Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them did.
Tag Line: Hollywood comes to Canby Hall.From the Back of the Book: Lights! Camera! Action! Shelley, Dana and Faith are sure that winter at Canby Hall is going to be the pits - until a film crew arrives to shoot a movie right on campus. For Shelley this could be a dream come true. For Dana it will mean unexpected romance with a young production assistant. For Faith it's a chance to shoot some film of her own. But what begins as fun soon pits the girls against one another in the competition surrounding the movie. Will they ever be best friends again?
This book was published in 1985 and I
don't think I read it before. If I did, I don't remember anything
about it. (((Note from Future Me: I did read it. Literally the only thing I remembered was the description of one of Dana's outfits.))) The ghostie for this one is Mary Lou Kennedy which is a
new name in the series. I did a search for her and it seems like she
did some ghosting for the Babysitter's Club books as well which makes
sense. Those were definitely written for a younger audience so we'll
see how this goes.
If this cover looks familiar to you,
it's because it was the back cover of Something Old, Something New
in the new girl series. I think these are my favorite three models
as far as the covers go but that's about the only good thing I have
to say about it. Why is the hairspray called “Raw”?
That's a terrible name for hairspray.
Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the
drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated
fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley
(small-town farm girl). For now, Dana is dating the magically
delicious Randy, Faith is seeing wannabe-cop Johnny and
Shelley is dating Tom from Greenleaf High while on a break
from her one-true-love Paul.
In the last book, Dana asks Shelley to go to a movie with Randy as a
favor so she can do some homework which kicks off the complete and
total assassination of Randy's character (#ghostieassassin
#saveRandy). Randy and Shelley start to sneak around and date. Dana
and Tom eventually find out. Dana forgives them because she doesn't
really give two fucks about Randy anyway (#Danacandie) but Tom is
pretty pissed at Shelley. The Bplot had Casey, Ellie, Mary Beth and
Pamela wrecking a grocery store with teenage shenanigans and then
being rude and refusing to apologize to staff. A massive boycott
against Canby students was waged by every merchant in town and the
entire campus ended up being restricted to grounds until apologizes
were made. Ellie and Mary Beth apologized immediate, Casey did
eventually and Pamela only succumbed after the entire student body
gave her the silent treatment.
Missing, Presumed Dead: As expected, Mary Beth and Ellie used up their usefulness in the last book's Bplot and were not mentioned once in this book. May they rest peacefully under the tulips. Also missing, yet again, was Gale. Shelley's extra 5-15 pounds wasn't mentioned once and, in fact, Faith pointed out how slim Shelley is now.
Risen From the Tulip Bed: No one was buried last book so there are no zombies wandering about this time around.
Kennedy starts out by reviewing the
girls for us. Dana likes to steal souls and ruin lives but she does
it while wearing a red bandanna and a chunky silver belt so at least
she's “fashionable”.....Faith likes to sit on a pedestal and pass
judgment on everyone but it's okay because she's “urban”......Shelley
is a complete lump of overdone drama but they find her endearing
because she's “folksy”. #yawn There's pages and pages about
them talking about snow but I can't be arsed to care.
Every Wednesday morning before class
there's a school-wide assembly. I can hear your thoughts: What
assembly? We're ten books in and they've never mentioned this weekly
assembly before!! I know
this is hard to believe, y'all but a ghostie just completely invented
something and tried to make it canon just to fit her needs for the
story. #shock! #fuck continuity
PA
(head bitch in charge) makes the announcement that a movie company
has asked permission to shoot some scenes on Canby's campus. She
hasn't granted permission yet because she's still considering what a
disruption like that might mean to the school but she warns them that
they might see some “scouts” around the next few days. Shelley
loses her fucking mind at this point and becomes even more annoying
that usual which is 😱ASTRONOMICAL😱. She can't shut up about the
possibility of a movie being shot on campus.
