Warnings: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them did.
Tag Line: They are so different. Will they ever be good friends?From the Back of the Book: Dana Morrison - spirited independent city girl. Faith Thompson - determined, talented and practical. Shelley Hyde - naive, small-town girl. Dana, Faith and Shelley, all new to Canby Hall in their sophomore year, end up as roommates - and get off to their worst possible start. They're so different they practically hate each other! But slowly they grow to understand and care about one another and to help each other - through Dana's disastrous first love, Faith's trouble with the headmistress, and Shelley's desperate homesickness.
I love how the blurb says fairly good things about Dana and Faith at the top there but Shelley just gets "naive". Really sets the tone, doesn't it?
So it's come to this. The beginning of
the dark times. I can't even believe I agreed to do this and I think
you guys are going to regret it. Shelley is literally the worst,
y'all. We might not survive this.
This book was published back in 1983
and I definitely owned a copy. I got it at a Scholastic Book Fair
and if I had only known the horrors I would endure with this series,
I never would have picked it up. Of course, I must have loved them
back then because I kept buying them. What was wrong with me???????
The ghostie for this book is Carol White. She's also the person who
wrote that train wreck Something Old, Something New, so at least you all know where to set your expectations for this one.
The only thing that really stands out
to me about this cover is how very awful their hair is. Also, Dana
is supposed to be the resident fashionista and that outfit is just
horrific. Is she wearing an ascot???? I don't feel like I can trust
anything anymore. Also, what is that weird shadow behind Shelley's right shoulder? ((Note from future me: I bet it's Gale. You'll find out who Gale is soon enough.))
We begin with Dana who
technically hasn't ruined any of our lives yet (BUT SHE WILL). She's
sitting in the back of the shuttle waiting to be whisked away
from the train station to Canby Hall to begin her sophomore year of
high school. She feels like a pioneer because.....well, I don't
really know why. Everyone else in the van is a returning student and
they're all chatting about things Dana knows nothing about.
Including an entree from the cafeteria that they call Slime and
Slide. #yummy Dana feels lonely and a little lost.
She tells us that she changed her mind
about going to Canby that very morning. She's a city girl and she
doesn't think she's cut out for the wilderness that is Massachusetts.
Her mom convinced her it was just a case of last-minute nerves and
here she is. We also learn that her parents are divorced and it
was't amicable and she has one sister named Maggie (who we
will later keep one eye on at All times).
Now we're with Faith who
technically hasn't been sanctimonious yet (BUT SHE WILL BE). She's
already in 407 and she finds it a dismal place. The walls are
painted a hideous green color and her brown and orange print
bedspread is totally going to clash with it. There are three beds,
three dressers, three desks and an old armchair in the corner. These
rooms sound huge. I had a dorm room that was barely big enough for
two of each of those things and there definitely wasn't room left
over for an armchair.
Faith is concerned because she's never
shared a room with a “white girl” before. Now's the time
that I need to remind you all that this series is
ever-so-slightly-racially-uncomfortable. It was the early
80's after all and political correctness wasn't a thing yet. Race
comes up in these early books more than it did in the later ones, so
just be prepared for that. I'm going to use the terms "black" and "white" because that's what the book uses.
Faith, unlike Dana, had been excited to
come to Canby Hall. She may only be 15 but she has her entire life
planned already and Canby is one of the stepping stones to getting
into a good college and becoming a professional photographer. We
also learn that she has older sister named Sarah and a younger
brother named Richard. Their father was a police officer who
was killed in the line of duty two years ago.
Just as Faith finishes unpacking, Dana
arrives in the room. She greets Faith like any human would –
pleasantly but a little nervously because a new roommate is a very
big deal. Faith snidely comments that she probably wasn't what Dana
was expecting, insinuating that Dana didn't think she'd be living
with a black girl and it's totally unfair to the life ruiner who
actually didn't do anything wrong. Dana rather graciously refuses to
rise to the bait and remains pleasant. She invites Faith to go
explore campus with her but Faith doesn't want to get too chummy with
the preppy, designer-clothes-wearing white girl and says she's going
to take a nap instead.
