The Roommate and the Cowboy (book 27) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: This is something they never expected!

From the Back of the Book: Who would ever think Jane would feel so at home on the range?  Life on Toby's Texas ranch isn't exactly what Andy and Jane expected - Texas is so big.  And hot.  And Toby's father isn't used to having three teenage girls around.  When Jane meets a handsome young cowboy who keeps teasing her about her city ways, things get more complicated.  Toby wants her roommates to enjoy their visit - but it's beginning to look like the only thing they will enjoy is leaving!  Will she ever be able to make Andy and Jane understand just how wonderful her home on the range can be?

I feel like this blurb is unfair to Andy who was a very gracious house guest.

This book was published in 1988 and it's another one I haven't read. I'm starting to wonder if I stopped at Princess Who or something. I really don't remember any of the ones after. Lynn Zednick is the ghostie this time around. You might remember her from But She's So Cute. I did a quick skim to refresh my memory about Ms Zednick's writing. She had a tendency to have her characters repeat themselves a bit too much but otherwise she was pretty unexceptional – not awful but not great.

My hopes that Toby would get a cover were clearly dashed. There's Jane. Again. AND SHE'S CHEATING ON CARY!!!! I curse her with the fire of a thousand suns. Also, why is she wearing a prom dress when everyone else seems to be in jeans and western shirts? This makes no sense already.

Canby Hall Catch-Up: You guys know the basics. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small town ranch girl). Jane is dating Cary-the-rock-god from the nearby boys' school Oakley Prep. Andy is dating a boy named Matt who is sometimes said to be from the public school in town and sometimes said to be from Oakley Prep. Well, I should say she's dating Matt when she's not dating Steve who works in her family's rib shack. It mostly depends on her geographic location at the time. Toby is dating the ultra-proper Neal from Boston (who happens to be Jane's ex), and crushing on local rancher Randy who has magical aging powers that allow him to be a different age in every book. In the last book, our intrepid girls remained at Canby Hall for the first month of summer break for reasons that are 100% unexplained. They needed summer jobs and pretended to have a decorating firm in order to land a job renovating a house while it's occupants were on vacation. They were to do yardwork, painting, stair repair, carpet cleaning and clean/decorate a sun porch. Things went miserably, naturally, since these girls are qualified to do NONE of those things. Jane and Cary fight. Jane and Andy fight. Jane and the water pipes fight. Penny selflessly gave up the first month of her summer vacation to help (for no pay or recognition) and Jane ended up contracting out the work to some Canby employees who needed extra cash. They made very little profit but who cares because they're such great friends!!!! #hearthands

Those Who Shall Not Be Unnamed: Former 407 residents Dana-the-life-ruiner, Shelley-the-drama-llama and Faith-the-sanctimonious and former housemother-extraordinaire-Alison. Hey, just because they've all moved on doesn't mean we can't worship them at least once every book.

Missing, Presumed Dead: I'm not sure we can do this one, y'all. This book takes place during summer vacation so pretty much everyone is missing.

Risen From the Tulip Bed: Ditto.

We begin with Toby in Texas. It's August which means summer break is nearly over by this time. She's feeling oddly restless considering she's in her favorite place on earth. We also meet her father (name currently unavailable) who seems nice and a ranch hand named Abe who lives in the bunk house. Toby misses Andy and Jane and just the general activity of Canby Hall. She didn't think she'd ever get used to the school, but now that she has, the ranch feels boring.

We hop into Jane's head briefly. She's discontent at home and missing Canby Hall. Then we land in Andy's head for a page and a half. She's working the lunch rush at her parents' restaurant and she, too, is Canby Hall-sick.

Well it makes perfect sense because Canby Hall is the most magical place on the face of the earth. #fuckDisney

Back with Toby, her dad has noticed that she seems down. He suggests that she invite Andy and Jane down to the ranch for a couple of weeks so they can watch her compete in the barrel racing contest at the rodeo. Toby is excited and runs to call them. Andy is first and she isn't sure her parents will want her to go. They've barely seen her that summer and they are counting on her help in the restaurant. When she asks, though, they say yes right away. Jane is also on board and soon the two of them are arriving in Texas.

Toby's dad (he finally gets a name! - Bill) thinks they're an odd trio. Toby is the tallest with Jane almost as tall. Andy comes up to their chins. Which......wouldn't that mean that Toby and Jane are like a foot taller than Andy?? Okay, I measured and from chin to top of head on both me and my manager is about 10”. So Jane and Toby are 10” taller than Andy? Either they are very, very tall or she is very, very short. This is the first we've heard of this height difference. Also....WHAT THE FUCK....look at the cover pictures. THEY'RE THE EXACT SAME HEIGHT.

Jane and Andy are both a little dismayed to see how small the town is. They're worried they won't have enough to keep them occupied for two weeks. Since boredom was their main reason for going, they think they might have jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. They both knew she came from a tiny town and lived on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. They've teased her about it all year. There's no way this is a surprise. Man, this author is even worse at the continuity thing than usual. Why is it so hard for these people?

The next morning Toby takes them on a jeep tour of the ranch. Jane is her usual charming self, complaining internally about Toby's driving, the bumpy roads, the lack of shopping malls and the horrific Texas heat. Toby worries that she's not having much fun but Andy shrugs it off as Jane just being Jane. Truer words were never spoken. There's a strange conversation inserted into the end of the chapter where Jane and Andy marvel at how Toby knows her way around HER OWN RANCH THAT SHE'S LITERALLY LIVED ON FOR HER ENTIRE LIFE and Toby thinking to herself that she's never worried about getting lost. It feels super tacked on and non-organic so I'm sure it won't be important later or anything.

About the only thing Jane is enjoying on the ranch is Abe's cooking. She pretty much just complains about everything else. Andy is interested in meeting a cow, so Abe invites them to ride out and inspect the stock the next morning. Andy is thrilled despite not knowing how to ride a horse. Jane isn't so thrilled but doesn't say anything. Ghostie mentions that Jane hasn't ridden before either which.....#bullshit.....because there's no way someone as privileged as Jane didn't have riding lessons when she was a kid.  (Note from future me: and then this whole thing is useless because they go in a damn jeep and not on horseback at all.  Ghostie, keep track of your story!)

After they eat, Toby suggests they go down to the swimming hole to cool off. Again, Andy is game while our delicate princess is aghast. She doesn't want to get anywhere near the “murky water” but she puts on her suit and joins them. Toby and Andy take turns using the rope swing to jump into the water and generally having a great time. Jane refuses to get in the disgusting water at all and wonders why anyone would want to live in such an awful place.

She's hot and miserable and finally decides to dip her delicate feet in the disease-ridden water. A snake slithers by and she screams and bolts out of the water. Before she can get very far, she runs headfirst into a very large, very cute cowboy. He makes a joke about women swooning at his feet and helps her get her balance again. She's super sweet and grateful.

Nah.

This is JANE we're talking about.

She acts like a total shrew of course. It's what she does best. She's haughty and superior and then pissed when he just laughs at her for being afraid of a tiny, harmless water snake. It turns out Toby knows Beau from way back and he's arrogant and irritating and....well, very Jane-like.

The next morning Jane fakes a headache to get out of going on the cow-meeting-expedition. All she wants to do is sleep in. When she wakes up, however, she's annoyed that they left her alone. She quickly gets bored and hot. She isn't happy with the food selection and can't believe she's expected to make her own sandwich for lunch. Luckily (for her but not him) Bill comes in and gets out the sandwich supplies. Jane turns her nose up at such fare {delicate sniff} and eats half a sandwich only.

After lunch, Bill goes back out to work in the equipment shed and Jane is left to regret all her life choices. She wishes she'd stayed in Boston because at least she wasn't being broiled alive there. She decides to take a walk because that's a logical response to being too hot. While she's standing aimlessly on some grassy knoll, Beau thunders up on his enormous horse.

