Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them did.
Tag Line: Who said three is a crowd?From the Back of the Book: Who is the real Mac McAllister? Dana is in love...again, with Mac, a gorgeous boy in town. Shelley and Faith are happy for Dana, at least at first, but there's something a little odd about Mac. Why doesn't he ever remember Dana's friends after he meets them? Why does he forget where he and Dana are supposed to go on a date? Is he just very absent-minded? One night, when Faith and Shelley see Mac with Pamela, when he's supposed to be with Dana, they start to wonder. Mac seems to be a boy with a secret, and the roommates want to find out what it is. When they do, Dana is in for the biggest surprise of her life.
((((Um....Faith and Shelley never caught Mac with Pamela.)))
This book was published in 1985 and this is my first time reading it. The ghostie for this book was Barbara B. Hiller.
We've encountered this one before. She also ghosted for Friends
Times Three and Here Comes the Bridesmaid in the
Andy/Jane/Toby series. I'm pretty sure we've come across her in the
other blog too but I might be making that up.
The cover of this book presents the
girls in their true form – stupid clowns. They should be forced to
walk around like that all the time so everyone would know to stay
away from them. My only real comment about the artwork is that the
makeup looks really poorly done. Then again, Shelley is doing it so
that might not be a mistake on the artist's part.
Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the
drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated
fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley
(small-town farm girl). Faith is dating Johnny the future
police officer from town and Shelley is still stringing along her
hometown boyfriend Paul while dating Tom at the same
time. Dana is....complicated. I think she and Randy are just
being friends right now but who the hell knows? In the last book,
the entirety of Baker House (with the exception of Pamela)
agreed to tell the truth for 48 hours. Our girls were originally
smug about it and then discovered that they lie a lot more than they
thought. PA suffered a minor medical emergency and the
cafeteria decided to start serving pizza. It was riveting.
Missing, Presumed Dead: There was a massive massacre in this book y'all. Sheff, Terry, Michael, Johnny, Tom, Ginny and Elizabeth are all absent from these pages. I fear Shelley finally lost it and went on a rampage. At least the tulips are well fertilized.
Risen from the Tulip Bed: Everyone was
present and accounted for last book so there were no zombies to
resurrect.
We begin with Faith in the darkroom
printing photographs. It's spring and she is thinking about the
summer internship with a newspaper in Washington DC that she wants to
apply for. She needs to submit a portfolio soon to be considered and
she's trying to get everything just perfect. On her way back to
Baker House she runs into Pamela. Pamela seems more friendly than
usual and tells Faith that she's madly in love. Faith thinks to
herself that it's a miracle that anyone could love Pamela but doesn't
spare anymore brain power toward it even though Pamela never named
her boo.
Faith gets back to 407 in time for the
ghostie to remind us that Gale is still firmly attached to
Shelley. Why are they all so obsessed with Gale? Are they trying to
make Shelley more relatable? Because it isn't working. As a bonus,
ghostie tells us that Shelley's face needs some work too and that's
just savage.
Faith tells them about the summer
internship and then asks if someone will go to town with her tomorrow
to pick out a portfolio to put the pictures in. Shelley has a
biology lab and Dana has apparently agreed to babysit for her Latin
teacher's son, Lester. Welcome to the series, Lester. Don't
get comfortable. I'm sure you'll be choking on dirt and worms soon.
The next day, Dana is bitten by spring
fever. She decides she needs to do something outdoors with the 💫magical💫 boy she's been stringing along. She calls Randy to ask if he
wants to do something after she finishes babysitting Lester but he
tells her he's too busy. She notices how distracted and apathetic he
sounds and she's a little butthurt about it. She actually tells us
that she can't imagine that he has anything to do that's more
important than her.
#Danacandie
I seriously hope Randy isn't the one Pamela is in love with. That would suck. He deserves better.
Dana is still fuming as she goes to Mr
James' house to babysit Lester. They have a dog named Tuff chained
to a tree in the front yard and he keeps getting all tangled up. At
one point he gets the chain wrapped around his neck and all of his
struggles just make it worse. Dana can't get close enough to free
him because he's agitated and snapping at her. She finally waves
down a neighbor who is out mowing his grass.
