Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them did.
Tag Line: When things get tough...From the Back of the Book: What are best friends for? Shelley, Faith and Dana volunteer to work at the local hospital. It's a big responsibility but each of the roommates is worried about something else - Shelley with the upcoming spring play tryouts; Faith with the possibility of a new romance; and Dana with the news of a new student at Canby Hall who might not be so welcome. With all these problems, will the girls remember to turn to each other, not on each other?
***I'm going to be up front with y'all. I'm half asleep as I post this. It's probably full of errors. Just pretend they don't exist. You know, like the dust bunnies under your bed.***
This book was published in 1985 and
this is my first time reading it. The ghostie for this book is Julie
Garwood which is definitely a name you would recognize if you read
historical romance novels in the late 80's. I'm pretty sure my
grandma had a few of her books and I know I've read at least one. So
I'm hoping the writing will be much better in this book. Don't let
me down, Garwood. I'm counting on you.
The cover is okay. It makes Dana look
much thicker than Shelley so maybe Gale has found a new host. Also,
I'm glad Shelley is in a hospital because she's clearly been in some
kind of freakish accident that completely obliterated her neck.
Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the
drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated
fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley
(small-town farm girl). This is the part where I usually mention
their boyfriends but after
the last book, Shelley may be the only one still actively dating (Tom
from town, not her one-true-love Paul
back home). In the last book, three boys (Keith,
Sheff and Terry) were admitted into Canby on a trial
basis. Dana immediately fell for Terry and broke up with the 💫magical💫 Randy in order to facilitate her new romance. The only
problem was that Terry had a girlfriend back home and was completely
and hilariously uninterested in Dana. Faith also had a crises as she
fell for Sheff but then she realized that she had to change pretty
much everything about herself in order for him to be attracted to
her. Her boyfriend, Johnny found out and broke it off with
her but the end of the book made it sound like they might have a
chance at getting back together. Also, Casey started dating
Keith and they are sweet and cute together.
Missing, Presumed Dead: Michael the guidance counselor and Randy were not even mentioned in passing in this book. I fear they are well and truly dead now.
Risen From the Tulip Bed: Ginny was mentioned, but not seen. So maybe she's just half out of the tulip bed? Like she's just a head sticking up out of the ground/
We begin with Faith and Casey early on
a Sunday morning. Faith has been out in the snow trying to take
pictures of any hint of spring she can find. Casey is up early to
hit the sign up sheets in the Admin building. Apparently one of the
social studies teachers does a thing every year where his students
can sign up for 6 weeks of community service instead of taking the
final. The sign ups are first come, first served so students like to
get there early so they don't get stuck with a crap job for 6 weeks.
Casey is waiting on Keith in the lobby so they can sign up together
and work the same place.
Faith isn't sure she even wants to sign
up. She has so much to do with her school work and her work as a
photographer for the paper that she thinks just taking the final
instead might be the better idea. Casey tells her that there's a
reason this little “pet project” gets 100% participation from the
students – the final is hellishly hard. I have no idea how she
knows this. If 100% of the students participate every single year,
that means no one ever takes the final and therefore no one could
know how hard it was. But she manages to scare Faith enough that
Faith decides to go up to 407 and wake up her roommates so they can
go sign up together.
It takes them more than half an hour to
get their asses in gear. As they walk over, they pass Casey and
Keith who are heading back. Keith tells them that most of the spots
are already gone. When they get there, the only two assignments that
have enough room for all three of them are the hospital and the local
vet office. They decide that they'd be more comfortable with the
hospital so that's what they sign up for. It's not the most time
consuming assignment – from eight to noon on Saturday mornings.
As they walk back toward the cafeteria
for breakfast, the B-Plot emerges. The spring play is coming up and
Shelley is convinced that she is definitely going to get the lead.
Her roommates aren't so sure and worried that she'll be disappointed.
Ghostie gives us three pages of review
about the girls and their families at this point. I'm going to skip
recapping it because we know it all already.