Well then.
Now we're with Shelley who
technically hasn't done anything dramatic yet (BUT SHE WILL). She's
on the bus from Boston with a girl named Maureen who is also a
sophomore but not a transfer student. What do you want to bet poor
Maureen is under the tulips by book 2? Maureen is busy telling
Shelley how wonderful every single thing is at Canby but Shelley's
mind is on what – that is, who – she left behind in Pine
Bluff Iowa.
Shelley tells us that her parents are
sending her to Canby to get her away from her boyfriend Paul.
They're worried she'll be knocked up by graduation if she stays in
town. Shelley can't believe a dreamboat like Paul even gives her the
light of day. She's FIFTEEN whole pounds overweight and that makes
her completely undatable.
Buckle up, y'all, because this is going
to be a HUGE theme in the series. Shelley's extra 15 pounds are going to be their own character they're mentioned so often. I feel
like we should give them a name. I'm going to consult my manager and
get back to you.
(((((((Time passes in real
life.......)))))))
My manager has named the 15 pounds
Gale. So from here on, when I say 'Gale' y'all will know what
I'm talking about.
We learn that Shelley lives on a farm
and has two brothers named Jeff and Larry. That's pretty much it. She's the only one of our girls who still lives with both parents. When she finally arrives at Canby, she's stunned to find out that one
of her roommates is black. See, this is the one that deserved
Faith's little asshole comment and not Dana. She's never had any contact with an actual black person and she's nervous that they won't actually
have anything to talk about. Because black girls and white girls
don't actually talk about the same things I guess???
#ohthe80s
Shelley makes some lame comment about
never really talking to a black person before but she's sure “they
could be as nice as anyone else”. Faith, understandably, takes
offense to this and stomps out of the room.
We're back in Dana's head and she has
no idea that some serious ish just went down in 407. She wanders
around for awhile and spots a farm near campus that she assumes
belongs to some bigwig related to Canby somehow. (((Hi, Randy. I 💖 you!! Stay away from the life ruiner!!!))) Eventually she heads
back to the room and she finds Shelley. She comments on Gale, of
course, and tells us that Shelley looks like a 50's teen. Oooookay.
#whyisthisseriessoobsessedwiththe60's?
Before they can have actual
conversation, Faith slams back into the room and Dana can tell
there's major tension between her and Shelley. She tries to engage
them all in small talk but Shelley's an idiot and Faith is
sarcastically mocking her at every opportunity (which turns out to be
a lot because Shelley's as dumb as a mud fence). Finally Dana
suggests they all get dinner in the cafeteria and, for some reason,
they agree.
Dana tries to get some conversation
going over the awful stew but neither of her companions are
interested. She has a feeling it's all just a misunderstanding but
since neither of them will talk about it, she has no idea how to fix.
As the meal goes on, she starts to get mad and by the time it's
over, she's decided she doesn't like either one of them very much.
#jointheclub
We hop into Shelley's head the next
morning. She's in the cafeteria and she tells us that at least the
food is so bad she'll finally be able to get rid of that bitch Gale.
Number of times Gale's been mentioned
so far: 4. Shelley's mentioned it twice and Dana and Faith have each
mentioned it once.
Shelley ends up sharing a table with
some older girls and they listen to her cry over her oatmeal. They
suggest she get her roommates interested in a group project so they
can come together as a team. Shelley decides they should decorate
the room together and she gets busy making plans and drawing
diagrams.
Shelley presents her plans to Dana and
Faith when they wake up. It involves chintz dust ruffles and pillow
shams and eyelet lace curtains. Urban Faith and Glamorous Dana don't
take to the idea at all and Shelley gets very butthurt about it. She
runs from the room in tears and decides she hates them both forever.
