Best Friends Forever (Book 6) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: They thought they could face anything together.

From the Back of the Book:  Dana thinks country means quilts from cozy boutiques and Faith can't imagine a town without hot pretzel vendors.... But they find themselves home with Shelley in Iowa for the last weeks of summer, and small-town life is anything but humdrum!  One of Shelley's brothers, Jeff, falls hard for Dana and she wonders if she's always going to attract country types.  Everyone is getting ready for the County Fair when Faith is suddenly, shockingly ill.  The best doctors in Pine Bluff can't figure out what's wrong.  Dana and Shelley stand helplessly by, worried that for Faith, small-town care simply isn't going to be enough....

This book was published in 1984 and I have no idea if I read it back in the day or not.  I was going to say not but I did remember one of the main plot points so who knows?  I either read it and forgot almost everything about it or I never read it at all and this plot point got mentioned later in a book I did read.  Your guess is as good as mine.  The ghostie for this book is Patricia Aks who also wrote Keeping Secrets which I did not get to read firsthand. I don't have high hopes though because the recap for that book sounded super dumb.

Why does Dana look 40 on this cover??? She seriously looks like their mother or something. And Shelley is getting really skeletal. I guess Gale is gone for good. #amomentofsilenceforGale

Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you know the drill. We have three protagonists: Dana (sophisticated fashionista), Faith (urban photographer) and Shelley (small-town farm girl). For now, Dana is dating the magically delicious Randy, Faith is seeing wannabe-cop Johnny and Shelley is dating Tom from Greenleaf High while on a break from her one-true-love Paul. In the last book, the girls stayed at Canby Hall an extra month after school let out for the summer to take some specialized classes in dancing, acting, poetry and photography. Dana got dumped by Bret and ended up meeting Randy who she dogged on all book for being a “hick”. Tom and Paul found out that Shelley was dating both of them and she and Paul ended up taking a bit of a break from each other to date other people. While trying to make up with Tom, Shelley almost got arrested for being the Greenleaf Cat Burglar.

Missing, Presumed Dead: Maggie.  Not only does Dana forget to #keeponeeyeonMaggieatALLtimes, but she forgets she has a sister at all.  We spend some time with Dana at home but there is not a single mention of her sister.  Poor Maggie.

Risen From the Tulip Bed: Gale.  That's right, y'all.  I thought she was dead and buried because of the emaciated cover model but, no!  Gale is much more hardy than that, bitches, and she's back with a vengeance to eat everyone's brains.

We begin with Dana in her New York City apartment waiting for 11:00pm to happen because that's when the long distance rates go down and she can call Faith. She's in the bedroom she shares with Maggie and this is where Maggie should have made an appearance but she's glaringly absent.  It's very odd.  Did someone forget to tell Aks that Dana has a sister or what?  This is the problem with having a bunch of different people write a series of books.

#fuckcontinuity

Dana is thinking about the trip they're about to take to visit Shelley in Iowa for two weeks and we're treated to a flashback in which Shelley mentions working in her dad's drugstore for the summer which is a neat trick since her dad is a farmer.

#fuckcontinuity  Again.  Already.  This has to be a record.

Dana and Faith aren't so sure about this trip. They think it's going to be boring and stupid. And then we get this..... “The truth was, Dana and Faith felt superior to anyone who hadn't been born and raised in the East the way they had.”

#fuckyouDanaandFaith

That quote really sums up the entire book and I really feel like my job is pretty much done here.  From now on, when Dana and Faith are feeling superior because they were raised in the illustrious East, I'm simply going to insert this symbol instead of wearing my poor fingers out typing it.  👺 

The next day, Faith flies to New York to meet Dana and then the two of them fly to Iowa. Shelley and her brothers Larry and Jeff come to get them.  Jeff does his level best to pick Dana up in more than just the ride-giving sense. After that we get an entire chapter of Dana being surprised that Shelley's brothers are talking about farm stuff instead of fashion and Faith worrying that she'll be lynched or something. It's very, VERY obnoxious.  👺

Shelley shows them around the house and they do their best to be snobby and judgmental about EVERY FUCKING THING. They can't believe they've been dropped in the middle of the wilderness where there's no one single mall or museum or “movie house” and they wonder how they'll survive. When Shelley goes to help her mom with dinner, they make fun of her and her family for being so country.  👺

They continue to mock everyone in their heads during dinner and if I didn't hate them before, I definitely do now. These girls are awful. Shelley announces that former boyfriend Paul and his cousin Jack are going to come by after dinner to take them all bowling. Jeff is still hot for Dana so he says he'll join them after he gets his cow Gertrude entered into the fair.