Later that night, Dana's mother calls.
She tells Dana that her little sister Maggie will be coming to
Canby the next year, clearly expecting Dana to be excited at the idea
of having to #keeponeeyeonMaggieatALLtimes but Dana has the opposite
reaction. She's angry and upset at the idea of having Maggie on
campus with her. She immediately thinks to herself that she's going
to have to do something to stop it from happening because there's no
way her sister can be in the same school as her. It would ruin
everything.
#Danacandie
I thought this was just a throw-away
conversation but the way Dana continues to obsess over it makes me
think we might actually have our first ever C-Plot. Weird. After a
book or two where barely anything happened, this one is really
throwing things at us. Maybe it's because they finally have a
ghostie who can handle multiple storylines at once.
Shelley, meanwhile, is having fantasies
about the auditions for the spring play. She's certain she'll do
such an amazing job that she'll get a standing ovation (at an
AUDITION) and Tom will hand her a dozen roses “in appreciation
for her magnificent performance”. She doesn't even know what
play they're doing yet but she's sure she and Tom will get the
leading roles. I forgot that Canby uses Greenleaf and Oakley
students to play the male roles in their plays.
Okay, y'all, we've just been hit with a
D-plot and I'm flummoxed. This has never ever happened before and I
don't know how I feel about it. Apparently some of the parents have
requested that Canby adopt school uniforms. I'm actually surprised
this wasn't a thing before since boarding schools usually do this.
Or at least television shows and movies about boarding schools have
led me to believe that they usually do this. Apparently PA
(head bitch in charge) is going to pick out three different uniform
styles. Each dorm will nominate one girl to test out the uniform and
that unlucky girl will be forced to wear the uniform for a month. I
have NO idea why this would be necessary. At the end of the month,
everyone will decide which uniform they like the best. Casey
suggests they nominate Pamela for the “honor” of wearing
the uniform for a month and the other two practically rub their hands
together in glee at the thought.
Chapter three brings us a few
paragraphs of Dana fretting about Maggie and the C-plot👭 while
simultaneously talking to Faith about the D-plot💂 uniforms until
Shelley walks up blathering about the B-plot💬 play. It's a lot in
just a few paragraphs but it's handled so well that I barely bat an
eye. The play is called “Spring Fancy” and it's a rom
com. There's one song in the opening act because apparently we need
some kind of plot device here to throw an obstacle in Shelley's way.
Shelley can't sing for ish but she doesn't let that deter her. She
assures her roommates that she has the lead “sewn
up” despite the pesky song.
The girls of Baker House gather in the
lounge to discuss the D-plot💂 some more and vote for the girl that
they want to be stuck in the uniform for a month. Pamela does not
attend this meeting. Everyone except Terry and Keith vote for Pamela
to wear the uniform. Terry and Keith vote for Sheff to be stuck in
the skirt and knee socks or whatever it will be. Alison
(housemother extraordinaire) asks one of the girls to track down
Pamela and bring her to the lounge so she can learn her fate. Pamela
goes full-Karen on everyone, screaming that she'll get Alison fired
and then stomps off to speak to the manager or something.
With the D-plot💂 handled for now, the
girls go back to discussing the C-plot👭. Shelley, who loves and
misses her family, can't understand why Dana doesn't want Maggie
around so Dana tries to explain it. She tells Shelley that she's
always been responsible for looking out for Maggie and she's had to
#keeponeeyeonMaggieatALLtimes for her entire life. She's enjoyed
being at Canby where the only person she's responsible for is
herself. I get that. I felt the same way when I first went to
college and I didn't have to look after my sister anymore. Shelley
doesn't get this at all and calls Dana selfish. The two of them
argue until Faith puts a stop to it. She tells Shelley that Dana has
the right to her own feelings and just because they aren't the same
as Shelley's doesn't make them wrong. Then she tells Dana to stop
worrying about something that might not even happen.