After Shelley leaves, Dana asks Faith
what Shelley did to her the previous day. Faith rather imperiously
declares that Shelley is the grand dragon of the KKK and Dana tells
her she probably overreacted. As much as it galls me to agree with
Dana twice in one recap, she's right here. Faith came to Canby
expecting people to have a problem with her skin color. What Shelley
said was stupid and careless but it wasn't coming from a racist place
at all. Just an unfamiliar one. Faith needs to get over herself a
little here.
As Faith heads to the orientation, she
more or less comes to the same conclusion. She feels bad for being
so rigid and regrets ruining her chances at being friends with her
roommates. She feels like things are too far gone at this point to
fix them so now we know Faith is fatalistic and a quitter.
During orientation, Faith ends up
sitting next to an impish girl named Casey who keeps up a
hilarious running commentary during PA's (head bitch in
charge) history of Canby speech and her recitation of the rules and
regulations. Faith takes an instant liking to Casey. I can't
remember if I liked her or not. Guess I'll be reminded.
After the orientation, Casey tells
Faith that she's here by the skin of her teeth. This is her fourth
boarding school and she keeps getting kicked out because she can't
stay out of trouble. She was almost evicted from Canby too but PA
decided to give her one last break. Faith hangs out with Casey and
Casey's friends for the rest of the day and has a great time.
When she gets back to the room later
she finds that it's been rearranged. There's a bed and desk in each
corner and living spaces are delineated with tape on the walls and
floor. Neither of her roommates say a word to her and she resigns
herself to the fact that this is how it's going to be.
A week passes and the stand-off
continues. The room remains completely silent and they only
communicate through passive-aggressive notes. On Friday the
housemother-extraordinaire Alison comes to check in on things
and she's alarmed by what she sees. She orders them to report to her
penthouse room in half an hour and she's not taking no for an
answer. She has a reputation to protect and she won't stand for
trouble spots in her dorm.
They gather in Alison's hippy-dippy
room and sit around with tea and cookies. Alison asks them what's
going on and no one will answer. Finally she orders Dana to go
first. Dana says she really has no idea what happened. It's Shelley
and Faith's argument and she wishes they'd just settle it because she's
miserable. So Alison turns to Shelley next.
Like a petulant five-year-old, Shelley
says that Faith is mean to her. She says she accidentally offended
Faith on the first day and that she didn't care that Faith was black
she was just trying to say she'd never had the opportunity to be
friends with a black person before. She thinks that Dana and Faith
both think they're better than her and that they're secretly laughing
at her all the time for being a hick. She doesn't want to be there –
she never wanted to be there in the first place – and she just
wants to go home.
Dana hands her a napkin to soak up her
drama-llama tears and tells her that she's not laughing at her. She
thinks it's “neat” that Shelley comes from such a
different place than New York and meeting people from different
places is one of the reasons Dana came to Canby in the first place.
Shelley gives her a tentative smile.
Now it's Faith's turn. She tells
Shelley that she knows she's overreacted and she knows that Shelley didn't mean to
be so insulting but by the time she figured it out, they were too far
into it and she couldn't figure her way out. I've actually gotten
myself into a place like this a few times myself so I have some
sympathy for the sanctimonious one here.
#whatishappeningtome
The girls all resolve to try to be
friends and Alison declares herself the best housemother ever in
existence.
The next chapter is just a letter from
Shelley to Paul catching him up on EVERYTHING WE JUST READ.
Seriously, ghostie, we didn't need a review here. By the way,
Shelley calls Paul “Honeybear” and she signed her letter
“Honeybunch”.
#gag
Oh! And she mentioned Gale AGAIN in
the letter.
Number of times Gale's been mentioned
so far: 5.
We take a hop to the end of the second
week. The girls have all been busy with school and their activities
(campus newspaper for photographer Faith, choir for musician Dana
and.......I guess letter writing for homesick Shelley?). There's a
“record-hop” that night at Oakley Prep. I guess that's
some kind of dance??? The mention of Oakley Prep makes me super sad
because Cary doesn't exist yet. I 💖 Cary.