I was about to say that was the first time I ever bold-ed the name of a cow character but then I remembered those stupid shifter books.  

Paul and Shelley get into a fight as soon as they get into the car together. Paul was a total sweetie in the last book but he's a total ass in this one. Character consistency is not a strong point of these books. He wants Shelley to quit Canby and come back home so they can be together. Which is just ridiculous because in the last book he wanted to date some other girl instead. How many times can I use the #fuckcontinuity in one recap??

Jack breaks into the arguing and redirects the conversation, much to Dana and Faith's relief. Things were getting hella awks there for a minute. They get to the bowling alley and have way more fun than they were expecting. Faith thinks that Jack is pretty cute and I'm wondering if she's about to come down with something.

Later, Faith and Dana are in the room they're sharing and Faith teases her about Jeff's pretty obvious crush. Dana laments that she can't attract anything but country boys. She thinks about how awesome Randy is for a page and a half but then tells Faith that she could never really “flip” for someone who wasn't from a big city.  👺  

She's horrible. My hatred for Dana is beginning to become very distracting.

The next morning, the girls have breakfast and then Shelley begins her itinerary of fun. First stop is a visit to Jeff's prize calf Gertrude. Dana and Faith are pretty surprised that Shelley already knows how to drive and is allowed to take them around herself. Neither of them can drive yet. On the way, Shelley treats them to fun facts about Iowa – how it got its name, the state flower, etc. It's like Aks read a little paragraph on Wiki and wanted to be sure to work it all in.  Unfortunately she does so in the most clunky way possible.

When they get to the farm, Faith wants to take pictures of cows so Shelley takes her off to do that. Jeff has a harness on Gertrude and he's trying to get her used to being led around so Dana walks around with him. She's surprised to find she has butterflies in her stomach which is a sure sign that she's got a bit of a crush on someone. So I guess she gets one of these too.

These girls all have a very “love the one you're with” attitude.

After that, they all saddle up some horses and go out for a ride. Dana makes sure to observe that Shelley looks like “Buddha sitting on an elephant” which is just super bitchy to Shelley AND the horse. I'd just like to point out to Miss SnootyMcBitch that Shelley is smaller than her on the cover.

#thatmomentofsilencewasreallypremature

Faith has never been on a horse at all but she's brave and confident. Dana, not so much. She's nervous and unsure. Jeff rides beside her and tries to reassure her that she's probably going to survive. She doesn't enjoy it at first – feeling like a ragdoll bouncing around – but she finally relaxes and begins to have fun. They all stop at a pond so the horses can drink and Faith gets down to splash some of the muddy water on her face to cool down. When she stands back up, she gets really dizzy for a second but it passes and she attributes it to the heat.

On the way back, Dana loses control of her horse (Aks completely forgot which one she was on, by the way, and had her riding the horse Faith had been on instead. #fuckcontinuity) and almost runs right onto a busy highway. Luckily, Jeff manages to dramatically save her just in time and she looks at him “lovingly” afterwards.

After they return the horses, Shelley takes them into town to her father's drugstore so they can get lunch. I guess this is one of the old-fashioned drug stores with a little lunch counter. I haven't seen those in years but we used to have a Graves when I was little that had a counter in the back where you could get drinks and ice cream. I used to get cherry coke there way before canned cherry coke was a thing and it was so much better than what you can get now.

While lunch is getting ready, the girls wander around. Dana has some blisters or something on her hands so she gets some bandaids and Faith is still feeling a little odd so she buys a bottle of aspirin. When their sandwiches arrive, she doesn't manage to eat much but she drinks all of her ice cream soda.

After lunch they go next door to the general store where they proceed to make fun of everything in the store and the kind of people who shop there until they offend both the store owner and Shelley.  👺  These girls are just awful. Shelley ushers them out of there and takes them to a “Trash and Treasure Sale” which I think is like a huge town-wide garage sale. Faith is feeling weak and sick but doesn't want to admit it to anyone so she keeps quiet about it.