They
all go to the Tutti Frutti after class and Shelley is going on and on
while Dana eats something so disgusting I'm afraid to actually blog
it (a marshmallow, lemon and walnut sundae). Dana makes the mistake
of telling her that Maggie's
friend was discovered at an earring counter in Bloomingdales while
#keepingoneeyeonMaggieatALLtimes. Shelley instantly pushes her
banana split away and declares that she's on a diet and must dash
home to get her beauty sleep because she's on the verge of being
“discovered”
and becoming a big star.
#gag
No, that wasn't a Gale sighting. Gale was never mentioned. I maintain that she is under the tulips again. Fight me.
Two
days later an official announcement is made. A movie will be shot on
campus but students are to go about their lives as if nothing unusual
is happening. I'm sure that will work out fine. It turns out the
movie is about a ghost who haunts a girls' boarding school and
Pamela's mom Yvonne
has a small part in it. I don't know why it's a small part if she's
such a big star but maybe it's a Drew Barrymore in Scream kind of
thing. They will be casting a few extras and small parts from the
student body but Alison (headmother extraordinaire) emphasizes that
their studies must come first and they can't skip school to
participate in any way. I'm sure that will all work out fine.
Everyone
at Canby catches “movie
fever” (hopefully
less destructive than the cheater version they usually get) and since
the girls from 407 know EVERYTHING, they are constantly badgered for
details. Randy's dad is approached about letting them film on his
land but he turns them down, not wanting all the people and equipment
to spook the horses. Dana is amazed that Randy's family doesn't want
the notoriety and fame and it leads to her thinking all over again
that they are very different people and she doesn't understand them
at all. Faith, meanwhile, is desperately hoping to take some amazing
pictures of the behind-the-scenes stuff but she's unsure if the film
company will allow it.
The
days pass and Dana pretends that she doesn't care much about the
movie. She swears she's not going to try out for a part and that, as
far as she's concerned, the movie doesn't even exist. Randy is happy
to hear that because Dana tends to forget he's alive when something
more interesting comes along.
We
take a time hop and suddenly it's the day that the production crew
arrives. Shelley cannot contain herself and she's practically
bouncing off the walls. She hasn't studied or done her homework in
days and, for some reason, Dana seems to take this as a personal
attack and she goes stomping from the room. No idea why but Dana is
a life-ruining enigma so.........#shrug
By
that afternoon, the campus is in complete chaos as the crew tries to
ready everything. All anyone can talk about is the upcoming audition
process and Shelley is extremely cranky. This movie is HER
opportunity and she doesn't want anyone else auditioning and taking
her dream away.
The
notice finally goes up for auditions. They are looking for extras,
stand-ins and walk-ons. Obviously Shelley is going to audition and
Casey says she will too. She and Shelley get into a little bit of a
tiff over it. Casey thinks Shelley is being WAY TOO FUCKING DRAMATIC
which is just a shocker since Shelley is normally so level-headed.
\\sarcasm font// Pamela promises to help Shelley get ready. She
originally promises to get Shelley an advance copy of the script from
her mom Yvonne but that doesn't pan out.
Tom
comes by to take Shelley on a walk so I guess he's forgotten that
entire Randy incident. Or someone forgot to tell the ghostie about
it. #fuckcontinuity I'm a little disappointed because him throwing
the coin at her and telling her to grow up was the only redeeming
moment in the last book. They walk around campus and he asks her out
for Friday. She tells him that she can't go because of the auditions
and he's grumpy about it. She tells him that getting a part is a
“sure thing” because her ego is even bigger than poor dead Gale.
Audition
day arrives and Shelley is a nervous wreck despite Pamela's best
attempts to calm her down. Pamela is a little braggy in this book
but pretty human so far. I think someone also forgot to tell the
ghostie that Pamela is an insufferable bitch.
#fuckcontinuitywithachainsaw Dana has come along for moral support
and Faith is there trying to get interviews. It's pretty futile,
though. Before the audition, everyone is nervous and afterwards they
all seem to be in a bad mood and don't want to talk to her.