#sigh
Faith isn't interested in the dance.
She's too exhausted from her week to “boogie”. Shelley
doesn't want to go either. She's planning to call Paul that night.
Faith secretly thinks Shelley is a “drip” when it comes to
Paul and that Paul sounds like the most boring person on earth.
She's a bundle of non-judgmental acceptance, our Faith. Only Dana
seems anxious to go.
Faith decides to head to town to get an
ice cream cone and she invites Casey to go with her. Casey acts like
your run-of-the-mill student but Faith has heard that her parents are
mega-super wealthy (remember this because it will be important in
book 2) art dealers. Casey never talks about them or about her life
away from school which Faith finds intriguing.
It's also a fucking lie because Casey does nothing but talk about her parents and her sad life for most of the book. Holy fuck, ghostie, keep it together.
Over sundaes at the Tutti Frutti, Faith
moans a little about being black first and Faith second. Casey
basically shuts her right the fuck down and tells her that she's not
the only one with that problem. There are plenty of other minority
students who have to deal with it too, plus it happens to other
people too. People always see her as rich first and Casey second.
#TeamCasey
We're in Shelley's head now and she's
worked herself into a right good drama-vortex. She starts by looking
at pictures from home and playing sad songs. Then she wallows around
in her failures at school and wonders why her teachers can't see
that's she's a great tragic heroine. She's clearly “a girl
desperate in the agony of being so cruelly separated from the ones
she loved; driven away from her home; forced to live away at a
boarding school like Jane Eyre.” That's a direct quote, y'all.
Shelley has arranged to call Paul at
11:00 when the rates are cheaper. I bet none of you reading this
even remembers a time when the long distance rates changed based on
what time it was. It's like reading about ancient times for you lot,
isn't it? Unless Kit's drunk again and reading this. He'd remember.
He's an old-timer like me.
ANYWAY.....she's arranged to call at
11:00 but she falls asleep and doesn't wake up until 11:30. When she
gets down to the payphones, they are both occupied. There are two
other dorms but she's in her pajamas and she has to run up to the
fourth floor to get dressed and then she leaves her change purse on
her bed and has to go up again. By the time she gets to Addison
House it's almost midnight and she's sure Paul is sitting on top of
the phone absolutely frantic waiting for her call.
BUT when she finally reaches a very
sleepy Mama Paul, she finds out that Paul isn't even home. He went
on a hayride and then camped out in the woods with some friends.
Shelley is devastated. She starts sobbing and tells us that only
death would have made her miss this phone call but clearly Paul has
fallen completely out of love with her and moved on to greener
pastures.
#calmthefuckdownShelley
I have a feeling I'll be busting out
that particular hashtag A LOT.
We now slide into Dana's head and also
go back a few hours into the past. We're time travelers now, y'all.
Do you feel younger yet?
Dana ended up walking to the dance with
Mary Lou and Sally June. Why do they both have two
first names? Mary Lou and Sally June speak in baby-talk which I
vehemently REFUSE to copy down into this recap because it makes me
want to slap the fucking teeth right out of their faces to even read
it and I'll be impaled on a pike in the middle of Main Street before
I actually type it. The first part of the dance is pretty much a dud
but then Dana meets Bret who is gorgeous, has a cleft in his
chin and smells amazing. I feel Dana here. I'm a sucker for the
right cologne too. Don't even ask about that time I followed some poor guy around the gas station just so I could smell him again.
Dana and Bret spend the rest of the
night talking and then he walks her home. On the steps of Baker
House he asks her for a second date and gives her the perfect
goodnight kiss. She falls madly in love.
We do another time hop but I have no
idea how much time has passed this time. Dana goes up to talk to
Alison and Alison mentions that the gossip mill says that Dana is
dating Bret. She gives Dana a friendly warning. Bret gets around a
lot. He's dated half the girls at Canby and he's always wildly
romantic at first – flowers, love notes, lots of attention – and
then he just ghosts and never talks to the girl again. She tells
Dana that some of his exes actually formed a club called the Tear
Drops for all the former love interests of Bret. Dana appreciates
the warning but thinks she's the girl that's going to change things
for Bret.
