Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them did.
Tag Line: Is any boy worth the price of friendship?From the Back of the Book: Never get mixed up with your roommates boyfriend. The girls of Canby Hall find that rules were made to be broken, when Shelley starts dating Randy behind Dana's back. Of course Dana's busy schedule is the reason Shelley and Randy went out for the first time - at Dana's request. But the new couple really like each other, and forget it's hard to hide anything in a place as small as Canby Hall. Shelley's going to need some fast answers and Dana's going to have to do some soul searching for the girls of Canby Hall to make it through this one.
This book was published in 1984 and
this is my first time reading it. The ghostie for this book is
Lucille Warner who did A Roommate Returns in the
Andy/Toby/Jane series and You're no Friend of Mine in the
Dana/Faith/Shelley series. I remember hating both those book
so......sigh.
I don't actually mind the cover of this
one. Dana looks too old but at least the cover model matches her
general description for once. I have no idea who the blonde with the
headband is but I guess we'll find out. (((Note from Future Me: We did not find out. It never happened.)))
Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the
drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated
fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley
(small-town farm girl). For now, Dana is dating the magically
delicious Randy, Faith is seeing wannabe-cop Johnny and
Shelley is dating Tom from Greenleaf High while on a break
from her one-true-love Paul.
In the last book, Canby Hall got a brand new Guidance Counselor
named Michael. From the start he creeped me out by being
inappropriately close to the young female students and giving them
super bad advice. Dana starts seeing him because of mild depression
and instantly develops an enormous crush on him leading her to be a
bitch to Randy yet again. Shelley also booked a few appointments due
to a burgeoning eating disorder which he completely fucked her over
about. Pamela tried to get Michael fired and probably should
have succeeded but didn't. And Michael ended up with Alison
in the end.
Missing, Presumed Dead:No one. Not only is everyone present and accounted for, a bunch of new people showed up out of nowhere.
Risen From the Tulip Bed: Gale!
Shelley's “chubbiness” is mentioned by page 4.
We begin with Shelley and Dana hanging
out in 407 on a Friday night. Shelley is experimenting with some new
makeup colors while Dana gets ready for a date with Randy.. She
doesn't want to go, though and she's grumbling the entire time.
RANDY, YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!!! We get a mini
review.........Faith is a massive bitch who feels it's her life
purpose to judge others......Shelley is a dramatic pain-in-the-ass who
can't decide which boy she loves.........Dana is a soulless demon who
ruins every life she touches. Well, Warner might not have put it
exactly like that but she came disturbingly close, y'all. By the way, it's only
page 4 and she's mentioned Gale twice.
Shelley is happy that she'll have the room to herself tonight. Can't
really blame her. If had her roommates, I'd prefer solitude as
well. She tells us that she “almost had a real problem about
not eating” “last
year” and I'm super confused. Has an entire year
passed? Are they seniors now? I don't think we took a massive
timehop. I think Warner just fucked up. #fuckcontinuity
We hop into Dana's head as she goes
downstairs to meet Randy. She tells us that he's one of the most
beautiful boys she knows but he's still just a “country boy” and
therefore can never be her one true love. She's behind on her
homework and decides to use that as her excuse for not going out with
him. He's disappointed at the late notice and she suddenly comes up
with the brilliant plan to ask Shelley to go to the movies with him
instead. It takes some convincing but Shelley eventually agrees.
Randy accepts the new date graciously and it's clear he's trying very
hard not to make Shelley feel like an unwanted companion.
Randy is a complete gentleman,
pretending that he's perfectly happy to be going on a date with his
girlfriend's roommate. Shelley tells him that he has tremendous
grace under pressure. I'm not sure pressure is the right word but he
definitely has a lot of grace. They find out they have a lot in
common....Shelley's grandparents had a farm and Randy wants to farm
some of his family's ranch land. They enjoy a movie and then a pizza
afterwards and swap stories. When they leave Pizza Pete's, Shelley
points out Orion and Randy is “delighted”. He asks how Shelley
knows about “such things”. I think this is a comment on just how
dumb people think Shelley is if they're amazed that she knows about a
well-known constellation that we all learned about in grade school.
Shelley finds Randy easy to be around
and comfortingly familiar. He reminds her of the boys back home and
she doesn't have to pretend to be more sophisticated around him.
Randy thinks Shelley is wholesome and uncomplicated and very
different from Dana.