When
it comes Shelley's time to audition, she's only allowed to say two
lines and then they tell her she can go. She's sure she's done super
badly but she gets a call-back so it must have been okay. Casey is
cast as an extra in the party scene and she's thrilled.
I'm
a little murky on our timeline here, but at some point Dana heads off
to the library to do some research for a paper. As she's passing a
production area, she trips over a cable left out and goes flying into
a snowbank. It's not as satisfying as the time she went sprawling
face first in a mud puddle but I'll take it. An assistant named
Peter comes running up to apologize and he offers to let her eat with
him at craft services (“It's like the air we breathe...”) to make
up for nearly crippling her.
Dana
spends the next hour with Peter and is pretty much completely
twitterpated. #Randywho? When it comes time for him to go back to
work, she reluctantly gathers up her things to go to the library. He
tells her that they'll be shooting down by the lake tomorrow and she
should come and watch. She's so happy she skips all the way to the
library.
On
Saturday, Yvonne finally arrives on campus. Faith pretty much hates
her on sight because snap judgments of people are kind of her forte.
Yvonne invites all the girls to supper at the french restaurant in
town but everyone except Shelley declines. She's super excited to go
to dinner with a real live movie star. Yvonne spends the entire meal
giving Shelley advice and Shelley is soaking it all up like a sponge.
She keeps looking at Pamela and thinking about how lucky she is to
have a famous mom. Then things....get interesting. Shelley catches
sight of Pamela in the candlelight and thinks to herself how
beautiful and alluring Pamela is. Is ghostie trying to slip some
surprise lesbianism in on us? That's pretty progressive for the
80's.
I
wouldn't actually mind a Shelley/Pamela pairing. Someone should
write the fanfic.
Naturally,
Shelley comes back to 407 and immediately gets into a fight with Dana
and Faith over Yvonne and Pamela because Kennedy needs some conflict
in this book. Dana and Faith aren't impressed and Shelley takes that
as a personal insult for......reasons. She ends up yelling at them
both and storming out and I still have no real idea what the fight
was even about really.
We
skip to Sunday afternoon and Dana is hanging around watching a scene
being shot in the maple grove. She waits hours to talk to Peter and
then he only gets a few minutes for a break. Dana tries to be
understanding but she's “disgusted”
that he actually has a job to do and can't focus solely on her like
she deserves. Peter tells her that it would easier to spend time
with her if she had a part in the movie and reminds her that they're
doing the final casting that night for all the people who got
call-backs. The only problem is that Dana never auditioned and,
therefore, isn't being called back for anything. She's determined to
crash the casting, though, and get herself a part so she can get the man. Kennedy assures us that this is okay because Randy isn't really
Dana's boyfriend....he's just a “great
pal”.
EXCUSE ME??? You know this isn't remotely true, Kennedy. Way
back on page 27 you said....and I QUOTE.... “she
turned to her boyfriend Randy”.
I REST MY FUCKING CASE. He's her boyfriend and you can't change
that just because you don't want us to think she's cheating on
him. AGAIN.
Pamela
catches Shelley before she goes in and gives her the “scoop” on
the director. She tells Shelley that this particular director likes
his actors to underplay their parts. Pamela advises her to do her
lines in a whisper with no emotion and she's practically guaranteed a
part. I know Shelley is a little on the dumb side but surely she's
not this dumb.
Right?
Wrong.
She does exactly what Pamela said and
she gets dismissed after two lines. As she's leaving, Dana comes in
and Shelley is confused. She hears the assistant tell Dana to read
for the same part Shelley just read for. Shelley catches one or two
of Dana's lines and feels reassured because Dana is not underplaying
anything.
When
Dana gets back to 407, Shelley asks her what the hell is going on.
Dana explains that she needed a part in the movie to see Peter and
Shelley takes that as another personal insult. She can't believe
Dana would disrespect the craft like that and feels like Dana's making a mockery
out of acting in general. When she asks how Dana got into
call-backs, Dana says she just told them she got a notice to come and
no one questioned it. Shelley is furious. When she finds out Dana
got the part, she's crushed. Dana feels bad. She had no idea they'd
be up for the same part but Shelley doesn't want to listen to any of
that. She storms away wondering if Pamela gave her bad advice on
purpose.