They pretty much repeat their behavior at the sale, making fun of everything they see. 👺  And then they're offended when people don't want to talk to them or wait on them. Dana finds some pretty dessert plates at one booth and is astonished to find the young man tending it is reading Emily Dickinson. She pretty much says that she can't believe anyone in Iowa reads poetry and he's a better person than I am because he doesn't punch her right in the face.  👺

I can't believe how many times I've already used that little dude.  My manager named him Dave, bee tee dubs.

Later that night, they go for a hayride. Faith is feeling pretty miserable at this point - achy and exhausted - but is trying hard to hide it. Luckily this kind of hayride consists of everyone sitting and laying down in huge piles of hay rather than sitting upright on hay bales so she can rest without anyone noticing. She sees Paul with his arm around Shelley and Jeff with his arm around Dana and she suddenly misses Johnny. She tells us how much she loves him and how he's made her life so much better since they've been together. Which is odd because she only mentioned him like two times last book.

Jeff ends up going in for the kiss and Dana is happy to go along. Afterwards she feels kind of bad about it. In the last month or so, she's kissed three different boys (Bret, Randy and Jeff) and while there's nothing wrong with that per se, it isn't the kind of girl she wants to be.

Suddenly it begins to pour and someone yells that they see a “twister”. Everyone starts to panic and Dana snuggles in closer to Jeff, comforted by “his strong body”. The adult driving the hayride says they'll head for an abandoned barn for shelter and this really sounds like the absolute worst place to go in a tornado. Unless it has a cellar. On the way, Jeff helpfully tells them about Waco twister of '53 which just set my manager off on a bizarre rant because there was an enormous super outbreak in the 70's that they should have been more familiar with than the one in Waco. Additionally, she's told me there were two pretty big tornadoes actually IN IOWA in the late 60's that they probably would have used for an example instead. ((In case you're wondering, as I'm reading, I often tell her the odd things I come across. That's why she had a rant about this before the recap was even posted.))

They reach the barn and get inside but apparently there aren't any actual doors. I maintain that this is a stupid place to take shelter. When you're outside you are supposed to look for a ditch or something to take cover in. They watch the tornado rip the roof off a farmhouse in the distance before heading right for them. Luckily, however, the girls from 407 are present and they are immune to natural disasters. The tornado lifts before it kills them all.

#room407mustalwaysbespared

They all go back home to dry off. Faith's plan is to take a long bath and go to bed. Shelley is going out for a “stroll” with Paul and Dana finds herself making out on the front porch with Jeff. I guess she's not too concerned about that kissing-too-many-boys-in-a-month thing anymore.

The next morning, Shelley wakes them up bright and early to go help on the farm that got destroyed by the tornado. Faith tries to tell her she's tired and doesn't feel well but Shelley doesn't listen. She says it's their “civic duty” to help out and she already volunteered them to take care of the family's three-year-old daughter Abigail.

They decide to take Abigail to the swimming hole to keep her out of the way of the people attempting to repair the roof. Faith lays down under a tree instead of swimming and Dana finally notices something is wrong. She asks Faith if she's okay and Faith replies that she's tired and has a headache. Dana asks her if she wants to see a doctor but Faith says an Iowa doctor would probably kill her and Dana agrees.  👺

Later that night, Faith is overcome by dizziness. She wants to tell someone but she's afraid they'll make her see the doctor and she's convinced no one in Iowa will know how to practice actual medicine.  👺

The next morning Faith is feeling even worse. Everyone is going to a fair for the day – where Jeff will show Gertrude – and then to a square dance that evening. Faith decides to stay home for the day and rest so maybe she'll feel better in time to go to the fair. Shelley's mom offers to stay with her but Faith insists it's just a little cold and tells everyone to go without her. After they're gone, she feels alone and afraid and she ends up crying.

Jeff finds out that Faith isn't coming to watch him show his cow and he's “burning with anger” for some reason. It doesn't make sense and it's just Aks trying to inject some drama here where it doesn't belong. The calf showing part of the fair doesn't start for a couple of hours and he's been there all morning working on Gertrude so his parents urge him to run home really fast and shower and change so he isn't all sweaty and grimy for his event. Before he leaves, they remind him that only the person on the paperwork can show the animal so he has to get back in time or Gertrude will miss her time in the sun. There might as well be a flashing neon sign over that saying PLOT POINT HERE.