They talk about Canby and about life after high school. Beau mentions that he'll probably attend college close to home and Jane gets sarcastic and judgey about it. He tells her that his brothers are away at college and if he leaves too,his father will have no help on the ranch. She tells him she has to get back to the house and out of this oppressive heat {delicate sniff} and he offers her a ride back on the horse. On the way, he mentions that he'll be riding bulls in the upcoming rodeo and that there's a dance afterwards. Jane imagines them together at the dance. She thinks briefly of Cary but decides that a summer fling with Beau won't count because it will never amount to anything long-term.

Here we go again.  

Someone shove a thermometer up Jane's ass because I do believe we have..........

Later that night, the girls sit around and talk in their pajamas. Jane is intrigued to learn that there are oil wells on Beau's family's ranch. Toby mentions that oil prices are down and they're not bringing in as much as they did in previous years but Jane dismisses that. She smells some money and she's not going to be dissuaded by world markets or serious boyfriends or committed relationships. Jane tells them about Beau mentioning the dance and Andy's ears perk up. Toby says they'll definitely go but the girls will need some Wranglers and boots first.

The next day they drive into the tiny town of Rio Verde and go to the equally tiny general store. When Jane sees the western-style clothes they offer, her “nose wrinkled in distaste” and she haughtily states that she'd rather skip the dance than wear that trash. Toby persists in trying to find something Jane will accept but Jane turns her nose up at every single thing. Why is ANYONE friends with this person?

Jane finally grabs a shirt and a pair of jeans and heads for the dressing room. She hates the way the jeans are tight at the top and flare out at the bottom. She hates the way the shirt clings to her. She steps out to tell Toby that she needs different sizes and meets the appreciative stare of Beau. He tells her that she looks great and he wouldn't change a thing. She dashes back into the dressing room declaring that all these clothes are stupid and she hopes Beau breaks his neck riding bulls in the rodeo. Because that's the normal reaction a person has when told they look nice.

After lunch Toby frets about how bored the girls seem. They've only been there 5 days out of 14 and even Andy's enthusiasm is flagging a bit. She suggests they go look for arrowheads at the Native American battleground site on the ranch property and Andy is super excited about it. Jane reluctantly deigns to go because she doesn't want to be left behind alone in the house again. Andy finds an arrowhead pretty much right away and Jane becomes excited. She comes from such a historical family that she thinks she's destined to have a piece of history like this. She begins to look around and ends up finding a spearhead because of course she does. Even the Texas section of the universe knows Jane must always get what she wants.

Toby suggests they camp out for the night. Andy is super excited about this and, again, Jane reluctantly agrees because she has major FOMO. They're not going to use a tent or anything. They'll set up air mattresses and an army cot out under the stars. What do you want to bed that the princess gets the cot? Jane is alarmed when they go so far from the house but Toby tells her it won't be camping out if it's in the backyard. They build a campfire and roast marshmallows. Andy asks Toby to tell them a ghost story.

Toby begins to tell them about a woman who lived in a shack nearby. One day she was out walking and she found a tomahawk partially buried in the ground. She carried it home and........it was a decision she would come to regret as they say on Paranormal Witness. Her life became a living hell and she was tormented by the ghost of the Chief who had died holding the tomahawk. Jane is up all night wondering if she'll endure endless torment for digging up the spearhead.

#wecanonlyhope

The next day Jane is groggy and barely able to keep her eyes open. They go up to bed early but then...somehow....a massive pillow fight breaks out. In the midst of the ruckus, an ugly old lamp gets broken. Bill goes up to see what the commotion is and sees the lamp. He asks to talk to Toby out in the hall. Toby isn't sure why he's upset over such an ugly lamp but he explains that he and her mother bought it on their honeymoon and it's a souvenir of their first shopping trip together as a married couple. She feels bad and apologizes. He feels bad for getting upset and reminds her that he's just not used to having so many young people in the house. Andy and Jane feel bad about the whole thing and decide to make Bill a candlelight dinner the next night to make up for it. Because making a candlelight dinner for your friend's dad isn't creepy at all.

Andy decides to make BBQ ribs. She's never done it before and doesn't have a recipe but she thinks she's seen her mom do it often enough that she knows what to do. When they get to the store, though, most of the ingredients she needs aren't available so the girls start substituting other ingredients in.

They get back home and begin preparing the bread and pies for baking. Andy accidentally adds chili powder to the apple pie instead of cinnamon but nobody realizes it. Which. #bullshit Those two things might look similar but smell vastly different. You'd notice if you used the wrong one. Jane finds some cut-glass crystal candle holders and decides to use those for the dinner. I'm betting that they are another precious heirloom that will get ruined.

Toby and Andy decide to try to glue the lamp back together so they leave Jane in charge of the baking bread. She's too hot in the kitchen with the oven on so she steps out onto the back porch, fanning herself with a torn out page of an old cookbook they found in the kitchen. Which again is probably something that belonged to Toby's mom. Sheesh, people. Beau comes up while she's out there and two flirt a bit. Then he starts teasing her about being a city girl and she takes him to task for being prejudiced against Yankees. It's super tedious to read. He invites her to sit a spell and tell him all the ways being a Barrett is superior to being a regular human.

This could take awhile.

Also, it's Jane's favorite topic.

Also, what about the bread?

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE BREAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sure enough, it burns to a complete crisp and is uneatable. Way to go, Jane.

Andy, in turn, burns the ribs and blames it on the fact that the Houston's oven is hotter than her oven in Chicago. So....do these ovens not have temperature controls? Or does one of these ovens have a malfunctioning temperature control? Because otherwise, she should know what temperature the oven is. So we have burned ribs, burned bread and an apple pie made with chili powder.

#yum

Bill and Abe come in for dinner and I feel super sorry for them. They have no idea what they're in for. Sure enough when Bill sees the candle holders, his eyes get very sad. He doesn't say anything, though, and sits down to eat. The ribs are burned, tough and covered with thick, globby sauce. The baked potatoes are still as hard as a rock inside. The only edible thing on the table is the green beans so they all eat a ton of those. Toby brings out the pie and they quickly discover that it is inedible too. Andy bursts into tears and runs outside.

Toby and Jane follow and try to make her feel better but they just make things worse. Seriously, did Jane really think saying “You can't help it things turned out unfit to eat.” would make Andy feel better? Andy yells at them to leave her alone and they go back inside. Bill and Abe are making PBJs so Toby and Jane join them. When Andy peeks inside and sees them all eating sandwiches at the table, she runs crying into the dark night.

Well, this won't turn out badly or anything.

Remember that foreshadowing we almost stepped in earlier?

Toby and Jane discover Andy is missing. They go in and tell Bill and he says he'll get Abe and they'll go out looking. He wants Jane and Toby to stay at the house so one of them doesn't end up getting lost too. Bill and Abe search for a bit but it's a cloudy night and there's no visibility. They realize they'll never find her in the dark and they return to the ranch. Toby and Jane are frantic. No one wants Andy to be outside alone all night so they decide to call in some neighbors to help with the search. Bill and Abe go back out in the Jeep and Toby takes off on Max. Jane is supposed to stay at the house in case Andy returns but Beau shows up and she takes off with him instead.

We hop into Andy's head for a very brief paragraph wherein she's hopelessly lost and hears a rattling sound and thinks there's a snake nearby.

Back at the ranch, time has passed. Jane, Beau and Toby all come back in to check and see if anyone else has found Andy. Jane is upset and begins to cry so Beau holds her close to comfort her. Jane is so attracted to him that she trembles in his arms.

#gag

#emancipateCary

Back with Andy. Sure enough, there's a rattlesnake directly over her head on a rock. Lucky for her, Abe and Bill arrive and shoot it before it can bite her. High drama on the range, y'all. Andy is suitably rescued and all is now well.

We're back with the others. Jane is sleeping in Beau's arms on the porch swing and Toby is sleeping on the porch rocker. Beau is watching for signs of the rescue party. Finally he sees the Jeep come over the hill. The girls are joyfully reunited and the ghostie got 10 pages closer to her required count. Everyone wins!!!!

Later Andy teases Jane about Beau and Jane replies that he's awful. He's the most obstinate ill-mannered boy in the world. Andy replies that he seems just like Jane's type.

