Faith tries to ease into things by pretending she and Pamela have something in common to casually talk about but Pamela is way too smart for that ish. Faith tells her they need an endowment to save the school and Pamela asks her why they should bother. Faith lists out things like dances and apple butter from their own orchard and maple syrup from their own trees but none of this impresses Pamela much. Finally Faith changes tactics and reminds Pamela how she was kicked out of a bunch of private schools before Canby and she might end up in a public school after this. This scares Pammy enough that she agrees to talk to her mom about donating money.

Faith is so proud of herself. We get this......

“She couldn't wait to call Johnny now! He was always going on about what a great mind she had, and she usually shrugged in embarrassment when he talked about her super brainpower, but right now she had to agree with him.”

Faith is feeling so up herself that she isn't even paying attention to where she's walking and she barrels right into Michael-the-guidance-counselor who is carrying a big brass lamp and thus didn't see her coming. He asks her what she's so chipper about and she tells him that they are well on their way to raising the million dollars Canby needs to run for a year. (Which is a total lie since Yvonne Young hasn't agreed to donate anything yet. #countingchickensbeforetheyhatch) He gives her a sympathetic look and tells her it costs three million dollars a year to run Canby. Faith suddenly feels incredibly stupid for celebrating too early.

Faith goes back to the room to break the news. Casey rocks up with a possible solution. She's made a list of Fortune 500 companies that regularly give grants to companies struggling to stay afloat. She's planning to contact them to see if one of them might give Canby a grant. It's a better idea than fundraising but that doesn't surprise me. Casey has always been more practical than the others.

Alison comes by to tell them that the letters to the parents will go out after PA's meeting with Owen on Saturday. The 407 girls make plans to be at the meeting. Surely Owen will recognize their magicalness and change his mind. No one says no to 407!!!  #allhailroom407

Friday Chris calls to ask Dana to the movies the next afternoon. She can't go because of the meeting so she turns him down. He tells her he's been working on a business proposal for one of his classes to get the businesses in Greenleaf to offer summer internships to students in the area. (Possible future plot? Probably not because continuity has never been strong in this series. #fuckcontinuity) He mentions that they would try to open it for Canby girls too but they probably won't be around after June. Dana gets pissed, yells at him and hangs up the phone. Way to go, Dana. That's the way to get him to change his mind.

On Saturday several girls gather outside PA's house where the meeting is scheduled to happen. They tell PA that they are the “Save Canby Hall Committee” and they ask to speak to Owen. For some reason she lets them. I imagine poor PA is feeling pretty desperate at this point. They file in and immediately start presenting their case. Which basically comes down to they like the school and don't want it to close. They beg him to give them time to raise the money and he seems sympathetic but nothing they say changes anything.

Time passes. Suddenly it's Friday again and Shelley and Tom are out riding around on his motorcycle when they come across Sam broken down on the side of the road. Tom takes a look under the hood while Shelley chats with the old man. He asks her how the fundraising is going and she tells him they've managed to collect $5000 but it doesn't matter because the deal is pretty much already done. He's still upset about the idea of a big corporation being in town but doesn't really offer any solution other than to say that Owen Canby has always been a jackass. Tom gets the car going enough that Sam is able to make it into town to the repair shop.

Saturday arrives and Yvonne visits campus. Faith hits her up with the sob story and an appeal for money and Yvonne offers to help. She even says she'll get some of her Hollywood friends involved. Faith is super excited and again feels like she just solved the problem. Then Yvonne says she'll handle everything when she returns. Turns out she's going to be on location in Europe for at least three months and doesn't plan to do anything until she gets back. Faith is crushed again.

I seriously have NO idea why this chapter was even in the fucking book. Shelley talked to Sam and Faith talked to Yvonne but NOTHING actually happened. Ghostie is padding her page count again.

Now it's Saturday night. Shelley and Faith both have dates so they take off leaving Dana alone. Apparently Randy is in Kentucky at some horse auction for the winter. I'm not sure what kind of auction takes an entire winter but whatevs. At least he's out of Dana's clutches for awhile. She's down in the lounge reading when Chris calls again. He says his father just called to ask him to Sunday brunch and he wants Dana to come along with him. Dana isn't super psyched to see Chris again but she can't pass up an opportunity to talk to Owen.

She's stunned when she actually gets to their house. It's a complete mansion and she's afraid to even walk on the pristine floors. A butler opens the door and a maid takes her parka. Chris brings her into the drawing room to meet his mother. Mrs Canby refers to her as Chris's “little friend” which pisses Dana off because she's tall and practically a woman!! #thisisridiculous #ghostieisn'teventryinghere

Owen isn't super happy to see Dana given that the last time he met with her she was a complete bitch. Get used to it Owen. It's a personality trait, not a mood. They go to breakfast and Dana is socially awkward, not knowing how to eat the kippered herring and putting things on the wrong plate and using the wrong silverware. Chris tries to show her by example what she should be doing and she's a little grateful for that at least.

Owen brings up the deal which is just an asinine thing to do but Dana uses the opportunity to make a suggestion. Maybe they can find an old building that could be converted into a dormitory for Canby students. Canby teachers could use empty Oakley classrooms to hold classes and all would be well. Does Oakley just have a bank of unused classrooms? That seems odd. And keep in mind that Dana doesn't actually know of any suitable properties nor has she cleared any part of this plan with PA or Oakley. She's just sure it's a solution though, Owen finds it as ridiculous as I do but Chris tries to help by mentioning an old mill that might work. You know....the one that Shelley was held in after she was kidnapped in book two. #wow #continuityforonce

Owen changes the subject and the rest of the meal passes awkwardly. On the drive home, Chris apologizes. He says that he still thinks the sale of the land is good business but he's starting to realize that Canby is a community asset (HOW???) and that the girls deserve to get an education. He's still hoping some kind of solution can be found. When they get back to the dorms, he and Dana make out for awhile and here we go again.

Poor Randy.

#Danacandie

Monday comes along with an announcement that PA is going to be gone all week. Michael and Alison are left in charge which pisses Alison off for some reason. She and Michael have been arguing a lot because she thinks the girls need to start submitting applications to other schools and Michael thinks they should hang onto Canby until their last breaths. This is all very dumb, y'all. This whole book idea is dumb.