Neighbor, naturally is gorgeous. He
has a “soft, reassuring voice” that soothes both Dana and the
poor dog. He's able to get the chain from around the dog's neck and
then introduces himself as Mac McAllister. Which clearly
isn't his real first name. Maybe she should ask him for his real
first name. She invites him in for snacks and they flirt a lot. He
eventually gets her digits and leaves.
We skip ahead two days and Shelley and
Faith are already very tired of hearing about Mac because Dana cannot
shut up about him. Faith is still ensconced in her photography
portfolio for the internship and can't spare many fucks for Dana's
newest victim. Shelley also has a project on her mind – making
their costumes for the upcoming “costume dance”.
Seriously??? Costume dance? What a stupid name. And why a costume
dance in the spring? None of this makes sense, Hiller. Anyway,
Shelley wants them to be clowns which just seems extremely fitting to
me. I approve.
Dana and Shelley walk to town to look
at fabric and makeup for the costumes. They are also going to check
out Friedland's (((??? never heard of it in my life))) to see if there are any
portfolios in stock that Faith might be able to use. On their way, they run into Pamela. She asks what they're up to and when she hears
the part about Friedland's, she gets super cagey. (((Maybe it's because it never existed before today???))) She tells them she
was just there and the place is a wreck because they are
understaffed. When this doesn't seem to deter them, she claims
there's a gas leak in the neighborhood and it's dangerous. Clearly
she doesn't want the two of them to go to Friedland's. They are
super suspicious but forget about it two seconds later.
They complete their first two errands
and then head for Friedland's. To their surprise, Mac is there
looking at some kind of clamp. He doesn't seem to recognize Dana but
quickly plays it off. Dana decides that he was just distracted by
his errands and doesn't find it weird. She also doesn't connect the
Pamela thing with Mac's presence in the store which is just an idiot
move.
Faith, meanwhile, is still sorting
pictures for her application. One of the categories is “portrait”
so she asks Allison to model for it. For some reason the super
helpful housemother extraordinaire turns her down and suggests that
Faith take a picture of PA instead. Faith is a little intimidated to
even approach the head bitch in charge with a request like that but
Allison really encourages her to think about it. We never really
find out why Allison wouldn't help. I'm guessing she's in the
witness protection program. She was probably the mistress of a mafia
don and now the feds are keeping her hidden so she can help bring him
down once and for all.
#thingsIwishweretrue
Faith also needs a “human interest”
photo. Shelley suggests the drama club but Faith wants something
that's not related to the school since so many of her photographs
revolve around Canby. Dana says Faith should get some shots of
Lester. She's pretty sure Mr James would agree to trade photos of
Lester for free babysitting. Faith figures this is as good an idea
as any and books the gig.
Dana has volunteered to babysit for
Lester again herself hoping to run into Mac. He's not outside
when she gets there and she's super disappointed. Not too long after
her arrival, however, his mom sends him over to borrow eggs and flour
for something she's baking. They flirt a bit more and Mac asks her
on a date the next night.
We skip to the next night. Mac takes
Dan to the Hamburger Shop which has literally not existed in
Greenleaf EVER. What is going on with ghostie just inserting all these new places into a town we've spent 16 books in? Not only have these two places never existed before, they never exist again. Were they just pop ups that disappeared overnight or what?
#fuckcontinuity
After dinner, where they have a
riveting discussion about the Yankees vs the Red Sox, Dana suggests
they go bowling. A fun time is had by all. When bowling finishes,
Mac suggests they go to Pizza Pete's. Um.......they JUST ate at the
hamburger place. Either they were bowling for a fucking long time or
they're going to eat dinner twice???? Pay attention to your story,
Hiller.