For one minute I was all “GO ANDY!!!! YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE!!!!” because I thought it was a dig at Jane. Then I realized it was a dig at Cary and I was all “BITCH, YOU ARE DEAD IN MY EYES!!” Cary is not ill-mannered. I'm not even sure he's all that obstinate. Jane keeps calling him stubborn but the writing rarely bears that out.

The next day, Jane can't get Beau off her mind. She thinks about Cary and how furious she would be if he met someone else over the summer. It's different when it's her, though. She can do what she wants but he has to remain loyal to her. She decides to give him a call, sticking poor Bill with the...bill. Cary is super sweet, asking her how her vacation is going and telling her how much he misses her and wants to see her. As they're saying goodbye, he tells her not to fall in love with any goat ropers because he KNOWS her and he knows she falls in love with any boy who talks to her twice. Jane thinks to herself that she's already fallen in love with Beau. You know....because they've spent SO MUCH time together and she knows him SO well.

The day of the rodeo begins. All the contestants have been warned that #room407cannotbedefeated so Toby wins her event handily. Jane is anxious about Beau's turn on the bull. Unfortunately the rules for room 407 don't apply to the people they date and Beau gets thrown. He hits his head but is fine.  I mean, it's obviously empty to begin with if he picked Jane over the other two.  Jane is in tears over this boy she barely knows.

Since Beau is mildly injured, Jane is sure he won't be at the dance. She doesn't really want to go if he won't be there but she valiantly pushes ahead and puts on her blue sundress. She knows it isn't western but she doesn't care. Personally I can't even bag on that because I think people should always wear what they're comfortable in (as long as it's appropriate obviously).

Andy has a blast at the dance and immediately knows all the steps to the unfamiliar dances because she's just awesome like that. Beau shows up and Jane dreamily dances in his manly arms before they disappear outside to make out. Toby wonders about poor Cary but decides it's none of her business.

#emancipateCary

The next day they all go down to the watering hole for a swim and a picnic. Bill and Abe try to convince Jane to get in the water but she still refuses to sully herself that way. Beau shows up in time to eat. Jane wonders to herself if Cary ever made her feel like Beau and if her heart every raced when Cary looked at her. I want to flip her off and cheer all at the same time. Maybe she'll finally set poor Cary free and he can go find a girlfriend who would actually treat him decently. Like Penny. Or Laura Lee if she wasn't dead and buried in the tulip bed. #momentofsilenceforLauraLee

Beau tells her to make sure her boyfriend back home holds on tight to her because if Beau ever makes it back east, he plans to steal Jane away. TAKE HER PLEASE. Jane is sure she's never loved anyone like she loves Beau and she can barely even remember Cary's face at this point. I seriously can't stand this bitch, y'all.

The book ends as the girls are getting ready to return to their homes. Bill invites them to come stay again the next summer and Toby thinks to herself that they'll all be taking a little bit of Texas home with them.

I didn't even get to #keeponeeyeonMaggieatALLtimes.  I feel so incomplete somehow.

The Least Annoying Person in (Texas) Award: I'm going to give this to Abe because he tried to graciously eat Andy's petrified ribs and he was really patient and sweet with the city-slickers.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: Um....JANE. It's always Jane. I feel like it will always be Jane. She's awful. She's spoiled and entitled and a big fat cheater. I wish she would transfer or drop out or explode or something.

Coming Up Next: It's Jane's 16^th birthday and things aren't going according to plan.

Help Wanted (Book 26) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: They're hired.  And they could be fired.  (Why do these all have such lame tag lines?)

From the Back of the Book: Suddenly it's all work - and no fun!  With a little help from photos of her family's Boston mansion, Jane has gotten the girls of 407 the perfect summer job.  It's getting a big, old house cleaned up, repaired and decorated before the owner's return.  At first the job is interesting and fun.  But as one thing after another goes wrong, from flooded bathrooms to collapsing stairs, Andy and Toby realize this might be too much to handle!  But can they convince Jane that they need help before it's too late?  Is there any way the girls of 407 can get the job done - and remain friends?

For the record: the job was never interesting or fun.  These blurb writers don't even read these things, do they?

This book was published in 1988. It's another one I've never read though the cover looks familiar to me. The ghostie for this one is Carol Ellis. She also wrote Princess Who which was a pretty good book. If I remember right, it had actual continuity and character integrity (meaning they all acted like themselves). I go into this with high hopes.

Toby almost got a cover! My eye actually went to her first for once. It only took a million books to happen! Yay, Toby! I think this cover artist did a pretty good job with their outfits. They're all wearing things I'd expect their characters to wear......except for Jane's shoes. I seriously doubt princess Jane owns a pair of high-top sneakers. Even if she did, I doubt she'd wear them outside of a gym. She's much too proper for that ish. {delicate sniff}

Canby Hall Catch-Up: You guys know the basics. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small town ranch girl). Jane is dating Cary-the-rock-god from the nearby boys' school Oakley Prep. Andy is dating a boy named Matt who is sometimes said to be from the public school in town and sometimes said to be from Oakley Prep. Well, I should say she's dating Matt when she's not dating Steve who works in her family's rib shack. It mostly depends on her geographic location at the time. Toby is dating the ultra-proper Neal from Boston (who happens to be Jane's ex), and crushing on local rancher Randy who has magical aging powers that allow him to be a different age in every book. In the last book, finals were looming at Canby. On top of that, Jane found out she had to write an essay for a literary contest. Reports of the ghost of Julia Canby being seen on campus proved to be very distracting for everyone. Jane became obsessed with reading Julia's diary and Andy became obsessed with trying to manage Jane's time for her. In the end, the “ghost” was revealed to be Gigi and her friend Agnes but we never really found out why they did it. Oh, and Jane won the contest because of course she did.

Those Who Shall Not Be Unnamed: Former 407 residents Dana-the-life-ruiner, Shelley-the-drama-llama and Faith-the-sanctimonious and former housemother-extraordinaire-Alison. Hey, just because they've all moved on doesn't mean we can't worship them at least once every book.

Missing, Presumed Dead: Guys, I think we have to accept that Laura Lee is gone and never coming back. #momentofsilence Also notably missing are Gigi, Agnes, Yolanda and Michael-the-school-shrink.  These absences make sense to the storyline, however, since school is out for the summer.

Risen From the Tulip Bed: Randy is back among the living and he doesn't seem to be eating more brains than usual, so I think he's good.

We begin with Toby walking across campus. It's a beautiful day but no one is outside. School is over for the term and everyone – well, almost everyone - is busy packing to go home. For reasons that are never explained, the girls from 407 along with the 409 girls (Maggie and Dee) and Penny are being allowed to stay an extra month after everyone else goes home. I have no idea why the school is allowing this. The cafeteria will be closed and the staff gone (except Merry-the-second-best-housemother and, I assume, PA-the-head-bitch-in-charge since she lives on campus). The 407 girls are planning to get jobs for the month. Dee and Maggie are also working to help pay for some of their fall tuition.

You know, we're one page in and I have to call #bullshit already. Andy HAS a job. She works in her parent's restaurant. Futhermore her parents are extremely “Andy-sick” for their oldest daughter and barely survived the separation of the school year so there's no way they'd give her permission to stay an extra month.

We get our standard room description (which is NOT the room featured on the cover, by the way) and our paragraph about how the roommates are very different but still great friends. You know....Jane steals painting from her family's art gallery to support her cocaine habit, Andy works the pole at the Boobie Hatch in Greenleaf to put food on the table for the twins and Toby smuggles blood diamonds from Africa in tea bags (which is, omg, why she has one taped to the ceiling!!) but they all come together to drink tea, gossip and knit sweaters for Alaskan puppies with dandruff.

The roommates pour over the Help Wanted ads in the Greenleaf paper but come away disappointed. They're looking for temporary work since they'll be gone in a month and there were only two  temporary jobs listed. One is for a dog walker which Toby decides to apply for. The other is for a “junior captain” at the Greenleaf Inn. Andy tells us it's like a busboy/hostess and she's fairly certain she can handle it with her restaurant background.