Owen's company (or maybe Data-Tech's company???) is coming on the following Saturday to do an inventory and Casey comes up with some amazing plan that ghostie spends half a chapter talking about without telling us what it actually is. All I know is that every girl in school will have to participate for it to work, it involves some kind of mass flier and it will give them a public forum. I'm sure it's the most brilliant plan that was ever planned by planners before in the history of the world. \\sarcasm font//

So apparently the plan is to stage a sit-in and block the buildings so the men can't get in to do inventory. They get chains from the drama department, bike locks and belts because........reasons. I guess they are locking or belting themselves to each other to make them more difficult to move. #sigh At the last moment they tell Alison and she immediately begins looking for PA's number.

The girls have posters that say “A School Is A School!” and “Give Canby Back To The Students!” Faith made a special one with a picture of mist rising out of the fountain like a ghost that says something about Horace Canby being pissed at the sale. Seriously?? A school is a school??? That's the best these girls can come up with? I'm not so sure they should be trying to save Canby. They're clearly not getting a stellar education here.

Michael agrees to alert the media so they get the exposure they want but he warns Dana that sit-ins rarely work. She's not dissuaded at all. Owen arrives with the Data-Tech representatives and he's pretty pissed to find the building blocked by girls who have literally belted themselves together. #sigh He tries to reason and then he tries to bully but nothing gets them to budge. The newspaper shows up and interviews everyone. Nothing new is said or learned. Owen eventually calls the sheriff and the 407 girls along with Casey are put into a squad car.

In the end, about 40 girls are arrested. I'm not sure how they decided who to arrest and who to leave. There are only two jail cells in the jail and the sheriff isn't very keen on actually locking them up so they're basically just hanging around the office. Owen signs a complaint against them for trespassing or something and the sheriff tells them that they'll have to be bailed out before they can leave. They're all pretty much freaking out at the idea that their parents are going to find out they were arrested.

Sam sees the news coverage and arrives at the Sheriff's office to bail them out. The Sheriff says bail totals $1000 for all of them which means $100 dollars must be paid. Sam goes through all his pockets and his shoes and manages to get $100 dollars out in rumpled bills and piles of coins. Before the transaction can be complete, however, PA arrives. She pays for the bail herself, tells the girls how very disappointed she is in all of them and then shepherds everyone outside to a waiting bus.

Dana, Faith, Shelley, Casey, Ellie, Cheryl, Ginny and someone named Joan are summoned to PA's house being the ringleaders of the grand plan and all. In private she hugs them and tells them how proud she is of all of them and how she will remember them fondly. She says she has to take a hard line in public, though, for the good of the school. They are astounded but grateful they aren't in extra trouble.

The whole campus is “docked” for a month meaning they can't leave campus or something and all is settled.

The media coverage is very anti-Owen/Data-Tech and pro-Canby. Chris manages to convince his dad to drop the charges against the Canby girls. None of them will have an actual police record from their protest. Dana, of course, finds it all very dreamy.

A day or so later, PA calls another early morning assembly. She announces that she's handed in her resignation. She's not leaving and she's staying on as leader of the school but she'll no longer be on the payroll because she can't take money from the people who are closing her beloved school. She says it will make a statement to the board that she doesn't believe in what they're doing.  Except.....the board isn't closing Canby down.  Owen is.  This makes no sense.

As she's talking, her secretary comes in and says she has an important note and a pile of shoe boxes. In the note is a message saying that “this” should do them for the first year. The shoe boxes are stuffed full of money (3 million dollars worth).

Owen arrives later that day to announce the Data-Tech deal fell through. They were spooked by all the adverse publicity and decided to look for another property to buy. PA lets him know they have an endowment for the first year anyway and he laughs when he sees it arrived in old shoe boxes. He says something about “that old nut” and leaves.

It turns out that Sam's dad made it big in the early 1900's mining gold in Alaska. Right before the stock market crash, he withdrew all his money and put it into shoe boxes and then bricked it up in the barn. There was 8 million dollars at that time. When his father died, he and his brother split it and Sam bricked his 4 million back up. Even after giving Canby 3 million of it, he still has a million left to last him the rest of his life and he's okay with that considering he's never ever spent any of it anyway.

The book ends with ghostie proclaiming that no matter what happens, no one can take Canby from their hearts and minds. #gag

Not only was this book stupid but there was no #Bplot.  We always have one of those.

The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: Um.....was it just me or was no one super annoying in this book?  I can't give it to everyone.  I think I'll give it to Joan.  I have no idea who the fuck she is or where the fuck she came from but she definitely didn't annoy me.

The Bitch of Baker House Award:  I have no idea who to hand this to either.  Everyone was pretty okay.  I guess I'll hand to to Dana for cheating on Randy AGAIN!!!

Coming Up Next: The girls are getting ready to vacation in Ft Lauderdale but a new girl throws a spanner in the works.

Make Me a Star (Book 10) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: Hollywood comes to Canby Hall.

From the Back of the Book: Lights! Camera! Action!  Shelley, Dana and Faith are sure that winter at Canby Hall is going to be the pits - until a film crew arrives to shoot a movie right on campus.  For Shelley this could be a dream come true.  For Dana it will mean unexpected romance with a young production assistant.  For Faith it's a chance to shoot some film of her own.  But what begins as fun soon pits the girls against one another in the competition surrounding the movie.  Will they ever be best friends again?  

This book was published in 1985 and I don't think I read it before. If I did, I don't remember anything about it.  (((Note from Future Me: I did read it.  Literally the only thing I remembered was the description of one of Dana's outfits.)))  The ghostie for this one is Mary Lou Kennedy which is a new name in the series. I did a search for her and it seems like she did some ghosting for the Babysitter's Club books as well which makes sense. Those were definitely written for a younger audience so we'll see how this goes.

If this cover looks familiar to you, it's because it was the back cover of Something Old, Something New in the new girl series. I think these are my favorite three models as far as the covers go but that's about the only good thing I have to say about it. Why is the hairspray called “Raw”? That's a terrible name for hairspray.

Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley (small-town farm girl). For now, Dana is dating the magically delicious Randy, Faith is seeing wannabe-cop Johnny and Shelley is dating Tom from Greenleaf High while on a break from her one-true-love Paul. In the last book, Dana asks Shelley to go to a movie with Randy as a favor so she can do some homework which kicks off the complete and total assassination of Randy's character (#ghostieassassin #saveRandy). Randy and Shelley start to sneak around and date. Dana and Tom eventually find out. Dana forgives them because she doesn't really give two fucks about Randy anyway (#Danacandie) but Tom is pretty pissed at Shelley. The Bplot had Casey, Ellie, Mary Beth and Pamela wrecking a grocery store with teenage shenanigans and then being rude and refusing to apologize to staff. A massive boycott against Canby students was waged by every merchant in town and the entire campus ended up being restricted to grounds until apologizes were made. Ellie and Mary Beth apologized immediate, Casey did eventually and Pamela only succumbed after the entire student body gave her the silent treatment.