#itsnotthathard #that'swhatshesaid
Pamela is at Pizza Pete's and she's
instantly upset when she sees Dana with Mac. It's pretty evident to
anyone reading with an IQ over 3 that Mac is the boy that Pamela is
madly in love with. Mac, however, seems to disagree since he acts
like he has no clue who Pamela even is. Pamela marches right up and
says that she expected better of him and he's hella confused.
I'm sure you guys guessed this from
reading the back blurb already but Mac is definitely an identical
twin. Hiller doesn't tell us that. She's assuming that we're
fucking idiots. But it's SO OBVIOUS.
Dana and Mac leave right after Pamela
because they already ate hamburgers and weren't hungry for pizza in
the first place. He drives her back to campus and they kiss
goodnight. He asks her on a second date and she says she wants to
see The Pride of the Yankees. I guess it's playing at that retro theater in town that definitely does exist.
We skip ahead a day or two. Faith is
making Shelley and Dana crazy with all her requests to look over her
photographs. She's constantly asking them to help her pick a photo
for a particular category and then arguing with them about their
choices because she knows better. If she knows better, why is she
asking them at all??? She has her photos spread all over the room
which is annoying Shelley who is trying to sew their costumes. Faith
even demands that Shelley clear off her own bed for more photos which
pisses Shelley off royally. Faith is angry that her roommates aren't
more enthusiastic about helping her and angry that they aren't making
her project their priority.
Dana tells the girls about running into
Pamela at Pizza Pete's and Shelley is the only one to put together
the fact that “Mac” is obviously dating Pamela too. It's a sad,
sad day when Shelley is the brains of the group, y'all. Dana ignores
this and makes excuses because she's in 💖LOVE💖. Again. Sigh.
The next weekend, “Mac” arrives for
their date only he doesn't seem to remember where they're going. He
also doesn't remember their exceedingly riveting conversation about
the Yankees vs the Red Sox. Dana just assumes he's been busy with
school because Dana is a massive fucking spoon. They barely get
seated in the theater when “Mac” excuses himself. Dana assumes
he's going to the bathroom but he doesn't come back for 25 minutes.
He says there was a long line for popcorn which makes no sense
because they already had their popcorn. Why would he need to buy
more?
Back at the dorm later, Shelley tells
Dana that she and Faith saw “Mac” downtown during the time period
that he was supposed to be at the movie with Dana. She immediately
makes an excuse saying that the theater must have been out of popcorn
so “Mac” must have driven to the Soda Shoppe to get some more.
In what universe does this make ANY sense. I didn't realize Dana was
this stupid. This is a new low.
The next day, Pamela announces to Dana
that “Mac” called her and asked her out for Wednesday. Dana just
chooses not to believe this because Pamela is a lying liar who lies.
Faith goes to Lester's house to take
photographs. She gets some great ones of him on the swing but the
McAllister's laundry line is in the background of the shots which
makes them unusable. She has to make arrangements to reshoot them.
Shelley looks at the pictures and notices that there's two of every
article of clothing. She proposes that “Mac” might actually be
twins and Dana finally has an epiphany. Again, when Shelley is the
only one to have a clue, the world is in trouble.
Dana decides to test the theory when
“Mac” calls next. She feeds him a bunch of lies about things he
said and did on their last date and he doesn't contradict any of
them. She's crushed when she realizes that Shelley's theory is
probably true. The girls come up with a plan to get revenge on “Mac”
and I'm sure it will involve stupid costumes because all their
“Amazing Plans” involve stupid costumes. Does anyone remember
when they dressed up as gorillas to get back at Bret who has
been under the tulips so fucking long he must be dust by now? Or
when Dana dressed up like Chewbacca or something to apologize to
Terry who is currently residing right beside Bret under the
ground?
On Saturday, “Mac” arrives to take
Dana to the symphony and she tells us that he is clearly
“thunderstruck” by her beauty. “She was a naturally
beautiful and graceful girl, but the addition of a smashing outfit,
including the elegant silver of the fox fur and the residual glow
from her run, made Dana even more striking than usual.”
Um.....doesn't “residual glow from her run” mean she's all
sweaty? How does that make her more beautiful than usual?