We skip to Sunday. Dana has a date to
have brunch at Randy's house. She seems happy to see him but rapidly
thinks to herself that he isn't the “ideal boy” for her at
all. She goes on for a few sentences about how much more superior
Michael is and then resolves to endure this brunch and Randy's company as best she can. #Danacandie
Now it's Monday and Dana is in
Literature class with Faith and Casey. Pamela is trying to
tell Dana her hot gossip when the teacher asks her if she has
something she wants to share with the rest of the class. Pamela
stands up and says she saw Dana's boyfriend out with Dana's roommate
on Friday. Dana then stands up and says she asked Randy to take Shelley
out and the entire class sans Casey and Faith laughs at her. Dana is
humiliated and can't believe that everyone believes Pamela over her.
It's a new day – don't ask me which
day because Warner never bothered to tell me – and Tom is taking
Shelley to a town that's two towns away from Greenleaf. She had to
get special permission for it because she had to miss two of her
afternoon classes to go and the Canby girls aren't supposed to go
further afield than Greenleaf unless they're going home. There's a
book on hold for her at this library and she has to pick it up.
Tom's not staying, though. He has to be somewhere else so Shelley is
supposed to get the book and take the noon bus home. If she misses
the noon bus, the next one isn't until 4:30 which means she'll get
back to campus super late and probably won't be allowed to leave
again.
How long is this bus ride? Warner
makes it sound like it's hours but if that was true, wouldn't it have
taken her hours to get there too? Thus, wouldn't she be missing
morning AND afternoon classes. Sigh.
#fucklogic
Also.......how fucking obvious is it
that Shelley is going to miss that noon bus and need a ride from a
certain 💫magical💫 cowboy? This is disappointingly broadcast, Warner.
Do better.
Sure enough, Shelley starts poking
around the library and finds the theater section. She gets so
involved in reading that she loses all track of time. In a twist of
events that NONE OF US SAW COMING \\sarcastic font// Randy arrives at
the library just past noon which is a totally believable coincidence
\\sarcastic font//. He says he came to this particular town because
they are just top aces when it comes to barbed wire and he dropped by
the library to check out some books because it has a better selection
than the Greenleaf library. Shelley is thrilled to see him because it's past
noon and she's missed the bus. He volunteers to drive her home but
he wants to have lunch first since he's starving.
After they eat, they walk around town
and suddenly it's after 4:00. So she's going to be late getting back
anyway. What was the point of the heroic 💫magical💫 cowboy rescue?
They flirt and hold hands and now Warner is going to make me hate her
because she totally fucks up Randy's character by having him kiss
Dana.
#ghostieassassin #saveToby #ImeanRandy
Of course, he explains it by saying
that he and Dana aren't super committed (which is true since she
keeps dumping him for other guys and doesn't even really like him
most of the time) but that's beside the point. I KNOW Randy. I've
been a fan of his character for a bazillion books by now and THIS IS
NOT SOMETHING RANDY WOULD DO. Randy would talk to Dana first and
tell her that he was kind of interested in Shelley. Shelley, on the
other hand, definitely WOULD do this. She already has two
boyfriends....what's another??
Randy drives her back to campus and
they kiss for awhile just outside the gates which is pretty stupid
even for Shelley. Randy wants to talk to Dana about things because
even with Warner's character assassination he still has some
semblance of his old self. Shelley says she hates sneaking around
but doesn't want to tell Dana about it either so........ #shrug
A few days later, Randy calls Baker
House hoping to talk to Shelley but Dana answers the phone. She
assumes he called to talk to her and he feels awkward so he doesn't
correct her. She invites him to her choir concert which is going to
be a polyphony from the Middle Ages. Randy isn't sure he wants to go
because he isn't into “that kind of music”. In case
you're wondering, “Polyphony
simply refers to having more than one note at a time. Virtually all
music we listen to today is polyphonic.”
So I guess it's the Middle Ages part that Randy is protesting?
Can't blame him there. Dana is irritated though. She says a bunch
of them are getting together afterwards (Faith and Johnny, Shelley
and Tom etc) and she wants him to at least come to that part. He
seems pretty reluctant – probably because of the awkwardness of
being there with Tom and Dana when he's hot for Shelley.
#ghostieassassin #saveRandy
Dana tells herself that she's being a
bitch . Randy doesn't have to like everything she likes. But she
doesn't truly believe that. Even as she's thinking it, she's pissed
at him for not being into Middle Age polyphony. She recognizes that
she's really rough on him and wishes she could be nicer but.....
#shrug. She can't really be bothered trying to actually change.