Do
you think?!?!?!?!?!?!?
The
next day, Faith gets up early to get some pictures. She keeps
getting denied permission but she doesn't let that stop her. She
shows up at the make-up tent and asks the make-up artist if she can
snap a few photos. He's friendly and grants her permission. Not
that he has the authority to do that and I really hope her
sanctimonious ass gets in trouble for this.
Shelley
confronts Pamela and Pamela says that the director must have been
trying to go against his regular style this time. She's sure that
Shelley can still get a part. She volunteers to speak to her mother
about it and asks Shelley to meet her outside the production room at
3:00. Shelley has a math test at 3:00 but decides this is more
important. After all, this could be the first step to her future and
she's ready to take it.
Yvonne
manages to get Shelley a meeting with the casting director (Carol)
and Pamela accompanies her in. Pamela is rude and condescending to
Carol and demands to know what can be done for Shelley. Carol is
regretful but can only offer Shelley a part as an extra or a job as a
stand-in. Pamela sniffs and says those options aren't good enough.
She ushers a stunned Shelley right out of the office, saying her
mother isn't going to be happy about this at all.
Shelley
meets up with Faith who is still taking her illegal pictures. She's
headed for the scene that Dana is in and Shelley reluctantly joins
her. She spends the entire time making snide comments about Dana's
lack of acting ability and feeling jealous that she didn't get the
part. One of the stars – a hot guy named Troy
– sees Shelley standing around during a break and makes small talk
with her. He reveals that the secret to auditioning with this
particular director is to OVERplay everything and that everyone in
the business knows it. Shelley realizes Pamela purposefully fed her
bad advice. Troy does a little flirting and invites Shelley to have
some cocoa with him. Because big movie stars are always interested
in spending time with naive, underaged school girls.
Oh......wait........
Later an exuberant Shelley meets back
up with Faith. Troy has gotten her a part as an extra in a group
scene because he “admires her talent as an actress”.
Faith tries to gently point out that Troy probably says that to a lot
of girls in order to get them to drop their panties but Shelley is
having none of it. She continues to insist that Troy admires her and
wants to help her get discovered.
Oh, Shelley.
She and Faith go to
dinner but Dana doesn't join them because she can use craft services
since she has a speaking part. Shelley finds that a “disgusting
situation” and can't believe that Dana is getting better
treatment than her. On a side note, Kennedy really seems to like the word 'disgusting'. We really should buy her a thesaurus.
The next morning, Faith sneaks on set
again to get some candid shots of the actors. She catches Yvonne in
a very unflattering state – hair sticking up in all directions and
yelling at the staff. She's pretty proud of the photos she's
capturing because she is truly just the worst.
I like her even less than usual.
A few days fly by and Dana is settling
into a routine of classes in the morning and then the movie in the
afternoon/evening including dinner and breaks with Peter. She
rarely gets to bed before midnight and is pretty tired but
exhilarated at the same time. I'm just sitting here wondering why
she suddenly ONLY has class in the mornings. This is not a thing,
Kennedy. #fuckcontinuity On a random Wednesday, Randy surprises her
by showing up on campus and she realizes she hasn't even called him
in weeks. Oops.
Dana lets him walk her to set,
explaining that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her.
He's really understanding and says he just misses her and can't wait
to see her again. He's super sweet as always and, as always, she
doesn't bother to tell him she's been seeing Peter at every
opportunity. Randy asks her if she'll go to a movie with him on
Saturday but she says she's much too busy. At least she doesn't
suggest he go with Shelley this time. Peter is heading their way so
Dana quickly punts Randy into the ether so they won't accidentally meet. She's
just so awful, y'all.
I think I hate everyone more than
usual.
Except Pamela.