The next morning, Andy is up bright and early. The open interviews at the restaurant begin at 9:00 and she wants to be the first one there. We stay in her head through her morning exercises (riveting!) and then hop into Jane's head. She decides to go to the diner in town to have breakfast, hoping she'll see Cary. He teases her about being awake so early and then asks how the job search is going. She tells him it isn't going well and we then take a three sentence hop into Cary's head while he thinks that Jane is smart and capable of doing anything she sets her mind to but doesn't give off the appearance of someone who is serious about menial labor. {delicate sniff}

First: #teamCary. He thinks so positively about that spoiled brat he loves. Second: Ellis, YOU DON'T HOP INTO A RANDOM CHARACTER'S HEAD FOR THREE SENTENCES IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHAPTER.

Cary recommends that Jane go to the employment agency in town because they might be able to point her in the right direction and she's extremely excited about the idea. She rushes home to change into more proper clothes.

Now we're back in Toby's head as she walks up to the dog client's home. She tells us her duties will be walking the five dogs in the morning and evening, grooming them twice a week and scooping poop out of the backyard. When the door opens, Toby is shocked to see that all five dogs are massive. There are two German Shepherds, a Doberman and two large mixed-breeds. They're not very well mannered and their owner, a little old lady, worries that Toby is too “slim” to walk them. Toby says she's been around animals all her life and knows how to handle them and the old lady agrees to give her a chance.

We hop into Andy's head as she awaits her interview. She's padded her resume quite a bit mentioning how she's ordered supplies and managed her father's restaurant. When she's called back, the interviewer questions her about these inflated claims and she admits that she ordered supplies once when her mom had a sore throat and she helped her brother run things for two days when her parents had the flu. The dude is not impressed and Andy is offended. She whines a bit, telling the guy she's more than qualified but he rebuffs her. He tells her the Inn is too amazing to take a chance on an inexperienced kid and sends her on her way.

Now we're with Jane at the employment agency and she's having much the same luck. The employment counselor asks her about her job skills and Jane replies that she writes well and she's good at decorating. She's informed that writing and decorating jobs for 15-year-olds aren't exactly thick on the ground in Greenleaf. Just like Andy, Jane is offended and appalled. Clearly this woman hasn't been given the brief that the 407 girls are to be worshipped and given special favors. Jane leaves the agency in a big huff.

We're back with Toby. Dog walking isn't going well at all. The dogs aren't leash trained and practically drag her to the park. When they get there, Toby ties their leashes to a bench and sits down. She's mumbling to herself about their lack of manners when Randy rocks up. They talk for a moment. She tells him she's supposed to let the dogs run loose for awhile but she's not confident that they'll come back if she does. He offers to stay and help her and she lets the dogs go. Everything goes well for a bit. She and Randy enjoy playing fetch with the dogs. Eventually it's time to go home and Toby calls for the dogs. Four of them come right back and allow her to leash them up. Charlie, one of the german shepherds, uses this opportunity to make a break for it and he jumps the hedge of the dog park.

Toby follows him on foot with the other dogs and Randy follows by truck but Charlie is tricky and easily loses them both. Dejected, Toby heads back to the owner's house. When she gets there, Charlie is sitting on the porch looking smug as hell. The owner is furious and Toby is fired.

The girls all go out for pizza and then head back to the dorms to go to bed. Jane can't sleep, though. The almost-empty dorm is way too quiet for her after an entire year of noise and chaos. She decides to go through the want ads again. This time something catches her eye.

“Family traveling in Europe needs reliable firm to prepare Greenleaf house for homecoming – 3 ½ wks. Clean-up inside & out, some painting, repair work and decorating. For details, write John Higgins, P.O. Box 721, Greenleaf.”

Jane decides then and there that the firm of “Barrett, Cord and Houston” are going to apply for the job. She tells her roommates about it over breakfast at the diner and is amazed when they don't jump up and down at the idea. Toby points out sensibly that taking care of a whole house is a big job and they're not really qualified for it. Jane gives them a huge pep talk, and when that doesn't work she calls them chicken. They reluctantly agree to at least check it out. Cary wanders over and Jane fills him in. He's skeptical because he isn't an idiot but supportive because he's awesome. He thinks they should rename their “firm”, though, because it sounds like a law office. He suggests 407, Inc.

That evening, Jane drafts a letter to John Higgins from 407, Inc. She includes a couple of pictures from her Boston home, saying that she was instrumental in their decoration. Which....#bullshit. She probably picked out a pillow or something and now she considers herself an interior designer.

Two mornings later, Higgins calls the “firm”. He sets up an interview for later that day. Toby and Andy wait in the diner while Jane goes to Higgins' office. While they're waiting, Randy comes in. He invites them all to come out to the ranch that afternoon for a ride. Toby is thrilled. Andy is cautious. She isn't much of a rider.  They never actually seem to go on this ride so I have no idea what the point of these paragraphs was.

Jane finally returns with the news they've been hired. (#bullshit) They've been given a $1500 advance and will be paid the remaining $1500 when the job is done. They have to use some of the money to buy the supplies they need though. They have to paint a living room, shampoo the carpets, fix some stairs up to an outside deck and then decorate and furnish a sun porch. I don't think they're going to have a fortune left over, but they're all pretty excited about it. They decide to go check it out right away. Randy and Cary tag along.

When they get to the house, they discover it's enormous. The room they're supposed to paint is massive and covered with dark, forest green paint. Randy points out that it's going to take several cans of paint to even do the entire room and they'll probably have to do several coats to cover the dark color. There are a ton of rugs in the house and the sunporch they're supposed to decorate and furnish is much bigger that they expected. It's going to be a huge amount of work. Everyone is surprised that Jane took the job after seeing the house and that's when she admits she took the job without seeing the house. Both guys think the girls are over their heads and in this case they aren't being sexist. Just sensible. Jane is determined to see it through and won't listen to any dissent.

They start with the yard the next morning. It hasn't been touched since the previous summer and there are tons of limbs and things down. They spend the entire morning hauling brush to a pile at the end of the driveway. PA drives by and sees what they're doing. She stops to tell them that they'll be fined if they leave it there. They're going to have to pay someone to haul it off. Jane suggests they move the pile to a spot not visible from the street and deal with it later. By the time they do that, they're hot, sweaty and tired.

They take a lunch break at the diner where they run into Dee, Maggie and Penny. Jane keeps insisting that everything is going fine and the job is perfect for them.

The next morning things get off to a really bad start. Toby is severely sunburned and Andy can barely move her arms. Jane's back is stiff and sore and she's not moving too fast either. It's pouring down rain so they can't finish the yard work. The decide to shampoo the upstairs rugs and clear out the sunporch. Randy helps them rent the shampooer and then lugs it upstairs for them before he heads back to his ranch. Toby decides to tackle the rugs while Andy and Jane go to move the boxes out of the sunporch. To their horror, the boxes are filled with bricks.

The carpet shampooer goes psycho on Toby and ends up covering her from head to toe in blue soap before dying a noisy death. She gets cleaned up and then Penny surprises them by arriving with a picnic. She joins them for lunch on the covered deck and then offers to stay and help out a bit. Jane bristles. This is her job and she doesn't Penny around mucking things up. She tells Penny she can't help and Andy is furious. They need all the help they can get. The two argue for a bit but Toby is on Andy's side and Jane is outvoted. She relents and grants Penny permission to help them out.

A week passes and they've barely made progress. Jane is starting to worry. She's frustrated that she can't find quality decorating materials in Greenleaf and she writes her mother asking for a catalog from the design house they used to do their own sunporch. She seriously has no concept of money. I bet it's entirely gone by the time they're finished. But the owners will probably be so happy with their work that they'll give them a huge bonus. (#prediction) She takes the morning off to mail the letter and then order the supplies they'll need to paint the living room. When she returns to the house she discovers another catastrophe. Penny, Toby and Andy were headed up to the deck to sweep or something and Andy's foot went right through one of the stairs.

Andy is trapped, unable to pull her foot free because of the wood cutting into her leg. Jane gives her a scarf to work between her skin and the wood and Andy is eventually able to free herself. Andy is scraped and badly bruised but otherwise okay.