There's a chapter about Randy/Dana,
Tom/Shelley and Johnny/Faith going on a very awkward triple date to
the movies but nothing really happens other than Shelley telling us
it's awkward over and over.
We make it almost halfway through the
book before our #BPlot emerges. Casey fails an English test and
she's feeling persecuted and angry. I wonder if Warner is going to
go the learning disability route here? It sure seems like it. (((Note from future me: this goes nowhere. Don't pay attention to it.))) She's
supposed to meet with her English teacher but goes to town with
Pamela of all people instead. Ellie and Mary Beth are
with them and they go to a grocery store to stock up on snacks. As
they walk along the aisles, Pamela is trying to bond with Casey,
telling her that their parents know each other. Pamela's mom bought
some art from Casey's parents over the summer and met them somewhere
in Europe or something. This is not the way to Casey's heart since
her parents are pretty absentee in her life.
Casey is irritated and driving the cart
around in an angry manner making all kinds of abrupt motions. She
eventually runs into a corner display and knocks over two bags of
sugar which explode on impact and get all over the floor. The sugar
avalanche startles a woman farther down the aisle and she drives her
cart into the condiments which breaks open the glass ketchup bottles
and adds ketchup to the sugar.
WHAT KIND OF GROCERY STORE HAS KETCHUP
AND SUGAR IN THE SAME DAMN AISLE???
#Warnerclearlyhasnevershopped
Casey immediately slips on sugar and
ketchup and goes down on the floor, getting sticky, tomato-y goodness
all over her coat. This causes her, Mary Beth and Ellie to start
laughing hysterically. Pamela is instantly embarrassed and walks off
saying she doesn't know any of them. For some reason, Casey, Mary
Beth and Ellie starting running around the store at this point. No,
I don't fucking know why. A toddler sees them and thinks they're
playing and rushes after them to join. The toddler's mother knocks
over a display of cake while chasing the ragtag group and then Mary
Beth and Ellie step on the cake and make another mess.
Wait.
For fuck's sake, Warner.
The mother is chasing the toddler who
is chasing the three girls. Therefore the three girls ARE AHEAD OF
THE MOTHER AND CAN'T STEP IN THE FUCKING CAKE SHE KNOCKED OVER!!!!!
#fucklogic
Eventually store security catches up
with them and the girls realize they've made a wreck of the grocery
store. They don't apologize though. Mary Beth and Ellie are pretty
much scared speechless and Casey is putting on a show of being
belligerent. Pamela rejoins them and snottily says that her mother
will pay for everything and give the guard an autographed picture if
he just lets them go. The guard suddenly morphs into a manager somehow and is pissed off by their attitudes and
puts them all in the security office to wait while he calls the
school.
PA and Alison arrive (even though Ellie
doesn't even live in Baker House) and the girls are pretty scared by
this point. Pamela again says that her mother will pay for
everything but PA basically tells her to sit down and shut up. The
manager says he wants payment for all the damages and that the girls
will be banned from the store for a month. Pamela pops off and says
there are plenty of other stores in town to go to and he vows to
teach her a lesson somehow.
This has to be the dumbest #BPlot ever.
PA and Alison haul them back to campus.
Mary Beth is pretty much just sobbing into kleenex, Pamela is
furious and Ellie and Casey are scared. Casey has been flying a
little close to the sun with PA for a long time. PA gathers them in
her house and tells them that she hasn't finished deciding what
measures she's going to take. For now, they are restricted to campus
for three weeks. They can't leave for any reason and all special
privileges – whatever those may be – are revoked until further
notice. With that, they're dismissed.
Sunday rolls around and Shelley sneaks
out to see Randy. They ride horses on his land and then drive to
that far away town to go to the diner. Somehow, despite being
restricted to campus, Pamela is walking down the street in this
faraway town and she sees them. Shelley bursts into tears which
breaks Randy's heart. He's hands her Kleenex and tries to reassure
her that everything will be okay. She cries for a bit and he holds
her and then she decides that maybe she was just seeing things and it
wasn't Pamela after all.
Shelley spends a chapter fretting about
whether or not it was Pamela and finally she decides to subtly ask
her. The only problem is that Shelley doesn't know how to be subtle.
She sidles up to Pamela and casually {{ie NOT casually}} asks her
how it's going being “campused”. Pamela says it sucks but her
only consolation is that Greenleaf is fucking boring anyway. Shelley
brings up the name of the town she was in on Sunday but Pamela
doesn't react to it at all. In fact, she seems puzzled. Shelley
mentions that she thought she saw Pamela there when she and
Randy......then she turns bright red and corrects it to Tom......when
she and Tom went there for lunch. Pamela says it wasn't her.