Suddenly it's Friday and Shelley is
getting ready for her date with Tom by writing a letter to her
boyfriend-back-home Paul. Interesting preparatory methods she has.
She casually mentions to Dana that her skirt feels tight in the waist
so I guess Gale is back even though Shelley looks smaller than
Dana on the cover. Shelley decides that she and Tom can mail the
letter to Paul on their way to dinner and this seems like an
appropriate thing to her. She muses that having two boyfriends is
perfect for her because it means she doesn't have to choose which one
likes her best. Paul is also seeing other people but Tom is faithful
to Shelley. She says it's because he'd never want to date anyone
else because the two of them are so perfect together. Then why do
YOU need to date someone else?
#Shelleyisinsufferable
Faith has a date with Johnny. This
book doesn't waste any time telling us how they managed to patch
their relationship back together or anything because #fuckcontinuity.
It doesn't even bother to mention that they broke up in the last
book. There was a brief mention of Faith having a short crush on
Sheff but nothing about how that caused her to cheat on her
boyfriend. I guess we're just ignoring that happened. Dana is also
catching a movie with Terry who definitely has a girlfriend back home
that probably wouldn't appreciate him hanging around with a girl who
tried to get into his pants a book ago.
We make to to chapter five before the
A-plot😷 reemerges. It's finally Saturday morning and the girls have
to get up at 6:00 to get ready in time and walk to the hospital in
Greenleaf. Terry has also signed up to volunteer at the hospital and
he walks with them, keeping them company on the chilly morning. When
they get to the hospital, the coordinator (a patient advocate) gives
them their assignments. Terry will be in x-ray and occasionally
pediatrics. Shelley will be working the “gift cart”
whatever that is. Dana will be helping out the dietitian and Faith
will be helping the coordinator herself.
Mrs D (the coordinator) takes
Faith to her office to store her purse and coat and then hands her a
lab coat to wear so she'll look more professional. Then they head
out to see their first patient. He's complaining that he didn't get
enough breakfast so, instead of calling down to the kitchen or
whatever, Mrs D sends Faith on foot to get him another tray. A “tall
black man” in a lab coat gets on the elevator with her and
Faith instantly gets a tongue boner and can't talk because he's so
gorgeous. He says his name is Frank and he's working an ER
rotation which means he's at LEAST ten years older than Faith who is
very, very underage. I really hope we never see him again because
this feels very scummy to me.
Faith manages to get through the rest
of her day without committing any felonies. (((Note from not so
future me: I looked up whether statutory was a felony or misdemeanor
in Massachusetts because I'm a full-service blogger like that. In
the actual statute it says: “Statutory rape (defined as sexual
activity with a person too young to consent legally by the way) of
any person under 18 who is “of chaste life” is also a
felony offense.” So it's only a felony if the victim is a virgin
at the time? What if he/she/they isn't? Then is it a misdemeanor or
a free pass? I couldn't find a quick answer and I just got bored so
we may never know.))) She meets back up with Dana who tells her that
Shelley will be meeting them in the cafeteria for lunch. They go to
tell Terry and find him in the process of taking a young patient back
from x-ray to the ER. When Faith hears this, she immediately offers
to go with him because she's hoping to find Dr Statutory....I mean
Frank....again.
She and Terry run into Frank and Terry
is filled with questions about medical school and ER things. He
invites Frank to eat with them and Faith is thrilled but also a
little upset because she wants all of Frank's attention for herself.
They all catch up over lunch and compare details about their
assignments while waiting for Frank to join them (he had to “wrap
an ankle” first). Shelley basically sold juice, magazines and
candy bars from a little cart as an extension of the gift shop. Dana
was totally brainwashed by the dietitian and starta telling them all
how horribly they eat and how she's going to “balance their diets”
for them. Sounds charming. Frank finally arrives and, again, Faith
is irritated that she can't have him all to herself. Terry
monopolizes the conversation with more shop talk because I guess
maybe he's thinking about going pre-med in college.
They all go back to Canby and resurrect
the B-plot💬 for us as Shelley tries super hard to learn how to sing.