I know this is the wrong blog but..........

Odds that Jeff has to take Faith to the hospital and doesn't make it back to show Gertrude in time: 99%

By the time Jeff reaches the house he is “seething with rage” that Faith is going to miss his big day. Again, Aks, this makes no real sense. He yells through the house for her and when she doesn't answer, he assumes she went off somewhere else. He's surprised when he finds her collapsed, sweating profusely and breathing heavily. She's burning up with a fever and he tells her that he's going to drive her to the hospital immediately. She protests that he has to get back to the fair but he tells her it doesn't matter and she's more important.

This is EXACTLY what I mean, Aks. You've been writing him as a good guy for the entire fucking book and that's why it made NO SENSE that he was so pissed at her for being sick. Keep track of your own fucking characters, would you? And this one is 100% yours so it isn't like you just changed the character traits of an established character because you didn't do your homework and didn't know better. You created this one pretty much and should know who he is.

Okay. Rant over.

Jeff leaves a note for his family and then carries her to the car, murmuring sweet reassurances to her the entire way and acting like the person we've been getting to know for 140 pages and not that impostor Aks tried to shove on us for 5 of them. He continues to tell her she's going to be okay and he's going to take care of her as he races to the hospital in the next town.

Jeff agonizes as he waits. No one will tell him anything and he's a worried wreck. When his family and Dana finally arrive, he more or less crumbles. Everyone fusses over him and then Larry takes him to get some food because he hasn't eaten all day. The Hydes go to talk to the doctor to try to get information for when they call Faith's mother. When they return, everyone presses Shelley's dad for his expert diagnosis because he is a pharmacist after all and that qualifies him to make medical pronouncements. He says it's either Mono or Meningitis.

That's a pretty broad spectrum there.

The doctor won't allow visitors until he knows exactly what she has and how contagious it is, so everyone goes back to Shelley's house. Her mom calls Faith's mom and arrangements are made for her to fly in the next day.

The next day there's no change in Faith's condition and the doctors are continuing to run tests. Bacterial meningitis has been ruled out as well as a host of other things (like mono) but they're no closer to an answer. Dana and Shelley are finally allowed to see her and they're shocked at how sick she looks.

Two days pass and Faith continues to get worse without them figuring out what's wrong.  The doctors there say she has some kind of infection but they can't pinpoint it.  Her mother isn't happy and wants her moved back to Washington DC where more competent people can look after her.  👺  I see where Faith gets it now. The doctors tell her Faith isn't stable enough to be moved and no airline will transport her since they don't know if she's contagious but Faith's mother says she'll take her critically ill daughter to the East Coast by train if she has to because this makes perfect sense. Sigh.

Shelley's dad has a friend who has a private plane and, to keep Faith off a fucking train, he arranges for his friend to transport them. Dana and Shelley are going to go too so they can help out at Faith's house and keep Faith company so she isn't so scared. Jeff is devastated that Dana is leaving so soon. #youdodgedabulletdude She just shrugs it off and thinks he was nothing more than a little summer fling anyway so she's not going to concern herself with his feelings or even promise to keep in touch. #SUCHABITCH

He gives her a little stuffed cow to remember him by and I pretty much want to kick her teeth in. It's a typical day with Dana really.

The book is literally five pages from ending and Aks still hasn't diagnosed Faith yet. She's removed from the hospital against medical advice and flown back to Washing DC where she's admitted into another hospital. It doesn't help. Three days go by with Faith making no improvement. She's unconscious now and Dana and Shelley aren't even allowed to see her. The doctor there tells her mom that Faith was receiving the proper treatment in Iowa and never should have been moved.

Suddenly Aks realizes she only has two pages left to wrap this up and she decides that Faith just has some kind of unnamed infection and suddenly it's all better!!! Hoorah!!!! Faith wakes up and asks for pretzels and mustard and everything is lollipops and rainbows.

IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

The Least Annoying Person in Pine Bluff Award:  Jeff.  Despite what Aks tried to do to him for a few pages, he was the only good character in this book.  Well, him and Gertrude.  She was a peach.

The Bitch of Baker House Award:  This has to go jointly to Dana and Faith because.....👺.

Coming up Next:  The worst person at Canby Hall finally makes her appearance.  Yes, folks, it's Pamela.  It's hard to be worse than our 407 girls but she manages.  Somehow.