Missing, Presumed Dead:  As expected, Mary Beth and Ellie used up their usefulness in the last book's Bplot and were not mentioned once in this book.  May they rest peacefully under the tulips.  Also missing, yet again, was Gale.  Shelley's extra 5-15 pounds wasn't mentioned once and, in fact, Faith pointed out how slim Shelley is now.

Risen From the Tulip Bed: No one was buried last book so there are no zombies wandering about this time around.

Kennedy starts out by reviewing the girls for us. Dana likes to steal souls and ruin lives but she does it while wearing a red bandanna and a chunky silver belt so at least she's “fashionable”.....Faith likes to sit on a pedestal and pass judgment on everyone but it's okay because she's “urban”......Shelley is a complete lump of overdone drama but they find her endearing because she's “folksy”. #yawn There's pages and pages about them talking about snow but I can't be arsed to care.

Every Wednesday morning before class there's a school-wide assembly. I can hear your thoughts: What assembly? We're ten books in and they've never mentioned this weekly assembly before!! I know this is hard to believe, y'all but a ghostie just completely invented something and tried to make it canon just to fit her needs for the story. #shock! #fuck continuity

PA (head bitch in charge) makes the announcement that a movie company has asked permission to shoot some scenes on Canby's campus. She hasn't granted permission yet because she's still considering what a disruption like that might mean to the school but she warns them that they might see some “scouts” around the next few days. Shelley loses her fucking mind at this point and becomes even more annoying that usual which is 😱ASTRONOMICAL😱. She can't shut up about the possibility of a movie being shot on campus.

They all go to the Tutti Frutti after class and Shelley is going on and on while Dana eats something so disgusting I'm afraid to actually blog it (a marshmallow, lemon and walnut sundae). Dana makes the mistake of telling her that Maggie's friend was discovered at an earring counter in Bloomingdales while #keepingoneeyeonMaggieatALLtimes. Shelley instantly pushes her banana split away and declares that she's on a diet and must dash home to get her beauty sleep because she's on the verge of being “discovered” and becoming a big star.

#gag

No, that wasn't a Gale sighting.  Gale was never mentioned.  I maintain that she is under the tulips again.  Fight me.

Two days later an official announcement is made. A movie will be shot on campus but students are to go about their lives as if nothing unusual is happening. I'm sure that will work out fine. It turns out the movie is about a ghost who haunts a girls' boarding school and Pamela's mom Yvonne has a small part in it. I don't know why it's a small part if she's such a big star but maybe it's a Drew Barrymore in Scream kind of thing. They will be casting a few extras and small parts from the student body but Alison (headmother extraordinaire) emphasizes that their studies must come first and they can't skip school to participate in any way. I'm sure that will all work out fine.

Everyone at Canby catches “movie fever” (hopefully less destructive than the cheater version they usually get) and since the girls from 407 know EVERYTHING, they are constantly badgered for details. Randy's dad is approached about letting them film on his land but he turns them down, not wanting all the people and equipment to spook the horses. Dana is amazed that Randy's family doesn't want the notoriety and fame and it leads to her thinking all over again that they are very different people and she doesn't understand them at all. Faith, meanwhile, is desperately hoping to take some amazing pictures of the behind-the-scenes stuff but she's unsure if the film company will allow it.

The days pass and Dana pretends that she doesn't care much about the movie. She swears she's not going to try out for a part and that, as far as she's concerned, the movie doesn't even exist. Randy is happy to hear that because Dana tends to forget he's alive when something more interesting comes along.

We take a time hop and suddenly it's the day that the production crew arrives. Shelley cannot contain herself and she's practically bouncing off the walls. She hasn't studied or done her homework in days and, for some reason, Dana seems to take this as a personal attack and she goes stomping from the room. No idea why but Dana is a life-ruining enigma so.........#shrug

By that afternoon, the campus is in complete chaos as the crew tries to ready everything. All anyone can talk about is the upcoming audition process and Shelley is extremely cranky. This movie is HER opportunity and she doesn't want anyone else auditioning and taking her dream away.

The notice finally goes up for auditions. They are looking for extras, stand-ins and walk-ons. Obviously Shelley is going to audition and Casey says she will too. She and Shelley get into a little bit of a tiff over it. Casey thinks Shelley is being WAY TOO FUCKING DRAMATIC which is just a shocker since Shelley is normally so level-headed. \\sarcasm font// Pamela promises to help Shelley get ready. She originally promises to get Shelley an advance copy of the script from her mom Yvonne but that doesn't pan out.

Tom comes by to take Shelley on a walk so I guess he's forgotten that entire Randy incident. Or someone forgot to tell the ghostie about it. #fuckcontinuity I'm a little disappointed because him throwing the coin at her and telling her to grow up was the only redeeming moment in the last book. They walk around campus and he asks her out for Friday. She tells him that she can't go because of the auditions and he's grumpy about it. She tells him that getting a part is a “sure thing” because her ego is even bigger than poor dead Gale.

Audition day arrives and Shelley is a nervous wreck despite Pamela's best attempts to calm her down. Pamela is a little braggy in this book but pretty human so far. I think someone also forgot to tell the ghostie that Pamela is an insufferable bitch. #fuckcontinuitywithachainsaw Dana has come along for moral support and Faith is there trying to get interviews. It's pretty futile, though. Before the audition, everyone is nervous and afterwards they all seem to be in a bad mood and don't want to talk to her.

When it comes Shelley's time to audition, she's only allowed to say two lines and then they tell her she can go. She's sure she's done super badly but she gets a call-back so it must have been okay. Casey is cast as an extra in the party scene and she's thrilled.

I'm a little murky on our timeline here, but at some point Dana heads off to the library to do some research for a paper. As she's passing a production area, she trips over a cable left out and goes flying into a snowbank. It's not as satisfying as the time she went sprawling face first in a mud puddle but I'll take it. An assistant named Peter comes running up to apologize and he offers to let her eat with him at craft services (“It's like the air we breathe...”) to make up for nearly crippling her.