There's a little improvement with practice but she's still pretty
awful. Auditions come and sure enough, a girl named Elizabeth
gets the part Shelley was sure was hers. Shelley is forced to be
Elizabeth's understudy which probably means she didn't get any other
part either. So much for having it sewn up. Shelley immediately
bursts into tears right in front of the rest of the people
auditioning and then runs out forcing Tom to run after her.
Professional.
A few days pass and Dana is extremely
fed up with Shelley's constant crying. Faith is trying to be a
little more understanding but even she thinks it's been excessive.
Apparently Shelley finds being an understudy to a freshman to be
highly humiliating. One afternoon, Faith steers them away from the
B-plot💬 to remind them that the C-plot👭 exists. Shelley immediately
comes down hard on Dana telling her how ridiculous it is that Dana's
upset about Maggie coming to Canby and that she should be old enough
to handle her disappointment in a mature way.
#hypocritethynameisShelley
#potmeetkettle
Dana fucking loses it. She yells that
Shelley definitely isn't handling her disappointment in a mature way
since all she's done is cry like a baby. Shelley yells that it's
different because the play is the most important thing in the world
to her. Dana counters with the fact her independence is the most
important thing in the world to her and it will be threatened if she
has to spend a year looking after Maggie. Shelley doesn't budge,
insisting that she's right to be upset but Dana isn't and Dana ends
up storming out of the room.
We skip ahead to Friday. Faith tells
us that she's the only level-headed, responsible, clear-thinking
member of 407 which isn't sanctimonious at all. \\sarcasm font//
Then, just to prove her fucking wrong, she gets a phone call from
Frank. He says he remembered she was a photographer and he wondered
if she'd be willing to take some photos of him at the hospital after
her volunteer shift. He says his mother wants them. Baby's first
stethoscope and all. Faith agrees and gets all starry eyed and
butterfly-ish about it. He tells her that he'll take her to dinner
for payment which is just incredibly stupid of a man in his position
to do. Unless he's planning to also bring his mother. Or wife. Or
Faith's mother. ANYONE. This is just ridiculous.
Johnny arrives to take Faith on a date
and she finds herself confused during the evening because she can't
possibly “feel warm and excited about two men at once”.
First of all, sweetie, Johnny is still a boy. Second of all, you're
apparently forgetting the last book when you felt all “warm and
excited” about Sheff and Johnny at the same time.
#fuckcontinuity
This is why you shouldn't have
different authors for every book. There's no continuity at all. It's frustrating.
Faith and Johnny end up at Pizza Pete's
because of course they do. Faith sees Tom and Elizabeth sharing a
booth together and immediately gets suspicious. See, it's okay for
Shelley, Faith and Dana to have two boyfriends at once but their
boyfriends can only date them. Tom doesn't see them because he only
has eyes for Elizabeth. They're holding hands all through their
dinner and when they leave he puts his arm around her. Faith is
shocked and upset.
When she gets back to the dorm, she
tells Dana instead of Shelley. Dana begs her to wait one more day
before saying anything because Shelley just now stopped crying about
the play. Dana doesn't want her to start again over Tom. She
figures everyone needs one night of peace. Meanwhile, Tom has told
Shelley that they need to talk the next day too. So I'm guessing
Saturday isn't going to be a good day for our drama llama.
The next morning comes and Shelley is
in a disturbingly good mood. The way she switches from the highest
highs to the lowest lows so quickly is a little concerning to be
honest. Volunteering goes pretty uneventfully for the girls. Terry,
however is worried that something might be wrong with his eyes after
he helps out a little boy who just had eye surgery. Last week he
thought he might have tonsillitis despite the fact he had no tonsils.
I think Terry might have some Mystery Diagnosis Syndrome going on
here. You know, like when you watch the show and then imagine that
you have every disease that's depicted? He's picking up every
disease he hears about while volunteering.