Another week passes. They manage to finish the yard but they're all pretty panicked about getting the rest down in time. On painting day, they're irritable and snapping at each other. Andy's leg hurts, Toby is coming down with a bad cold and Jane is having to admit to herself that she bit off WAY more than she could chew.

#YouTHINK?

Luckily for them, Cary, Maggie and Dee all have the exact same day off work (#carryingcoincidenceaTADtoofar) and they come to help along with Penny. Many hands make light work and they get the first coat on before lunch. They estimate it will take at least two more before the green is adequately covered. They're making so much progress that Andy decides she's going to take the next day off. Matt is coming to visit for one day only and she doesn't want to make him sit and watch her work all day. Naturally she doesn't tell Jane or Toby about this decision.

Meanwhile, Toby is getting sicker and sicker. She can't even talk at this point and she feels awful.

Jane sits with Cary under a tree in the yard to have lunch. He tries to be encouraging but realistic and she gets pissed as usual because he isn't bowing down in awe of her. (#emancipateCary) He tells her that she's stressing herself out too much and invites her to come with him to Boston the next day. He's visiting his family and going to listen to a symphony. She yells that he's the worst, most unsupportive boyfriend in the world because a supportive boyfriend would know that she can't take the day off when her reputation is on the line. She also accuses him of purposely trying to sabotage her and make her job harder.

#getoveryourself #thisdoesn'tbodewellforAndy

Cary decides to go home at that point. Can't say I blame him. I wish he'd save himself and run far, far away.

Andy never does tell her roommates that she's taking the day off. The next morning she gets up early to meet Matt's train. When she gets back from the showers, Jane's awake. She tells Jane that Matt is arriving soon. Jane comments that she hopes he won't be too bored and then says he can always pitch in and work with them. Andy tells her that she's taking the day off and.............

The ensuing screaming match wakes up Toby (and probably Dee, Maggie and Penny). Andy won't be cowed and she leaves, determined to enjoy the day with Matt. Jane resigns herself to a crew of Toby and Penny. Unfortunately Toby is much, much worse and running a fever. Merry is summoned and she takes Toby to go see a doctor. Toby is diagnosed with strep throat and given some antibiotics. Unfortunately she's going to have to spend a couple days in bed.

Jane's bad day gets worse. When she gets to the house she discovers a pipe has burst in the upstairs bathroom causing extensive damage to that room and the room below. She gets the water turned off and then heads for Higgins' office to tell him he needs to hire a plumber and someone to repair the floor/ceiling. Higgins is unhappy with her. He stopped by the house the previous evening and discovered how little work has been accomplished. She reassures him that they house will be handled and then she leaves.

Meanwhile, Andy is feeling heaps guilty about leaving off for the day. She fills Matt in on the situation and he graciously offers to go with her to the house so they can put some work in. By the time they arrive, Jane is back and Penny has shown up. Penny is really being a good friend here because the work is hard, the hours are long and she's not getting paid at all.

#TeamPenny

Things are looking bleak. The job is over in a week and there's no way that they'll be able to complete it on time. But this is Canby Hall and everything MUST turn out perfectly for the residents of 407 so a Deus ex Machina appears right on schedule. In a stunning.....and let's face it unrealistic and unbelievable....stroke of good luck, Jane hears from Merry that the school handyman and his sons are looking for odd jobs in order to make extra money over the summer. Jane can hire them and still clear a little money. All is well!!!!!!!!!!!

The house gets finished and Jane and Cary make up. He apologizes for not being sensitive to her sudden work ethic and she apologizes for acting like herself. With a massive amount of help from Cary, Randy, Penny, Dee and Maggie, 407 Inc has pulled off the impossible.

Was there ever any doubt?

The last book disappointed me with it's lack of cheesy ending line. This book delivered.

“Taking a last look at the house as they reached a curve in the drive, the three roommates realied ther were rich – not in money but in friendship.”

The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: This goes to Penny. She sacrificed her entire month of leisure to do hard labor for little recognition and no pay. She is a much better person than the rest of them.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: I'm giving this to Jane for her blow-up at Cary and at Andy. The way she treats Cary is deplorable and I can't believe the writers think this is okay.

Coming up Next: An unexpected romance blooms when Andy and Jane visit Toby at her ranch in Texas. Does this mean Toby is finally getting a cover??? Also, neither Andy nor Jane are single and romance should definitely NOT be blooming. #fuckfidelity

The Ghost of Canby Hall (Book 25) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language."

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: No one believes in ghosts - do they?

From the Back of the Book: Has Julia Canby come back?  Jane knows she's seen the ghost of 13-year-old Julia Canby, in whose memory Canby Hall was founded long ago.  Toby thinks Jane could be right.  Andy is disgusted with both her roommates.  Ghosts?  Impossible!  No such thing!  Then other people begin to see the mysterious figure in the old-fashioned clothes - including Toby.  And Andy.  Has Julia Canby returned to haunt the school?  With exams ahead, and Jane's essay for the Literature Award competition due, the last thing anyone needs is a distraction, especially a supernatural one.  Can Andy get her roommates to agree to work together to solve the mystery of the ghost of Canby Hall?

That blurb is a mess as always.  Andy was never disgusted with Toby and Julia was 14, not 13 when she died.

This book was published in 1987 and I have never read this one. In fact, I don't think I was even aware of its existence Ordinarily I'd be excited to read one of these for the first time, but the ghostie for this book is Diane Hoh. Sigh. She shows up a lot on my other blog and other recappers seem to absolutely love her but I just....don't. Why? Why did it have to be Hoh? It's just not fair!!!!!

Before we begin, we should talk about this cover. Who does this effing bedroom belong to? Because it's not 407. The walls are the wrong color, the bedspreads aren't right, the position of the beds is all wrong and that window should not be in that spot. I suppose I should give the cover artists credit for not having Toby in a huge shadow for once. You know, like the one that's eating Andy. But even though Toby is the only character standing...and should therefore be the prominent one....my eye goes straight to Jane. I think she's better lit or something. Why do these cover artists love Jane so much?  

Canby Hall Catch-Up: You guys know the basics. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small town ranch girl). Jane is dating Cary-the-rock-god from the nearby boys' school Oakley Prep. Andy is dating a boy named Matt who is sometimes said to be from the public school in town and sometimes said to be from Oakley Prep. Well, I should say she's dating Matt when she's not dating Steve who works in her family's rib shack. It mostly depends on her geographic location at the time. Toby is dating the ultra-proper Neal from Boston (who happens to be Jane's ex), and crushing on local rancher Randy who has magical aging powers that allow him to be a different age in every book. In the last book, the 407 girls were tasked with showing a legitimate princess around Canby Hall. It turned out that HRH Princess Allegra was a pretty chill chick who just wanted to be a regular girl for awhile. This involved eating cafeteria food and watching the girls study for finals. Riveting. It also involved falling in love with the magical Randy and enlisting the help of the student body to escape her bodyguards so that she and Randy could make out with each other's faces in private. Allegra was betrothed to an old man in her own country, so she and Randy were destined for heartache but the girls of 407 stepped in and convinced her to fight for her right to marry for love. AND THE GIRLS OF 407 MUST BE FUCKING OBEYED. Oh, and Andy had some kind of super important audition for an advanced dance class being held during the fall term which she rocked, of course, because the 407 girls are universally worshiped for everything they do.

Those Who Shall Not Be Unnamed: Former 407 residents Dana-the-life-ruiner, Shelley-the-drama-llama and Faith-the-sanctimonious and former housemother-extraordinaire-Alison. Hey, just because they've all moved on doesn't mean we can't worship them at least once every book.

Missing, Presumed Dead: Laura Lee and Yolanda are still buried in the garden, as is Michael-the-school-shrink.  To my complete surprise, Randy is 99.9% absent from this book and I fear there might be a fresh mound of dirt somewhere on campus.  His name is uttered once when Toby thinks of inviting him somewhere but decides to ask Neal instead (probably because a decomposing rancher at dinner would raise too many questions).  Other than that.....nothing.  These books are scary without Randy.  For what it's worth, Allegra is probably pushing up the tulips as well.  No one talks about her at all this book.  She was the subject of the entire thing last time and you'd think someone would at least mention her in passing.  It's like the last book never existed.