Dana spends the next hour with Peter and is pretty much completely twitterpated. #Randywho? When it comes time for him to go back to work, she reluctantly gathers up her things to go to the library. He tells her that they'll be shooting down by the lake tomorrow and she should come and watch. She's so happy she skips all the way to the library.

On Saturday, Yvonne finally arrives on campus. Faith pretty much hates her on sight because snap judgments of people are kind of her forte. Yvonne invites all the girls to supper at the french restaurant in town but everyone except Shelley declines. She's super excited to go to dinner with a real live movie star. Yvonne spends the entire meal giving Shelley advice and Shelley is soaking it all up like a sponge. She keeps looking at Pamela and thinking about how lucky she is to have a famous mom. Then things....get interesting. Shelley catches sight of Pamela in the candlelight and thinks to herself how beautiful and alluring Pamela is. Is ghostie trying to slip some surprise lesbianism in on us? That's pretty progressive for the 80's.

I wouldn't actually mind a Shelley/Pamela pairing. Someone should write the fanfic.

Naturally, Shelley comes back to 407 and immediately gets into a fight with Dana and Faith over Yvonne and Pamela because Kennedy needs some conflict in this book. Dana and Faith aren't impressed and Shelley takes that as a personal insult for......reasons. She ends up yelling at them both and storming out and I still have no real idea what the fight was even about really.

We skip to Sunday afternoon and Dana is hanging around watching a scene being shot in the maple grove. She waits hours to talk to Peter and then he only gets a few minutes for a break. Dana tries to be understanding but she's “disgusted” that he actually has a job to do and can't focus solely on her like she deserves. Peter tells her that it would easier to spend time with her if she had a part in the movie and reminds her that they're doing the final casting that night for all the people who got call-backs. The only problem is that Dana never auditioned and, therefore, isn't being called back for anything. She's determined to crash the casting, though, and get herself a part so she can get the man. Kennedy assures us that this is okay because Randy isn't really Dana's boyfriend....he's just a “great pal”. EXCUSE ME??? You know this isn't remotely true, Kennedy. Way back on page 27 you said....and I QUOTE.... “she turned to her boyfriend Randy”. I REST MY FUCKING CASE. He's her boyfriend and you can't change that just because you don't want us to think she's cheating on him. AGAIN.

Pamela catches Shelley before she goes in and gives her the “scoop” on the director. She tells Shelley that this particular director likes his actors to underplay their parts. Pamela advises her to do her lines in a whisper with no emotion and she's practically guaranteed a part. I know Shelley is a little on the dumb side but surely she's not this dumb. 

Right? 

Wrong. 

She does exactly what Pamela said and she gets dismissed after two lines. As she's leaving, Dana comes in and Shelley is confused. She hears the assistant tell Dana to read for the same part Shelley just read for. Shelley catches one or two of Dana's lines and feels reassured because Dana is not underplaying anything.

When Dana gets back to 407, Shelley asks her what the hell is going on. Dana explains that she needed a part in the movie to see Peter and Shelley takes that as another personal insult. She can't believe Dana would disrespect the craft like that and feels like Dana's making a mockery out of acting in general. When she asks how Dana got into call-backs, Dana says she just told them she got a notice to come and no one questioned it. Shelley is furious. When she finds out Dana got the part, she's crushed. Dana feels bad. She had no idea they'd be up for the same part but Shelley doesn't want to listen to any of that. She storms away wondering if Pamela gave her bad advice on purpose.

Do you think?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The next day, Faith gets up early to get some pictures. She keeps getting denied permission but she doesn't let that stop her. She shows up at the make-up tent and asks the make-up artist if she can snap a few photos. He's friendly and grants her permission. Not that he has the authority to do that and I really hope her sanctimonious ass gets in trouble for this.

Shelley confronts Pamela and Pamela says that the director must have been trying to go against his regular style this time. She's sure that Shelley can still get a part. She volunteers to speak to her mother about it and asks Shelley to meet her outside the production room at 3:00. Shelley has a math test at 3:00 but decides this is more important. After all, this could be the first step to her future and she's ready to take it.

Yvonne manages to get Shelley a meeting with the casting director (Carol) and Pamela accompanies her in. Pamela is rude and condescending to Carol and demands to know what can be done for Shelley. Carol is regretful but can only offer Shelley a part as an extra or a job as a stand-in. Pamela sniffs and says those options aren't good enough. She ushers a stunned Shelley right out of the office, saying her mother isn't going to be happy about this at all.

Shelley meets up with Faith who is still taking her illegal pictures. She's headed for the scene that Dana is in and Shelley reluctantly joins her. She spends the entire time making snide comments about Dana's lack of acting ability and feeling jealous that she didn't get the part. One of the stars – a hot guy named Troy – sees Shelley standing around during a break and makes small talk with her. He reveals that the secret to auditioning with this particular director is to OVERplay everything and that everyone in the business knows it. Shelley realizes Pamela purposefully fed her bad advice. Troy does a little flirting and invites Shelley to have some cocoa with him. Because big movie stars are always interested in spending time with naive, underaged school girls. Oh......wait........

Later an exuberant Shelley meets back up with Faith. Troy has gotten her a part as an extra in a group scene because he “admires her talent as an actress”. Faith tries to gently point out that Troy probably says that to a lot of girls in order to get them to drop their panties but Shelley is having none of it. She continues to insist that Troy admires her and wants to help her get discovered. 

Oh, Shelley. 

She and Faith go to dinner but Dana doesn't join them because she can use craft services since she has a speaking part. Shelley finds that a “disgusting situation” and can't believe that Dana is getting better treatment than her.  On a side note, Kennedy really seems to like the word 'disgusting'.  We really should buy her a thesaurus.

The next morning, Faith sneaks on set again to get some candid shots of the actors. She catches Yvonne in a very unflattering state – hair sticking up in all directions and yelling at the staff. She's pretty proud of the photos she's capturing because she is truly just the worst.

I like her even less than usual.

A few days fly by and Dana is settling into a routine of classes in the morning and then the movie in the afternoon/evening including dinner and breaks with Peter. She rarely gets to bed before midnight and is pretty tired but exhilarated at the same time. I'm just sitting here wondering why she suddenly ONLY has class in the mornings. This is not a thing, Kennedy. #fuckcontinuity On a random Wednesday, Randy surprises her by showing up on campus and she realizes she hasn't even called him in weeks. Oops.