Faith takes Frank's pictures. She's
planning to make two sets and keep one of them like some kind of
creeper. She doesn't tell him this, of course. He repeats his offer
to pay her with dinner out and they settle on the next Saturday
evening. She'll have his pictures developed by then and can deliver
them.
Faith finally clues Shelley in to the
Tom/Elizabeth situation and Shelley reacts just as you think she
would – sobbing, dramatic wailing and crying out to the heavens
that Tom could never love anyone but her. It's exhausting to read
and I have no idea how Faith was even able to walk home after that.
Shelley gets back to Canby and immediately calls Tom. She tells him
that she wants to talk to him and he says he'll come over in about an
hour and they'll go for a walk.
Before Shelley can say anything on
their walk, Tom admits that he went out with Elizabeth the night
before and that he's going out with her again that night. He says he
still cares for Shelley but Elizabeth is sweet and nice and
different. Clearly even Tom knows that Shelley is none of those
things. She gets pissed and says that they agreed not to date other
people. You know, other than Paul. And Randy. And that guy on the
beach in Ft Lauderdale. And.....I can't even keep track anymore.
Tom says that he still wants to see Shelley, he just wants to see
Elizabeth too. Like Shelley's doing with him and Paul. But she
isn't into that and just goes stomping off.
We skip ahead to Monday and find
ourselves revisiting the D-plot💂. Pamela is forced to wear the first
uniform choice and she's madder than a wet hen about it. I can't
blame her. It's a brown and white pleated skirt, a long-sleeved
white blouse and a brown vest. It sounds super hideous. I keep
picturing different variations of what a brown and white pleated
skirt might look like and none of them are good. Pamela is miserable
and the little masochists of 407 enjoy it immensely because they're
all about getting off on other people's pain.
After that, we go back to our C-plot👭.
Dana finally goes to talk to Alison (housemother extraordinaire)
about the Maggie situation. Alison suggests calling Maggie and
inviting her up to Canby for a weekend. Then she and Dana can talk
about Dana's concerns and come up with some solutions maybe. Dana
thinks this is brilliant and then heads back to 407 to lay down the
law.
She informs her roommates that things
are going to change around here. Shelley in particular needs to
“change her attitude” and start acting happy no matter how
she feels. Shelley reasonably points out that Dana has no right to
tell her what to do and that she should be able to feel whatever
she's feeling when she's in her own dorm room. Dana pretty much
tells her she's wrong. Dana can tell her what to do because she
“cares about her” and Shelley is just going to have to
accept that no one in that room gives a damn about her real feelings.
They want her to just act fine so they don't have to recognize the
fact that she isn't fine. Super helpful. \\sarcasm font//
#Danacandie
The week passes and Shelley is
completely miserable but doing what Dana demanded and pretending to
be fine. It's eating her up inside because that's what happens when
you suppress your true feelings like that. Shelley is going to get
an ulcer and it will be all Dana's fault. At play practice Friday
evening, Elizabeth throws a little diva tantrum and stomps off the
stage. I'm sure ghostie isn't setting up a situation where Elizabeth
will get replaced because of her attitude or anything.
#sigh
Tom comes up to Shelley after practice
and asks her if she wants to go out that evening. Shelley says no
because she knows she's Tom's second choice and that doesn't make her
very happy. Then she gets home and yells at Dana that she doesn't
get to boss her around anymore. She's going to feel how she feels
and eat what she wants to eat and Dana can just go suck a dick. It's
pretty satisfying to be honest. I live for seeing Dana get put in
her place. Dana, of course, believes she did nothing wrong and
Shelley is just being her usual dramatic self. For some reason,
Faith backs up Dana. It's weird.
They go to volunteer again and Terry
loses a patient – like physically can't find him – but nothing
else interesting happens. As they're leaving, Frank tells Faith
he'll pick her up at 7:00 and Dana gets super excited about Faith's
date with the doctor. Why do none of them recognize that this is
weird????? She dresses in a white wool dress that she thinks makes
her look older and sophisticated but just sounds really itchy to me.