We hop into Pamela's head for a
paragraph. She's amused. It wasn't her that Shelley saw on Sunday
because she was at Baker House like she was supposed to be. She
hadn't been fooled by Shelley's Randy/Tom correction and knew for a
fact that Shelley hadn't been with Tom because Tom had come to the
house looking for her. Pamela wonders what to do with her
information.
The next day, Faith and Dana head to
town to do a little shopping but they stop at Tutti Frutti first.
The guy behind the counter says he can't serve them. No one from
Canby is allowed to eat there for two weeks. They're puzzled but
they eventually leave. When they get to the clothing store they are
told the same thing – no Canby girl can shop there for two weeks.
What's more, the shop owner says they'll find the same thing is true
all over town. Sure enough, the camera store refuses to sell Faith
film and when they walk by the grocery store, the security guard
won't even let them in. They return back to campus to find it abuzz
with other stories of girls being refused service all over town.
They take it to Alison who verifies their claims and then takes it to
PA. The girls are sure that PA is going to set it all right to keep
from having the school embarrassed.
PA is scandalized. It reflects badly
on the school to have the merchants in town pissed off and boycotting
Canby. She summons the four hooligans involved in the supermarket
shenanigans and orders them to write the manager of the store an
apology letter immediately. As they head back to the dorms, the
girls discuss things. Ellie and Mary Beth are both remorseful for
what they did at the store and feel guilty about the other girls
being banned so they agree to write the letters. Pamela says she
won't do it and she encourages Casey to also sit it out. Casey
finally agrees to forego the letter and Pamela pretty much sees that
as a sign of their BFF-dom.
The girls on the floor are waiting for
them all to get back. Mary Beth is the first to speak. She
apologizes to all of the girls for the ban and tells them what PA
asked them to do. She immediately goes into her room to write her
letter. Pamela informs the crowd that she isn't going to apologize
until the stores in town apologize to her. The crowd isn't too happy
about this and they get even more pissed when they hear that Casey is
also refusing to write the letter. Faith gets all high-handed which
is a HUGE surprise \\\sarcastic font/// and orders Casey to write it
which just makes stubborn Casey even more set on not doing it.
#waytogoFaith
The next day everyone is still
frustrated – especially with Casey and Pamela. There's talk that
the Canby ban might last longer since they refuse to apologize.
Faith and Grace {{{WHO THE FUCK IS GRACE????????}}} discuss
doing an article for the school paper. Faith can get some pictures
but she thinks Grace will find it hard to get an interview with any
of the shop owners. For some reason that Warner doesn't bother to
explain, Pamela rocks up to the newspaper office and drops a pretty
huge hint about Shelley seeing Randy. Faith vows to check it out
because there's only 40 pages left to wrap up this story and she
knows it needs to get moving.
Two days later, Mary Beth and Ellie
have written their letters but all the businesses in town are still
boycotting. PA calls a mandatory meeting for the entire student body
first thing the next morning. Dana is nervous. She describes it as
having the “galloping
jitters” which (1) sounds like diarrhea to me and (2) is
NOT something Dana would say. MAYBE Shelley but that's a pretty big
stretch too. Toby would have said it but she doesn't exist yet.
#ImissToby
PA announces that the boycott in town
will continue until Pamela and Casey have written their letters of
apology. She makes sure to mention them by name so the entire
student body knows who is keeping them from Pizza Pete's. She then
says that because Pamela and Casey represent the school, the school
will be punished. From this point on, the entire campus is.....well,
campused. No one can leave. Everyone is hella pissed and Casey and
Pamela quickly become number one on everyone's ish list.
Meanwhile Faith is going through
turmoil. She used to be the only one who could get through to Casey
but now Casey isn't listening to anything she says. She also knows
Shelley is creepin' behind Dana's back but she doesn't know what to do
about that either. She's disappointed in both her friends and her
ability to handle everything herself.
A few days pass and tempers are getting
way short. The girls from 407 organize a meeting of all the Baker
House residents (minus Pamela and Casey) to figure out what to do to
get the assholes to apologize. They finally decide to just march
to their respective rooms and refuse to leave until the letters are
written. They go to Casey first, assuming she'll be easiest.
They're stunned when they find out she's already writing her letter
and there is no need for a sit in. For some reason they don't go to
Pamela's room at this point. I don't know why.