Dana lets him walk her to set, explaining that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her. He's really understanding and says he just misses her and can't wait to see her again. He's super sweet as always and, as always, she doesn't bother to tell him she's been seeing Peter at every opportunity. Randy asks her if she'll go to a movie with him on Saturday but she says she's much too busy. At least she doesn't suggest he go with Shelley this time. Peter is heading their way so Dana quickly punts Randy into the ether so they won't accidentally meet. She's just so awful, y'all.

I think I hate everyone more than usual.

Except Pamela.

Troy comes up to Shelley on set and asks her what she's doing later. She has a date with Tom and a ton of homework but she naturally tells him she's available. He wants to have dinner with her in Greenleaf and tells her to meet him at his trailer at 6:30. She's giddy with excitement and just knows that he's totally in love with her. It makes up for the disappointment of being an extra which isn't as glamorous as she thought it would be.

Troy is kind of obnoxious on their date, looking down on everything and saying how much better life in LA is. Shelley is completely smitten with him, though, and doesn't notice his douchebaggery. He tells her that he's shooting an action movie after this one on location in Rio and he thinks she should come along. He tells her if she comes out to the coast with him, he'll introduce her to his agent and then she'll probably get a principal role. For some reason – mostly stupidity I suspect – Shelley believes this and knows she'll be a star in no time. 

Oh, Shelley. 

You poor, poor stupid girl.

Alison pulls Shelley into her room when Shelley gets back to the dorms. Shelley's teachers have all reported a marked downturn in her grades and Alison wants to know what's up. Shelley tells her she's been a little preoccupied but swears she'll get back on track. #sameoldstorysameoldsong Alison mentions that Tom showed up for their date and Shelley realizes she completely forgot to call and tell him she wasn't going. She figures it doesn't matter much if he's mad at her because she'll be going off to LA soon.

Weeks pass and Dana is pretty much head over heels for Peter. She knows he'll be heading out to the west coast soon but figures they'll find a way to stay together because they are so “special to each other”. She thinks they have a week or more left but Pamela surprises her by mentioning today is the last day of shooting. The wrap party is that night and Dana is surprised that Peter never mentioned it to her. She figures they'll go to the party and make plans for how they are going to conduct their long distance relationship. 

Oh, Dana.

Seriously, none of these girls have a spare brain cell.

Faith compiles an album of all her shots and shows them to a few people. The make-up artist from earlier advises her to keep them under lock and key because Yvonne definitely wouldn't be happy to find out about them. Not sure if this is a plot point or not, so I mention it.

Shelley finds out it's the last day of shooting too which means everyone is headed to LA tomorrow. She pulls Faith aside and confides that she's going to go with Troy and get a big part in his next movie. Faith is immediately doubtful of any of this happening and it pisses Shelley off royally.

When Dana gets to the wrap party that night she finds out that Peter and Pamela are there together. He tells Dana that she's “a nice girl” (HA!  LIES!) but Pamela has connections through her mother that could further his career. Dana stomps out angrily.

Meanwhile Shelley discovers that Troy isn't at the party at all. She goes to his trailer and he opens the door looking “sleepy”. I'm pretty sure “sleepy” is Kennedy's way of implying that he's either drunk or high without actually saying it. Anyway, Shelley asks him about tomorrow and he says he'll say goodbye but it has to be early because he's flying out before noon. He makes no mention of her joining him and she realizes he never really had any intention of taking her with him. She stomps away angrily.

Shelley and Dana end up in Alison's room telling her all about those rat fink boys. Faith wanders up eventually to report her album with all her pictures has been stolen. Alison miraculously produces it and says she caught Pamela coming out of 407 with it earlier and rescued it. I'm not sure when this is supposed to have happened because Pamela was already at the party when the other girls got there and Dana left the party to go immediately to Alison and Pamela was still with Peter then. THIS MAKES NO SENSE, KENNEDY!! Keep your story straight, please. At any rate, the book pretty abruptly ends at that point. I guess neither Randy nor Tom will ever find out they were cheated on. AGAIN.

The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: I hated Pamela less than usual but she was pretty shady through the entire book so I can't really give it to her. I'm going to hand it to Casey who was barely in the book but definitely wasn't annoying.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: Faith gets this one. Her glee over taking pictures that made people look bad was pretty gross.

Coming Up Next: Canby Hall is in danger of closing or something and it's probably going to be up to the girls of 407 to save the day.

#yawn

Boy Trouble (Book 9) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: Is any boy worth the price of friendship?

From the Back of the Book:  Never get mixed up with your roommates boyfriend.  The girls of Canby Hall find that rules were made to be broken, when Shelley starts dating Randy behind Dana's back.  Of course Dana's busy schedule is the reason Shelley and Randy went out for the first time - at Dana's request.  But the new couple really like each other, and forget it's hard to hide anything in a place as small as Canby Hall.  Shelley's going to need some fast answers and Dana's going to have to do some soul searching for the girls of Canby Hall to make it through this one.

This book was published in 1984 and this is my first time reading it. The ghostie for this book is Lucille Warner who did A Roommate Returns in the Andy/Toby/Jane series and You're no Friend of Mine in the Dana/Faith/Shelley series. I remember hating both those book so......sigh.

I don't actually mind the cover of this one. Dana looks too old but at least the cover model matches her general description for once. I have no idea who the blonde with the headband is but I guess we'll find out.  (((Note from Future Me: We did not find out.  It never happened.)))

Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley (small-town farm girl). For now, Dana is dating the magically delicious Randy, Faith is seeing wannabe-cop Johnny and Shelley is dating Tom from Greenleaf High while on a break from her one-true-love Paul. In the last book, Canby Hall got a brand new Guidance Counselor named Michael. From the start he creeped me out by being inappropriately close to the young female students and giving them super bad advice. Dana starts seeing him because of mild depression and instantly develops an enormous crush on him leading her to be a bitch to Randy yet again. Shelley also booked a few appointments due to a burgeoning eating disorder which he completely fucked her over about. Pamela tried to get Michael fired and probably should have succeeded but didn't. And Michael ended up with Alison in the end.

Missing, Presumed Dead:No one.  Not only is everyone present and accounted for, a bunch of new people showed up out of nowhere.

Risen From the Tulip Bed: Gale! Shelley's “chubbiness” is mentioned by page 4.