Risen From the Tulip Bed:  No one is resurrected this book.

We begin with Toby and Jane walking across campus, rhapsodizing about early spring in Massachusetts.....which confuses me. Several books ago, they held the Almost SUMMER Carnival and last book they were studying for finals. Which, by all rights, should be taking place in May. It's been spring for a very long time now. So why are the trees just beginning to bud?

#fuckcontinuity

We get the standard paragraph about how the roommates are all very different. Toby likes the outdoors, Jane likes being a shrew, Andy likes judging them all, but they all come together when there's a body to bury in the tulip bed. You know, the usual. Andy is waiting for them in the cafeteria and musing about how Jane is always late. She supposes it's because Jane thinks the world revolves around her and that's a pretty astute observation but a bitchy one to make about your best friend.

Jane and Toby finally arrive and they all get in line to get their food. I was waiting for the standard paragraph about how awful the food is in this expensive, exclusive private school (#Istillcallbullshit) but it doesn't come. Weird. Penny shows up, though, and announces that she, Jane and Gigi are up for some literary award. It's nice to see Gigi in the land of the living again. The award will be given at some banquet that the entire student body attends and Jane immediately fantasizes about being the star of the night.

When the girls get back to Baker House, there's a note tacked to the door from their housemother Merrie. All it says is “I dropped by to say Hi” which makes me wonder what the point of it even was. Why go to all the trouble of finding paper, a pin and a tack just to write “I dropped by to say Hi”???? The girls decide to put off studying for finals for awhile so they can go upstairs to Merrie's room and return the hi. When they get there, they find Merrie in the following outfit:

“She was wearing a beige skirt unbuttoned down the front over white shorts and a white t-shirt.”

What the actual fuck?

First of all, I can't even figure out the skirt unbuttoned down the front part. How the hell does it stay on? And why the hell does a skirt even button down the front? Maybe the better question is, why is Merrie wearing a t-shirt UNDER her skirt? Is she topless above? THIS OUTFIT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it possible it was a typo and Hoh meant she was wearing a beige SHIRT unbuttoned down the front? I'm so confused.

Anyway, Merrie tells them that an estate in England just gifted Canby Hall with some items that once belonged to Julia Canby. Julia is the reason that the school is named Canby Hall. She died tragically at the age of 14 from a fever and her father went on to found the school in her memory. Merrie hasn't actually seen the items but she thinks they include a music box and a diary. The items are displayed in the library for everyone to see.

The girls are less than enthusiastic and Merrie is puzzled by their disinterest. I guess she forgot these girls don't give a flying fox about anything that doesn't directly involve them. Toby sees Merrie's disappointment and says they'll check everything out when they go to the library to study. They head back downstairs and Andy is extremely put out that Merrie didn't congratulate Jane on the lit award nomination. For no reason that I can determine, Jane then snaps at Andy and says Merrie can't play favorites. Way to escalate things for no reason, Hoh.

#creatingdramawherenoneexists

The girls reach the library where a small crowd is gathered around the exhibit. Toby is fascinated by the porcelain music box with the painting of an ice skater on the top. It plays a song called the Skater's Waltz which everyone seems to recognize right off the bat. I looked it up and I DID recognize parts of it but not enough to actually identify it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirn3M3ewQc

There you go. I'm a full-service recapper.

Jane is fascinated by the diary and asks the librarian if she can take it to a quiet corner to read. The librarian gives her permission because there's no one else in the exhibit (where a small crowd had been just a few sentences before - what the hell, Hoh?) but she tells Jane that if anyone else comes in, she'll need to share the diary. This enrages Jane who “feels a strong sense of ownership toward the diary”. You know, the diary she doesn't actually own? The one that belongs to the school?

#entitledmuch?

Jane quickly settles in with the diary and we're treated to a few entries. It seems Julia, at the tender age of 14, is resentful that she's being treated like a child.  She's also resentful about someone named Mathilde who is preventing her from having fun.  And her father for taking her to London away from her friends.  So basically she just resents everyone and everything.  Sounds like she'd fit right in with our protagonists.

At dinner that night, everyone is congratulating Penny and Jane on their lit award nominations but no one is congratulating Gigi. She gets mad and swears that the other two won't win. Andy is concerned by the “threat” even though it didn't sound threatening at all. I guess Hoh wants us to think it's threatening so she had one of her characters comment on it. SHOW DON'T TELL, HOH.

#writing101

Jane and Andy then get in a bizarre fight. Andy wants to call Oakley Prep and see what the guys are up to. Jane doesn't want to get distracted by Cary's “gorgeous smile” and says she needs to study. Andy is furious and asks her if she's really going to study or if she's just going to read some dumb old diary all night. Jane tells Andy that she (Andy) got the lowest score in room 407 on the history midterm so maybe she should spend a little time reading historical documents herself. Then she stomps away.

What the fuck was that?

#dumbestreasonforafightever

Andy asks Toby to do something fun with her but Toby says she has to go back to the room to study for her geometry final. Andy calls Matt and asks him to a movie but he also declines in order to study. For some inexplicable reason, all this rejection makes her stare deeply at a painting of Julia hanging in Baker House. She tries to imagine what Julia was thinking and feeling as she sat for the portrait. Probably the same thing I'm thinking and feeling........ “this is mind-numbingly boring”. As she stares at the painting, the figure seems to wink at her. I suppose this is meant to be suspenseful and spooky but Hoh makes a mash of it.

Later they're all back in their room. Toby and Andy are studying, but Jane is reading some copies she made of the diary pages. For some reason, Jane being so obsessed with the diary seems to be a bee up Andy's butt. She won't drop the subject and spends several paragraphs berating Jane for being so useless. I can't figure out why this matters so much to either of them. Jane says that it's fun reading a diary written by a girl just like her. I'm not sure how she concluded that Julia Canby was just like her, but okay. Andy's behavior is a bigger mystery, though. Why should she care if Jane enjoys reading the diary? This affects her life in NO WAY WHATSOEVER.

Toby and Andy eventually fall asleep but Jane stays up with the pages late into the night. When she finally does decide to turn out her light and get some sleep, she suddenly hears “The Skater's Waltz” playing from somewhere in Baker House. She immediately assumes that someone has the music box in Baker and she's puzzled because it isn't supposed to leave the library. I suppose this is reasonable because clearly there can only be one thing in the entire world that could possibly play that song.

#wearen'tidiotsHoh     #butyourcharacterssureare

The next morning is somehow Sunday. Not sure how that happened. Jane asks her roommates what they're going to be doing that day. Andy says she's going to blackmail Matt into coming over to study with her by telling him if he doesn't, she'll tell the entire campus he only has to shave twice a week. Dumbest threat ever. Jane asks Toby if she wants to go to the library with her and Andy immediately says in a “warning tone” that she hopes Jane isn't going to spend all day with the diary. Jane replies that she intends to study but she doesn't intend to spend the whole day studying and Andy replies “grumpily” that she should. She secretly hopes that the exhibit will be busy so Jane won't even be able to read the diary.

What IS this? It makes no sense that Andy would be so upset with this. It's starting to come across as if Andy thinks people can only care about the things she cares about and if they care about something else she's going to tell them over and over how wrong they are. Which.....isn't so unbelievable really if you think about it but I really doubt that was the aim here. We're just going to hashtag this so I can quit saying it over and over.

#thismakesnosense    #Andy'swayorthehighway

At breakfast they meet up with Maggie (#oneeyeonMaggieatALLtimes) and Dee from next door and the adorable Penny. Dee asks if they heard the waltz music late last night and Penny confirms that she did. Jane says nothing but she's surprised that anyone else heard it. After all, it's only the 407 girls that special things happen to and the entire campus should know this.