The fox fur is on loan from Casey, by
the way. I hope PETA doesn't catch wind of it.
As soon as he picks her up, “Mac”
says that he forgot the tickets on his dresser and he has to go back
to his house for them. This is so dumb. Why bother picking her up
only to switch immediately after? There's really no reason for this
other than they're being dicks.
Dana sets their plan into action. She
mentions to “Mac” that Pamela is still obsessed with him and that
she'll be going to the costume dance as a clown. Dana knows that
Pamela isn't going at all so she's not worried about Pamela ruining
their #brilliant plan. Which includes pretending to be Pamela apparently. Dana lies
and tells him that she won't be able to go to the dance at all,
knowing he'll feel safe to go be with Pamela and know he won't be
caught by Dana.
A week passes. Shelley has the
costumes finished and Faith has mailed off her application so things
are wrapped up on everything but “Mac”. Keith has done
some detective work and discovered that “Mac” is definitely a set
of identical twins named Harold and Malcolm. They go by Hal
and Mal. I'm glad Keith isn't under the ground. I was
starting to worry.
The 407 girls all dress up as clowns,
using make-up, wigs and gloves to look identical. You know, except
for the fact that Dana is so much taller and Shelley is so much
chubbier. I guess those costumes are magic. They go to the dance
separately because they're all pretending to be Pamela. Dana finds a
“Mac” dressed as a magician and asks him to dance. She's
speaking in whispers, pretending to have a cold, so “Mac” won't
be suspicious that Pamela's voice is different tonight. Meanwhile,
Shelley finds the other “Mac” and flirts him out onto the
terrace, also in whispers. Casey appears on the terrace dressed as a
painter and accidentally swipes “Mac” with paint, marking his
cape. Now they can tell the twins apart even though this really
doesn't prove necessary or relevant at any point in the evening.
From here on, it's just a bunch of
idiotic changing of places on everyone's part. The “Mac”s change
places. The clowns change places. It's stupid and meaningless. I
guess they are aiming to make the boys feel stupid but I really think
just confronting them would have been much more effective, less
stupid and a lot easier. Dana, Faith and Shelley continuously meet
in the bathroom to congratulate each other on their cleverness too
which is just dumb. I bet both boys think “Pamela” has some sort
of intestinal problem.
Dana eventually goes home, cleans off
the make up and changes out of the costume. She goes to Pamela's
room and asks her to come to the cafeteria so they can talk things
out. For some reason, Pamela agrees to this. I think she thought
Dana was just going to give up and she wanted to gloat about it.
Shelley and Faith lead both “Mac”s to the cafeteria as well and
there's a big reveal that stuns poor Pamela so much she almost
faints.
The “Mac”s realize they've been
caught but they don't seem to recognize that they've done anything
wrong. They think it's hilarious and actually laugh at how they
tricked both Dana and Pamela. It's really disgusting. No apology is
offered and Dana just eventually leaves the cafeteria entirely.
Later they congratulate each other on their success but what did they
succeed at really? Neither Hal nor Mal were bothered at all by their
little charade. The only one they truly upset was Pamela because
they didn't bother to clue her in beforehand in private so she
wouldn't be so gobsmacked by the entire thing. She was actually
innocent in this and I feel bad for her embarrassment. What revenge
did Dana get exactly? I'm confused.
The book ends by telling us that Faith
got her internship because of course she did.
#allhailroom407
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: I'm giving this to Pamela because the 407 girls humiliated her in a cafeteria full of people for absolutely no reason whatsoever. She was being nice to them all book long and they're just bitches.
The Bitch of Baker House: This goes to Faith for being so fucking self-absorbed and assuming her project meant as much to everyone as it meant to her. No one cares, Faith. No one.
Coming up Next: We've reached the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Somehow graduation day is approaching even though this book ended in the spring of their junior year. Either the series just ignored that we all KNOW they're in their junior year and they're trying to pretend they're in their senior year or we're just going to skip ahead an entire year. Stay tuned to find out which.
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