We begin with Shelley and Dana hanging out in 407 on a Friday night. Shelley is experimenting with some new makeup colors while Dana gets ready for a date with Randy.. She doesn't want to go, though and she's grumbling the entire time. RANDY, YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!!! We get a mini review.........Faith is a massive bitch who feels it's her life purpose to judge others......Shelley is a dramatic pain-in-the-ass who can't decide which boy she loves.........Dana is a soulless demon who ruins every life she touches. Well, Warner might not have put it exactly like that but she came disturbingly close, y'all. By the way, it's only page 4 and she's mentioned Gale twice.

Shelley is happy that she'll have the room to herself tonight. Can't really blame her. If had her roommates, I'd prefer solitude as well. She tells us that she “almost had a real problem about not eating” “last year” and I'm super confused. Has an entire year passed? Are they seniors now? I don't think we took a massive timehop. I think Warner just fucked up. #fuckcontinuity

We hop into Dana's head as she goes downstairs to meet Randy. She tells us that he's one of the most beautiful boys she knows but he's still just a “country boy” and therefore can never be her one true love. She's behind on her homework and decides to use that as her excuse for not going out with him. He's disappointed at the late notice and she suddenly comes up with the brilliant plan to ask Shelley to go to the movies with him instead. It takes some convincing but Shelley eventually agrees. Randy accepts the new date graciously and it's clear he's trying very hard not to make Shelley feel like an unwanted companion.

Randy is a complete gentleman, pretending that he's perfectly happy to be going on a date with his girlfriend's roommate. Shelley tells him that he has tremendous grace under pressure. I'm not sure pressure is the right word but he definitely has a lot of grace. They find out they have a lot in common....Shelley's grandparents had a farm and Randy wants to farm some of his family's ranch land. They enjoy a movie and then a pizza afterwards and swap stories. When they leave Pizza Pete's, Shelley points out Orion and Randy is “delighted”. He asks how Shelley knows about “such things”. I think this is a comment on just how dumb people think Shelley is if they're amazed that she knows about a well-known constellation that we all learned about in grade school.

Shelley finds Randy easy to be around and comfortingly familiar. He reminds her of the boys back home and she doesn't have to pretend to be more sophisticated around him. Randy thinks Shelley is wholesome and uncomplicated and very different from Dana.

We skip to Sunday. Dana has a date to have brunch at Randy's house. She seems happy to see him but rapidly thinks to herself that he isn't the “ideal boy” for her at all. She goes on for a few sentences about how much more superior Michael is and then resolves to endure this brunch and Randy's company as best she can. #Danacandie

Now it's Monday and Dana is in Literature class with Faith and Casey. Pamela is trying to tell Dana her hot gossip when the teacher asks her if she has something she wants to share with the rest of the class. Pamela stands up and says she saw Dana's boyfriend out with Dana's roommate on Friday. Dana then stands up and says she asked Randy to take Shelley out and the entire class sans Casey and Faith laughs at her. Dana is humiliated and can't believe that everyone believes Pamela over her.

It's a new day – don't ask me which day because Warner never bothered to tell me – and Tom is taking Shelley to a town that's two towns away from Greenleaf. She had to get special permission for it because she had to miss two of her afternoon classes to go and the Canby girls aren't supposed to go further afield than Greenleaf unless they're going home. There's a book on hold for her at this library and she has to pick it up. Tom's not staying, though. He has to be somewhere else so Shelley is supposed to get the book and take the noon bus home. If she misses the noon bus, the next one isn't until 4:30 which means she'll get back to campus super late and probably won't be allowed to leave again.

How long is this bus ride? Warner makes it sound like it's hours but if that was true, wouldn't it have taken her hours to get there too? Thus, wouldn't she be missing morning AND afternoon classes. Sigh.

#fucklogic

Also.......how fucking obvious is it that Shelley is going to miss that noon bus and need a ride from a certain 💫magical💫 cowboy? This is disappointingly broadcast, Warner. Do better.

Sure enough, Shelley starts poking around the library and finds the theater section. She gets so involved in reading that she loses all track of time. In a twist of events that NONE OF US SAW COMING \\sarcastic font// Randy arrives at the library just past noon which is a totally believable coincidence \\sarcastic font//. He says he came to this particular town because they are just top aces when it comes to barbed wire and he dropped by the library to check out some books because it has a better selection than the Greenleaf library. Shelley is thrilled to see him because it's past noon and she's missed the bus. He volunteers to drive her home but he wants to have lunch first since he's starving.

After they eat, they walk around town and suddenly it's after 4:00. So she's going to be late getting back anyway. What was the point of the heroic 💫magical💫 cowboy rescue? They flirt and hold hands and now Warner is going to make me hate her because she totally fucks up Randy's character by having him kiss Dana.

#ghostieassassin #saveToby #ImeanRandy

Of course, he explains it by saying that he and Dana aren't super committed (which is true since she keeps dumping him for other guys and doesn't even really like him most of the time) but that's beside the point. I KNOW Randy. I've been a fan of his character for a bazillion books by now and THIS IS NOT SOMETHING RANDY WOULD DO. Randy would talk to Dana first and tell her that he was kind of interested in Shelley. Shelley, on the other hand, definitely WOULD do this. She already has two boyfriends....what's another??

Randy drives her back to campus and they kiss for awhile just outside the gates which is pretty stupid even for Shelley. Randy wants to talk to Dana about things because even with Warner's character assassination he still has some semblance of his old self. Shelley says she hates sneaking around but doesn't want to tell Dana about it either so........ #shrug

A few days later, Randy calls Baker House hoping to talk to Shelley but Dana answers the phone. She assumes he called to talk to her and he feels awkward so he doesn't correct her. She invites him to her choir concert which is going to be a polyphony from the Middle Ages. Randy isn't sure he wants to go because he isn't into “that kind of music”. In case you're wondering, “Polyphony simply refers to having more than one note at a time. Virtually all music we listen to today is polyphonic.” So I guess it's the Middle Ages part that Randy is protesting? Can't blame him there. Dana is irritated though. She says a bunch of them are getting together afterwards (Faith and Johnny, Shelley and Tom etc) and she wants him to at least come to that part. He seems pretty reluctant – probably because of the awkwardness of being there with Tom and Dana when he's hot for Shelley.

#ghostieassassin #saveRandy

Dana tells herself that she's being a bitch . Randy doesn't have to like everything she likes. But she doesn't truly believe that. Even as she's thinking it, she's pissed at him for not being into Middle Age polyphony. She recognizes that she's really rough on him and wishes she could be nicer but..... #shrug. She can't really be bothered trying to actually change.