Casey visits Pamela's room on her own
to tell her that she's written the letter and she thinks Pamela
should too. Pamela still thinks it's beneath her and that she's the
one owed the apology. She refuses to give in.
The next night they finally decide to
go to Pamela's room. She tells them they're wasting their time.
Since she's campused, she doesn't really care that everyone else is.
In fact, it makes her happy to know they aren't enjoying their lives
either. She turns off the light and goes to bed ignoring everyone.
They all stand around in the dark for a bit feeling dumb and then
they leave.
Faith comes up with the idea to pretend
like Pamela doesn't exist. They'll get every girl in school to
completely ignore her and eventually she'll get sick of it and cave.
It sounds like a Mrs Piggle-Wiggle cure to me. I swear it is one.
They talk to the girls in the other dorms and everyone is pissed off
enough to agree to try it. At first Pamela just laughs and pretends
she's not affected by it. She tries bribing girls with things to get
them to acknowledge her. It goes on for five full days before she
finally gives in but it isn't graciously. She's particularly mad at
Casey and vows revenge.
By noon the next day, everything is
lifted. Everyone but the “original four” is allowed off campus
again and all the merchants in town welcome them with open arms.
#BPlotconcluded
Back to the #APlot now because we have less than 20 pages left. It's the day
of Dana's boring concert. Even Faith and Shelley aren't looking
forward to going and they secretly wish it had been canceled. Randy
can't come to the concert – he pleads chores – but he shows up
afterwards for the party. Shelley is nervous about having him
around. When he shows up, her heart is in her eyes and Tom sees it.
There's an awkward moment and then Randy goes to find Dana. As soon
as he's gone, Tom asks her what the hell is going on. Shelley tears
up and says it's just been awful, like she's trying to get sympathy
from him for all that's gone through while cheating on him. Again.
He throws a quarter at her and tells her to call him when she grows
up.
I kind of 💖love💖 Tom now.
Tom stalks off and Shelley is left
sobbing in the alcove. Randy comes back and he's sad to see her sad.
They talk about how they'll always be attracted to each other but
the dating has to stop because they're just hurting everyone around
them. They hug one last time and, of course, it's witnessed by Dana
and Faith.
Dana is pissed at Shelley for dating
her boyfriend and pissed at Faith for not telling her. Shelley is
still trying to get people to feel sorry for her pain and suffering
and I pretty much just want to punch her but I'd never hurt Gale like
that.
Faith has her own theory. She thinks
Dana put Shelley and Randy together because subconsciously Dana
doesn't really want to be with Randy at all. Dana had to know that
Shelley and Randy would hit it off when she pushed the two of them
together but she still did it. Faith thinks Dana used Shelley
whether Dana realizes it or not.
Meanwhile Dana runs straight to
Michael. She tells him the entire situation and he spits out almost
exactly what Faith said. He thinks Dana did this on purpose to get
out of dating Randy. Dana doesn't want to admit it's true. She
walks slowly back to the dorm and thinks about things. She isn't in
love with Randy. She knows that. She doesn't think he's good enough
for her. She's never comfortable with him. Maybe Michael has a
point.
When she gets back to 407, Shelley
demands Dana forgive her because this whole thing was Dana's idea in
the first place. She asked you to go to the movies with him one
time, princess, she didn't ask you to make out with him. Dana gets
upset at Shelley all over again and leaves to call Randy. She asks
him to meet her at Pizza Pete's.
I think she intended to break up with
him but when she gets there he apologizes so sincerely and beautifully
that she doesn't end up dumping him. This one paragraph was the real
Randy and I'm surprised Warner managed to pull it off after what she
did to his character. #ghostieassassin Dana forgives Randy and they
decide to just move forward from here. He shouldn't. He deserves
someone who actually likes him. I feel so bad for him all over
again.
Dana goes back to the dorm. She tells
Shelley she forgives her and Shelley says that she thinks Randy was
just a substitute for Paul. Which is just horrible too. He should
be loved for who he is, damn it. Anyway, they literally make up and
decide to be best friends again in the span of three sentences on the last page of the book. What
the hell? These are not realistic people at all. Warner should be
very, very ashamed of this ending.
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: At first I thought I was going to have to leave this one blank and then I remember Tom throwing the quarter at Shelley. So, Tom, my boy, this one's for you!
The Bitch of Baker House Award: Everyone. Every single person in this book gets this award. Fight to the death, bitches.
Coming Up Next: Someone is making a movie on campus and it throws the girls from 407 into turmoil. Oh, and Dana cheats on Randy again. Such a surprise. \\sarcastic font//
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