Andy meets up with Matt after and gives him a long, bitchy speech about how ridiculous Jane and Toby (who is fascinated with the music box) are acting. She wants him to agree with her but he points out that Andy is a person who lives solidly in the present. She doesn't worry about the future and she doesn't care about the past. Toby and Jane just have a “stronger sense of history” than she does. Andy is furious. In her head she actually thinks that he wasn't supposed to find the logic in the situation and point it out, he was supposed to agree with her point of view. 

Wow.

I definitely think there's going to be a Bitch of Baker House this book.

Matt is reasonable for a few more paragraphs and Andy reluctantly agrees to stop nagging Jane about the diary IF she starts making time to study. Because Andy is the boss of Jane, dontchaknow, and therefore in charge of how Jane manages her time. She tells Matt that “dummies” aren't allowed in Baker House so Jane best get her fucking act together.

We switch to Jane who is reading the diary in the library. The entries are full of whine about how Julia is isolated from her peers and not allowed to socialize with anyone. Mathilde is there to make sure she doesn't talk to anyone when they're out and about. Jane puts the diary back and reads some of the letters. They describe a popular, fun Julia who is missed by her friends in America. None of this is interesting at all. This entire book is a throwaway I think.

Jane leaves the library, intending to get some studying done. On her way back to the house, she sees someone dressed like Julia walking out by the pond.  The figure disappears into the woods before she can get closer.  Jane is startled.

It's totally Gigi, isn't it? She's “haunting” Jane so that Jane will be too distracted to worry about winning the lit award.

Later that evening when they're all studying in room 407, Toby mentions that Merrie told Maggie and Dee that the nominees for the lit award will have to write an essay. It can be about any topic they want. I'm not sure WHY Merrie told Maggie and Dee and not the actual nominees, but whatever, Hoh. Jane immediately says she'll do her essay over the diary and Andy blows her top. She demands that Jane pick another topic because she's sick to death of hearing about “the dumb old book”. Jane refuses to back down and Andy seethes because clearly she's the best person to decide what Jane writes about.

That night, after everyone else is asleep, Andy hears the music box music.

The next day Andy calls Cary. She's sure he will take her side and order Jane to stop reading the diary. Cary, bless his soul, does not. He tells Andy that he's happy Jane has found something she cares about deeply and he thinks it's cool that she's interested in something that no one else seems to care about. Andy tries to plant “seeds of doubt” in his mind by saying that Jane doesn't care about him anymore and she doesn't want to spend any time with him now. It's pure evil. What the hell?

#thismakesnosense    #Andy'swayorthehighway

Oh! And #teamCaryalldayeveryday

Andy is fuming as she crosses campus to go to class. She can't believe that Cary isn't on his way to the library right this minute to “yank Jane out of the past”. Why can't they see that her way is the ONLY FUCKING WAY and anyone who disagrees is a complete idiot? As she's walking she sees a figure dressed in Victorian clothes walking across the lawn. She immediately assumes it's Gigi.....which means my theory must be wrong, dang it.....and starts yelling. She tells Gigi to stop being a bitch and the figure laughs at her before vanishing. When I first read this, I thought Hoh meant it vanished in thin air, but Andy doesn't react to it at all and she still thinks it's Gigi so the figure must have just walked away.

Andy turns the corner and runs right into Gigi who is dressed in her regular clothes and shows no signs of having been a fake Julia just seconds before. Sigh. Disappointing. I was so sure I was onto something.

Later Andy decides to find Toby and tell her what she saw. Toby is a reasonable human being and has a unique way of looking at things, so Andy feels like Toby will be able to explain away the ghost. Before she can even mention it, Toby tells her that other girls have been seeing the ghost of Julia around the pond in recent days. Andy begs Toby not to tell Jane because she doesn't want Jane's obsession with Julia to grow but Toby reasonably points out that the entire campus is talking about it and Jane probably already knows.

Back in room 407, the girls are joined by Dee and Maggie. Jane does, indeed, know about the ghost and she reveals that she saw it the day before. Andy gets huffy and tells Jane that she can't believe a smart girl like her is falling for a stupid joke. Never mind that Andy actually saw the “ghost” too. She doesn't bother to mention that little fact as she tears Jane apart. Andy is so unlikable in this book, y'all.

Andy makes a brief visit to Oakley where she gripes to Matt for awhile. Matt recognizes that she's gone to the dark side and he's unsure how to get her back so he resolves to just support her the best he can until she returns to normal. I like Matt. He deserves better than Andy. Andy drags Matt and Cary back to campus. She's still hoping that Cary will tell Jane to snap out of it. Instead, Cary is amazing because of course he is. He tells Jane that he doesn't know if ghosts are real but he believes she saw what she saw. He has a very open mind about the entire thing and points out that no one understands everything about the world. I heart Cary. Both these boys need better girlfriends.

It's page 71 before we take our first head-hop into Toby's brain. Jane and Andy have been monopolizing this book in their usual self-centered fashion. Toby is taking a walk by the pond before returning to her studies. She sees the “ghost” in the trees and tries to talk to it but it just runs away. She goes back to the room to wait for her roommates. As soon as they return, she tells them about seeing Julia. Jane is intrigued but Andy continues to insist that it's someone playing a prank. As much as it pains me to say this, I agree with Andy on this one. Not that I don't believe in ghosts because I've seen them myself, but this definitely feels like a student prank.

While they're arguing, the music begins to play again. This time Andy decides she's going to track down where it's coming from. Unfortunately, tracking it down is easier said than done. When she gets into the hall, she realizes that the place it can be heard the best is just outside 407. Still she knocks on all the 4^th floor doors and inspects the hallway for speakers or wires. She finds nothing.

The next day, Jane, Penny and Gigi are summoned into Merrie's room. She tells them that the winner of the lit award will be determined by essay contest. They have to turn in a ten-page essay in one week. This really seems inhumane considering they are supposed to be preparing for finals and probably have projects due in other classes as well. I think I'd say “thanks but no thanks” to this award and just get on with my life. Jane, however, feels like she needs to win the award for room 407 because Toby and Andy are counting on her to bring home the glory.

They keep changing how they spell “Merry/Merrie” by the way. One ghostie does it one way and another does it the other. I can't keep up.

When Jane gets back to her room, Andy tells her that they're all going out for pizza with Cary and Matt. Jane doesn't want to go. Now that she has to write this essay, she really needs to stop doing frivolous things like eating and sleeping. Andy won't take no for an answer which makes NO DAMN SENSE since she's been nagging at Jane all fucking book to get to work.

The group goes to Pizza Pete's where Matt spills the beans about Andy having seen the ghost. Jane is incensed. Here Andy's been making fun of her when she saw it for herself. Andy defends herself by saying that what she saw was a person in a costume but Jane is not mollified. Cary asks why Andy didn't bother to mention she'd seen it when she was trying to convince him to talk Jane out of having seen it. That's it for Jane. She starts yelling and banging on the table at this point. The people at Pizza Pete's must just be loving this. I hope they have popcorn.

Andy jumps up from the table and dramatically announces that she's leaving. She grabs Matt's arm and literally yanks him from the chair, telling him that he's leaving too. He actually doesn't want to, but he also can't let her walk back to the campus by herself, so he reluctantly leaves with her. This is supposed to be late spring, almost summer, at dinnertime. There's no way it's dark yet. She'd be fine walking back to campus by herself. But he cares for her and he's a gentleman so I'll give him a pass for being spineless in this case.

After dinner, Jane goes to the library to read more of the diary. She justifies it in her own mind as being research for her award essay. The last entry tells of a boy bringing Julia violets but her father getting mad and ordering him away. Julia mentions feeling hot and achy and Jane knows it's because she's already contracted the illness that killed her. She's sad after reading it. The ghost appears outside the library and Jane tries to chase it down but loses sight of it. When she gets back to her room, there's a tiny bouquet of violets on her bed.

Dun dun dun.

Jane immediately accuses Andy of leaving the flowers as some sort of dumb prank. Andy denies involvement and points out that she hasn't read the diary and didn't know about the connection between Julia and violets. This is reasonable but Jane doesn't care. The two of the trade insults at a high volume until Jane stomps back out of the room. Andy tells Toby that she's going to get to the bottom of this. There's a joint study day between Oakley and Canby that Andy planned for Saturday. Andy tells Toby that she's going to skip her own study party to try to track down the flowers. Toby offers to help her because she just wants the campus to go back to normal.