There's a chapter about Randy/Dana, Tom/Shelley and Johnny/Faith going on a very awkward triple date to the movies but nothing really happens other than Shelley telling us it's awkward over and over.

We make it almost halfway through the book before our #BPlot emerges. Casey fails an English test and she's feeling persecuted and angry. I wonder if Warner is going to go the learning disability route here? It sure seems like it.  (((Note from future me: this goes nowhere.  Don't pay attention to it.)))  She's supposed to meet with her English teacher but goes to town with Pamela of all people instead. Ellie and Mary Beth are with them and they go to a grocery store to stock up on snacks. As they walk along the aisles, Pamela is trying to bond with Casey, telling her that their parents know each other. Pamela's mom bought some art from Casey's parents over the summer and met them somewhere in Europe or something. This is not the way to Casey's heart since her parents are pretty absentee in her life.

Casey is irritated and driving the cart around in an angry manner making all kinds of abrupt motions. She eventually runs into a corner display and knocks over two bags of sugar which explode on impact and get all over the floor. The sugar avalanche startles a woman farther down the aisle and she drives her cart into the condiments which breaks open the glass ketchup bottles and adds ketchup to the sugar.

WHAT KIND OF GROCERY STORE HAS KETCHUP AND SUGAR IN THE SAME DAMN AISLE???

#Warnerclearlyhasnevershopped

Casey immediately slips on sugar and ketchup and goes down on the floor, getting sticky, tomato-y goodness all over her coat. This causes her, Mary Beth and Ellie to start laughing hysterically. Pamela is instantly embarrassed and walks off saying she doesn't know any of them. For some reason, Casey, Mary Beth and Ellie starting running around the store at this point. No, I don't fucking know why. A toddler sees them and thinks they're playing and rushes after them to join. The toddler's mother knocks over a display of cake while chasing the ragtag group and then Mary Beth and Ellie step on the cake and make another mess.

Wait.

For fuck's sake, Warner.

The mother is chasing the toddler who is chasing the three girls. Therefore the three girls ARE AHEAD OF THE MOTHER AND CAN'T STEP IN THE FUCKING CAKE SHE KNOCKED OVER!!!!!

#fucklogic

Eventually store security catches up with them and the girls realize they've made a wreck of the grocery store. They don't apologize though. Mary Beth and Ellie are pretty much scared speechless and Casey is putting on a show of being belligerent. Pamela rejoins them and snottily says that her mother will pay for everything and give the guard an autographed picture if he just lets them go. The guard suddenly morphs into a manager somehow and is pissed off by their attitudes and puts them all in the security office to wait while he calls the school.

PA and Alison arrive (even though Ellie doesn't even live in Baker House) and the girls are pretty scared by this point. Pamela again says that her mother will pay for everything but PA basically tells her to sit down and shut up. The manager says he wants payment for all the damages and that the girls will be banned from the store for a month. Pamela pops off and says there are plenty of other stores in town to go to and he vows to teach her a lesson somehow.

This has to be the dumbest #BPlot ever.

PA and Alison haul them back to campus. Mary Beth is pretty much just sobbing into kleenex, Pamela is furious and Ellie and Casey are scared. Casey has been flying a little close to the sun with PA for a long time. PA gathers them in her house and tells them that she hasn't finished deciding what measures she's going to take. For now, they are restricted to campus for three weeks. They can't leave for any reason and all special privileges – whatever those may be – are revoked until further notice. With that, they're dismissed.

Sunday rolls around and Shelley sneaks out to see Randy. They ride horses on his land and then drive to that far away town to go to the diner. Somehow, despite being restricted to campus, Pamela is walking down the street in this faraway town and she sees them. Shelley bursts into tears which breaks Randy's heart. He's hands her Kleenex and tries to reassure her that everything will be okay. She cries for a bit and he holds her and then she decides that maybe she was just seeing things and it wasn't Pamela after all.

Shelley spends a chapter fretting about whether or not it was Pamela and finally she decides to subtly ask her. The only problem is that Shelley doesn't know how to be subtle. She sidles up to Pamela and casually {{ie NOT casually}} asks her how it's going being “campused”. Pamela says it sucks but her only consolation is that Greenleaf is fucking boring anyway. Shelley brings up the name of the town she was in on Sunday but Pamela doesn't react to it at all. In fact, she seems puzzled. Shelley mentions that she thought she saw Pamela there when she and Randy......then she turns bright red and corrects it to Tom......when she and Tom went there for lunch. Pamela says it wasn't her.

We hop into Pamela's head for a paragraph. She's amused. It wasn't her that Shelley saw on Sunday because she was at Baker House like she was supposed to be. She hadn't been fooled by Shelley's Randy/Tom correction and knew for a fact that Shelley hadn't been with Tom because Tom had come to the house looking for her. Pamela wonders what to do with her information.

The next day, Faith and Dana head to town to do a little shopping but they stop at Tutti Frutti first. The guy behind the counter says he can't serve them. No one from Canby is allowed to eat there for two weeks. They're puzzled but they eventually leave. When they get to the clothing store they are told the same thing – no Canby girl can shop there for two weeks. What's more, the shop owner says they'll find the same thing is true all over town. Sure enough, the camera store refuses to sell Faith film and when they walk by the grocery store, the security guard won't even let them in. They return back to campus to find it abuzz with other stories of girls being refused service all over town. They take it to Alison who verifies their claims and then takes it to PA. The girls are sure that PA is going to set it all right to keep from having the school embarrassed.

PA is scandalized. It reflects badly on the school to have the merchants in town pissed off and boycotting Canby. She summons the four hooligans involved in the supermarket shenanigans and orders them to write the manager of the store an apology letter immediately. As they head back to the dorms, the girls discuss things. Ellie and Mary Beth are both remorseful for what they did at the store and feel guilty about the other girls being banned so they agree to write the letters. Pamela says she won't do it and she encourages Casey to also sit it out. Casey finally agrees to forego the letter and Pamela pretty much sees that as a sign of their BFF-dom.