Frank picks her up and takes her to a
restaurant that Faith has never noticed in the tiny town of
Greenleaf. Somehow. She shows him the photographs at dinner and he
compliments her way too much. He tells her if he had a sister he
would want her to be just like Faith. She blurts out that she'd
rather be his girlfriend than his sister and he doesn't immediately
react. Then he says that he's too old for her but she can look him
up in 10 years and then maybe it will happen. This still feels
creepy to me.
After dinner, they go to the Tutti
Frutti for ice cream and naturally Johnny walks in and sees them. He
leaves without a single word and Faith is upset. She gets
distracted, though, by the huge fight going on between Elizabeth and
Tom in the back booth. She decides not to intervene since Tom dumped
Shelley and all. He can just take it. Terry shows up with another
bizarre ailment (his arches are falling) and then Johnny reappears.
Faith brings him over to the table to meet Frank and she explains how
he took her out to dinner to repay her for taking some photographs
for him. Johnny is relieved and says “it wasn't a date?” to
which Frank replies “not yet”. He repeats that in 10 years he
and Faith will probably smash each others brains out and it's just
pretty disturbing.
On the drive back to Canby, Frank asks
Faith if she has a crush on him and when she says yes, he rubs her
leg or something. Again. DISTURBING. He tells her to be sure to
look him up in 10 years and then he drops her off.
On Monday the D-plot💂 is all wrapped up.
The student body unanimously votes 'no' on having uniforms and
that's that despite the fact that the trial period was supposed to last a month and it's only been two weeks.
On Friday, the C-plot👭 shows up at the
dorms for the weekend. I know it feels abrupt, like I left a bunch of
stuff out but I didn't. It literally skips from them voting 'no' on
uniforms to Maggie arriving five days later. She'll be sleeping in
Casey's room apparently since Casey has a single so they take all her
bags there. Then Terry shows up to take her to a soccer game but
Dana and Shelley are tagging along so it's not a date or anything.
They have a fun evening.
We don't get to see Saturday at all.
In fact, we skip right to Sunday evening because there are only a few
pages left and ghostie has ish to do. Dana talks to Maggie about the
plans to come to Canby and Maggie shocks her by saying she isn't sure
she wants to come. She likes not having Dana around because Dana is
“too bossy”. Yes, it actually said that. I love Maggie. Dana
says she promises not to interfere in Maggie's life if she does come
to Canby and Maggie pretty much calls #bullshit on that before I can.
She tells Dana that she can't stop interfering in people's lives and
I couldn't agree with her more. But I guess that wraps up the
C-plot👭.
The B-plot💬 is next. The opening night
for the spring play arrives and Elizabeth is refusing to go on. Tom
grabs Shelley and tells her to get ready to take Elizabeth's place.
Unfortunately, Shelley's been so busy moping about not getting the
part that she never actually bothered to learn the play. She doesn't
know a single line. So instead she gives Elizabeth a huge pep talk
and basically slaps her up and sends her out onto the stage.
Elizabeth does a great job and the play is well received. Thus
concludes our B-plot💬.
I guess our A-plot😷 is concluded as
well. It's weird because they only went three times that I know of
but suddenly they're done? I guess? The book just ends without
mentioning it so I really don't know. It's funny, for a book that
was ostensibly about them volunteering, there was very little
volunteering involved. Not that I'm complaining. There was a lot
going on in this book and I'd like to argue that it was a little too
much. Despite that, it felt like not much happened. Tom and Shelley broke up.
Faith acted like an idiot. Dana and Maggie pretty much agreed that
Dana's too bossy and they decided not to wear uniforms. I mean,
that's pretty much it and it only took a few sentences to say.
I miss Randy😭.
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: I'm giving this to Terry. He was hilarious in this book with all his weird "ailments" and losing patients all over the hospital.
The Bitch of Baker House Award: I'm going to give this to Dana. She was hella annoying in this book.
Coming Up Next: The girls of 407 sign a pledge to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
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