On Saturday, the two girls visit the floral shop in Greenleaf to see if someone remembers selling violets to a student. The florist remembers the bouquet because it was such an old-fashioned thing to order. She can't tell them a name, though, because the girl paid in cash. She describes the girl as tall and thin with long dark hair. Not super helpful, really, since, as Andy points out, it could be about anyone wearing a wig.

We hop to Jane who is sitting out on the lawn with the other study session participants. They're bitching about finals and talking about the ghost when Gigi walks out of the main building with a tall, thin girl with long dark hair. Subtle, Hoh. Verrrrrrry subtle. I mean, I didn't make a connection AT ALL with the person just described at the floral shop. How could I? Your writing is too complex and deep to give anything like that away. Someone asks who the girl is and Jane says it's Agnes as if we're all supposed to know who the fuck Agnes is. Dee distractedly chimes in that Agnes and Gigi have been hanging out a lot together recently.

Jane wonders if Agnes could be the person pretending to be the ghost but Dee says there were a couple of occasions where the ghost was seen but Agnes was somewhere else. So clearly, the two of them are in this together.

Back in 407 that evening, things are tense as the girls study. Jane is resentful because Andy isn't pissed off at Toby for seeing the ghost. The music begins to play and again it is louder in front of 407 than anywhere else. Andy is convinced someone hid a tape recorder in the room and she wants to search every square inch. This just pisses Jane off because Andy won't accept that the cause is paranormal. You know....despite the fact that Jane herself just wondered if Agnes was the ghost. I guess it's okay for Jane but not for Andy. These girls are EXHAUSTING.

Jane refuses to let Andy search her side of the room and the two bicker loudly about it. In the meantime, the music stops. Andy gives up her idea of a search and they lapse into tense silence again.

Andy decides to tail Gigi the next day. The first hour or so is pretty boring as Gigi runs errands around campus. Then she heads to Baker House and goes into Anges' room. Andy watches as Gigi begins making mysterious trips to the broom closet. Girls often use the broom closet as a private place to cry but (1) Gigi is not upset and (2) Gigi doesn't even live in Baker House and could just go home if she was. Andy wonders why Gigi is spending so much time in the broom closet of Baker House.

After Gigi leaves, Andy methodically searches the broom closet. She finds the tape recorder loaded with a recording of The Skater's Waltz, the “Julia” clothes and a wig. She knows she can't prove that Gigi is the one who put it there since every girl in Baker uses the broom closet but she's determined to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all. Later she tells Jane and Toby what she found. Jane gets upset. She accuses Andy of being smug and overly pleased with herself and then she storms out of the room.

Toby follows Jane out and Andy takes advantage of the quiet room to think about her next move. She decides to sabotage Gigi's tape recorder. She replaces the tape of the Skater's Waltz with a rock tape and turns the volume up high. She isn't sure where Gigi normally hides the tape recorder but she's still hopeful to catch Gigi in the act later.

After dinner, Andy hides behind a potted plant in the hall. Yeah, you read that right. The hall is crowded with lots of people going to and fro and yet no one notices Andy Cord hiding behind a potted plant. She watches the hall for awhile and then sees Gigi coming out of Agnes' room. Gigi goes to the mail slot just outside 407 and puts an envelope inside. Then she runs away. Seconds later, loud rock music comes blasting from the mail slot. Andy realizes Gigi must have wedged the tape recorder in the slot earlier in the day and then used the pretense of mailing a letter to push the play button.

Gigi rushes back to the mail slot as soon as the music begins and then other girls start pouring into the hall. Gigi pretends to discover the tape recorder and plays it off like she isn't involved. Andy starts hurling accusations at her and Gigi begins hurling them right back, accusing Andy of being behind the music. Then Gigi changes tactics and says that maybe the ghost has been using the tape recorder. Andy scoffs because how the hell would Julia even know what a tape recorder was, let alone how to use it? But the other girls want to keep their resident ghost and they accept Gigi's story immediately. Andy is disgusted and goes back to her room.

When Jane and Toby come in, Andy is sure Jane is going to take Gigi's side. Instead, Jane apologizes for not listening to Andy before and says they need to find a way to prove Gigi is behind the haunting. Unfortunately they have no idea how to do that.

The next day Jane and Penny are excused from their lit classes to go to the library to work on their essays. Penny is in a panic because she has no idea what to write about. She asks Jane for a suggested and, at first, Jane is irritated and angry at the interruption of her own work. Then she realizes that she's lucky to have friends and not live the lonely life that Julia lived, and she brainstorms a bit with Penny. Penny ends up deciding on an essay about mass hysteria and the ghost sightings around campus. Jane gets to work on her own essay, focusing on the tragic loneliness and short life of Julia Canby. As she works, she cries.

Andy decides to test out a theory after her own classes. She goes to the drama department and asks if they ever used a maroon dress and black cloak like the ghost has been appearing in. Sure enough, they used it the year before in a play. Andy asks to see it and the costume keeper takes her back to the storage area. unsurprisingly, the dress and cloak are missing.

In a clandestine meeting in room 407 later, Andy, Jane, Toby, Dee and Maggie put their heads together to come up with a plan. Ideas range from putting glue in the wig to putting spiders in the dress. This is a real braintrust, y'all. Andy says they need to set Gigi up and force her to confess. Then she puts her head to the others and whispers her plan out of our hearing. All we know is that Jane says it's a terrific plan which probably means it's hella dumb.

It's hella dumb.

I don't even want to recap it.

You suck, Hoh.

So the BIG PLAN is that a taped recording will play over the loud speaker during dinner while Gigi is in attendance. Andy tapes it, disguising her voice.

“Gigi? Gigi Norton? I wish to speak to Gigi Norton please.”

…... “You will think this strange, I know, Gigi Norton, but I feel a strong kinship to you, and felt the need to speak directly to you just this once. We do look a bit alike, do we not? Perhaps you are the sister I always wished for but never had. I want you to know that I, too, get lonely and wish for companionship. I have spent many lonely afternoons in London, sitting on the windowseat in my room, watching the rain stream down the window.”

“Julia” goes on to say that she understands loneliness because she didn't have many friends. If she'd had friends, she would have been sure to treat them with kindness. Then she ends with this.

“I must go now, Gigi. You are a special person. Remember....be kind....be kind.....”

Well, that's fucking awful.

Gigi flips out. She says the recording wasn't her this time. Andy pounces on that and smugly asks Gigi if she's the one who has been haunting the school and Gigi just admits it.

So dumb.

Mind-numbingly dumb.

On what planet would this actually work?

Thus, the A plot concludes. I have no idea what Gigi's end game was in this.  Why did she haunt the school?  What purpose did it serve?  Hoh doesn't bother to tell us.  The girls decide not to turn Gigi into the administration because now everyone hates her and that's punishment enough.

The B plot gets wrapped up on the next page. To no one's actual surprise, Jane wins the lit award.

#407can'tbebeat     #room407worshipalldayeveryday

At the formal dinner, Jane is super nervous about having to give a speech and read part of her essay. Cary calms her right down. He says she'll be fine because she's strong and she's smart and she won the award because she deserved it and worked hard to get it. He's just.....awesome.

The last line of the book comes after Jane gets up and begins her speech. Do you want to hear the profound sentiment that Hoh leaves us with?

Are you sure? This could affect you deeply, you know.

Okay, you asked for it.

“The audience sat quietly, listening.”

Yep, folks. That's how the book ended.

You REALLY suck, Hoh.

The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: Cary was awesome but he really didn't get much play here. I'm award this one to Matt. He was kind and supportive to Andy without getting sucked into her crazy. He deserves so much better.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: This has to go to Andy. She was so inexplicably judgmental of Jane and how Jane was choosing to manage her time. It was none of her damn business and it doesn't even make sense that she was angry about Jane being interested in the history of the school and Julia's life.

Coming up Next: Jane talks Toby and Andy into taking a crazy summer job. Wait.......didn't we read this one already???????