The girls on the floor are waiting for them all to get back. Mary Beth is the first to speak. She apologizes to all of the girls for the ban and tells them what PA asked them to do. She immediately goes into her room to write her letter. Pamela informs the crowd that she isn't going to apologize until the stores in town apologize to her. The crowd isn't too happy about this and they get even more pissed when they hear that Casey is also refusing to write the letter. Faith gets all high-handed which is a HUGE surprise \\\sarcastic font/// and orders Casey to write it which just makes stubborn Casey even more set on not doing it. #waytogoFaith

The next day everyone is still frustrated – especially with Casey and Pamela. There's talk that the Canby ban might last longer since they refuse to apologize. Faith and Grace {{{WHO THE FUCK IS GRACE????????}}} discuss doing an article for the school paper. Faith can get some pictures but she thinks Grace will find it hard to get an interview with any of the shop owners. For some reason that Warner doesn't bother to explain, Pamela rocks up to the newspaper office and drops a pretty huge hint about Shelley seeing Randy. Faith vows to check it out because there's only 40 pages left to wrap up this story and she knows it needs to get moving.

Two days later, Mary Beth and Ellie have written their letters but all the businesses in town are still boycotting. PA calls a mandatory meeting for the entire student body first thing the next morning. Dana is nervous. She describes it as having the “galloping jitters” which (1) sounds like diarrhea to me and (2) is NOT something Dana would say. MAYBE Shelley but that's a pretty big stretch too. Toby would have said it but she doesn't exist yet.

#ImissToby

PA announces that the boycott in town will continue until Pamela and Casey have written their letters of apology. She makes sure to mention them by name so the entire student body knows who is keeping them from Pizza Pete's. She then says that because Pamela and Casey represent the school, the school will be punished. From this point on, the entire campus is.....well, campused. No one can leave. Everyone is hella pissed and Casey and Pamela quickly become number one on everyone's ish list.

Meanwhile Faith is going through turmoil. She used to be the only one who could get through to Casey but now Casey isn't listening to anything she says. She also knows Shelley is creepin' behind Dana's back but she doesn't know what to do about that either. She's disappointed in both her friends and her ability to handle everything herself.

A few days pass and tempers are getting way short. The girls from 407 organize a meeting of all the Baker House residents (minus Pamela and Casey) to figure out what to do to get the assholes to apologize. They finally decide to just march to their respective rooms and refuse to leave until the letters are written. They go to Casey first, assuming she'll be easiest. They're stunned when they find out she's already writing her letter and there is no need for a sit in. For some reason they don't go to Pamela's room at this point. I don't know why.

Casey visits Pamela's room on her own to tell her that she's written the letter and she thinks Pamela should too. Pamela still thinks it's beneath her and that she's the one owed the apology. She refuses to give in.

The next night they finally decide to go to Pamela's room. She tells them they're wasting their time. Since she's campused, she doesn't really care that everyone else is. In fact, it makes her happy to know they aren't enjoying their lives either. She turns off the light and goes to bed ignoring everyone. They all stand around in the dark for a bit feeling dumb and then they leave.

Faith comes up with the idea to pretend like Pamela doesn't exist. They'll get every girl in school to completely ignore her and eventually she'll get sick of it and cave. It sounds like a Mrs Piggle-Wiggle cure to me. I swear it is one. They talk to the girls in the other dorms and everyone is pissed off enough to agree to try it. At first Pamela just laughs and pretends she's not affected by it. She tries bribing girls with things to get them to acknowledge her. It goes on for five full days before she finally gives in but it isn't graciously. She's particularly mad at Casey and vows revenge.

By noon the next day, everything is lifted. Everyone but the “original four” is allowed off campus again and all the merchants in town welcome them with open arms.

#BPlotconcluded

Back to the #APlot now because we have less than 20 pages left. It's the day of Dana's boring concert. Even Faith and Shelley aren't looking forward to going and they secretly wish it had been canceled. Randy can't come to the concert – he pleads chores – but he shows up afterwards for the party. Shelley is nervous about having him around. When he shows up, her heart is in her eyes and Tom sees it. There's an awkward moment and then Randy goes to find Dana. As soon as he's gone, Tom asks her what the hell is going on. Shelley tears up and says it's just been awful, like she's trying to get sympathy from him for all that's gone through while cheating on him. Again. He throws a quarter at her and tells her to call him when she grows up.

I kind of 💖love💖 Tom now.

Tom stalks off and Shelley is left sobbing in the alcove. Randy comes back and he's sad to see her sad. They talk about how they'll always be attracted to each other but the dating has to stop because they're just hurting everyone around them. They hug one last time and, of course, it's witnessed by Dana and Faith.

Dana is pissed at Shelley for dating her boyfriend and pissed at Faith for not telling her. Shelley is still trying to get people to feel sorry for her pain and suffering and I pretty much just want to punch her but I'd never hurt Gale like that.

Faith has her own theory. She thinks Dana put Shelley and Randy together because subconsciously Dana doesn't really want to be with Randy at all. Dana had to know that Shelley and Randy would hit it off when she pushed the two of them together but she still did it. Faith thinks Dana used Shelley whether Dana realizes it or not.

Meanwhile Dana runs straight to Michael. She tells him the entire situation and he spits out almost exactly what Faith said. He thinks Dana did this on purpose to get out of dating Randy. Dana doesn't want to admit it's true. She walks slowly back to the dorm and thinks about things. She isn't in love with Randy. She knows that. She doesn't think he's good enough for her. She's never comfortable with him. Maybe Michael has a point.

When she gets back to 407, Shelley demands Dana forgive her because this whole thing was Dana's idea in the first place. She asked you to go to the movies with him one time, princess, she didn't ask you to make out with him. Dana gets upset at Shelley all over again and leaves to call Randy. She asks him to meet her at Pizza Pete's.

I think she intended to break up with him but when she gets there he apologizes so sincerely and beautifully that she doesn't end up dumping him. This one paragraph was the real Randy and I'm surprised Warner managed to pull it off after what she did to his character. #ghostieassassin Dana forgives Randy and they decide to just move forward from here. He shouldn't. He deserves someone who actually likes him. I feel so bad for him all over again.

Dana goes back to the dorm. She tells Shelley she forgives her and Shelley says that she thinks Randy was just a substitute for Paul. Which is just horrible too. He should be loved for who he is, damn it. Anyway, they literally make up and decide to be best friends again in the span of three sentences on the last page of the book. What the hell? These are not realistic people at all. Warner should be very, very ashamed of this ending.

The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: At first I thought I was going to have to leave this one blank and then I remember Tom throwing the quarter at Shelley.  So, Tom, my boy, this one's for you!

The Bitch of Baker House Award:  Everyone.  Every single person in this book gets this award.  Fight to the death, bitches.

Coming Up Next: Someone is making a movie on campus and it throws the girls from 407 into turmoil.  Oh, and Dana cheats on Randy again.  Such a surprise.  \\sarcastic font//