Troy comes up to Shelley on set and
asks her what she's doing later. She has a date with Tom and a ton
of homework but she naturally tells him she's available. He wants to
have dinner with her in Greenleaf and tells her to meet him at his
trailer at 6:30. She's giddy with excitement and just knows that
he's totally in love with her. It makes up for the disappointment of
being an extra which isn't as glamorous as she thought it would be.
Troy is kind of obnoxious on their
date, looking down on everything and saying how much better life in
LA is. Shelley is completely smitten with him, though, and doesn't
notice his douchebaggery. He tells her that he's shooting an action
movie after this one on location in Rio and he thinks she should come
along. He tells her if she comes out to the coast with him, he'll
introduce her to his agent and then she'll probably get a principal
role. For some reason – mostly stupidity I suspect – Shelley
believes this and knows she'll be a star in no time.
Oh, Shelley.
You poor, poor stupid girl.
Alison pulls Shelley into her room when
Shelley gets back to the dorms. Shelley's teachers have all reported
a marked downturn in her grades and Alison wants to know what's up.
Shelley tells her she's been a little preoccupied but swears she'll
get back on track. #sameoldstorysameoldsong Alison mentions that
Tom showed up for their date and Shelley realizes she completely
forgot to call and tell him she wasn't going. She figures it doesn't
matter much if he's mad at her because she'll be going off to LA
soon.
Weeks pass and Dana is pretty much head
over heels for Peter. She knows he'll be heading out to the west
coast soon but figures they'll find a way to stay together because
they are so “special to each other”. She thinks they have a week
or more left but Pamela surprises her by mentioning today is the last
day of shooting. The wrap party is that night and Dana is surprised
that Peter never mentioned it to her. She figures they'll go to the
party and make plans for how they are going to conduct their long
distance relationship.
Oh, Dana.
Seriously, none of these girls have a
spare brain cell.
Faith compiles an album of all her
shots and shows them to a few people. The make-up artist from
earlier advises her to keep them under lock and key because Yvonne
definitely wouldn't be happy to find out about them. Not sure if
this is a plot point or not, so I mention it.
Shelley finds out it's the last day of
shooting too which means everyone is headed to LA tomorrow. She
pulls Faith aside and confides that she's going to go with Troy and
get a big part in his next movie. Faith is immediately doubtful of
any of this happening and it pisses Shelley off royally.
When Dana gets to the wrap party that
night she finds out that Peter and Pamela are there together. He
tells Dana that she's “a nice girl” (HA! LIES!) but Pamela has
connections through her mother that could further his career. Dana
stomps out angrily.
Meanwhile Shelley discovers that Troy
isn't at the party at all. She goes to his trailer and he opens the
door looking “sleepy”. I'm pretty sure “sleepy” is Kennedy's
way of implying that he's either drunk or high without actually
saying it. Anyway, Shelley asks him about tomorrow and he says he'll
say goodbye but it has to be early because he's flying out before
noon. He makes no mention of her joining him and she realizes he
never really had any intention of taking her with him. She stomps
away angrily.
Shelley and Dana end up in Alison's
room telling her all about those rat fink boys. Faith wanders up
eventually to report her album with all her pictures has been stolen.
Alison miraculously produces it and says she caught Pamela coming
out of 407 with it earlier and rescued it. I'm not sure when this is
supposed to have happened because Pamela was already at the party
when the other girls got there and Dana left the party to go
immediately to Alison and Pamela was still with Peter then. THIS MAKES NO
SENSE, KENNEDY!! Keep your story straight, please. At any rate, the
book pretty abruptly ends at that point. I guess neither Randy nor
Tom will ever find out they were cheated on. AGAIN.
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf
Award: I hated Pamela less than usual but she was pretty shady
through the entire book so I can't really give it to her. I'm going
to hand it to Casey who was barely in the book but definitely wasn't
annoying.
The Bitch of Baker House Award: Faith
gets this one. Her glee over taking pictures that made people look
bad was pretty gross.
Coming Up Next: Canby Hall is in danger
of closing or something and it's probably going to be up to the girls
of 407 to save the day.
#yawn
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