#theyallsaythat
Alison asks her about Faith and
Shelley. Dana says that Faith spends a lot of time with Casey.
Alison has a warning about this too. She likes Casey but the girl
tends to take her friends down with her and Alison doesn't want that
to happen to Faith. She says PA already has an eye on Faith which is
solely based on her friendship with Casey. Sounds fair. Dana gives
her the run-down on Shelley too, saying that her homesickness is
getting worse. All Shelley does is talk about how much she misses
her boyfriend and how she wishes she was home. Paul hasn't been as
attentive and Shelley's feeling forgotten. Alison doesn't really
have any words of wisdom about that. They'll just hope things
improve.
We time hop a few days into the future.
Dana and Bret are taking a walk in the woods. The leaves are
beginning to change color and the weather is pleasantly cool. Bret
tells her that winter comes without warning in this area and soon
they'll be knee-deep in snow so they have to enjoy the fall while it
lasts. Dana's snagged (#stolen) some extra toast from the cafeteria
and Bret's brought a jar of peanut butter and they're all set to have
a picnic when they realize that neither of them brought a knife. They end up tearing off pieces of toast and dipping it into the peanut butter like
chips. He's being all poetic and romantic and she's basically making
a joke of it. He gets hurt and asks her why she's putting up
barriers between them. She tells him she knows about his reputation
and he smoothly tells her he just hasn't found the right girl until
now.
#theyallsaythat
Meanwhile Faith and Casey are at the
movie theater. They watch some movie about an alcoholic or something
and afterwards Faith comments that she's never had a drink. Of
course, she's ONLY 15 so this should not have been a shocking thing
but Casey treats it as if Faith is an alien being. She says that
Faith needs to at least have one beer or she'll have to turn in her
“swinging black chick” card. I have no idea what that
even is, but Faith seems to think it's important. Casey ducks into
the bathroom of the theater and puts on heavy make-up and then the
two of them walk down to Smyth's Food and Liquors.
Seriously? Smyth's Food and Liquors?
That's the dumbest name for a place I've ever heard. C'mon, ghostie,
you can do better than this.
Casey goes in first so the clerks don't
think she and Faith are together. Casey's at the counter when Faith
gets there. She's buying bologna, bread, pork 'n beans and milk. As
the cashier rings up her purchases, she makes a huge show of being
irritated that she forgot her husband's beer. The cashier doesn't
even bat an eye. He asks her how many she wants and what kind. A
minute later Casey is walking out with two cans of Bud.
The girls go back to Casey's room to
drink beer and eat bologna sandwiches.
#revolting
Now we're treated to Shelley's portion
of the afternoon. She's been alone in 407. First she tries to do
homework but can't concentrate. Then she goes through all Paul's
letters and underlines the romantic parts with red pen (WTF???).
Then she eats half a pan of brownies and bitches about Gale getting
bigger.
Number of times Gale's been mentioned
so far: 6
After this riveting schedule she writes
a letter to Paul and takes a nap.
We skip to Monday afternoon now. Dana
is in choir practice and she shares sheet music with a truly terrible
person named Dorothy. Dorothy has greasy hair which clearly
makes her some kind of psychopath or something. She asks Dana who
she's taking to the Harvest Holiday dance and Dana realizes that Bret
hasn't asked her yet. She casually mentions that she doesn't know if
she and Bret will be going. She makes up some story about Bret
thinking dances are stupid to save face with Dorothy but the reality
is that he hasn't mentioned it once and she doesn't know why. It's a
pretty big deal. Kind of like Homecoming I guess. That's when
Dorothy drops the bomb that Bret's taking some girl named Polly
to the dance.
Dana is crushed but determined not to
let Dorothy know. She makes up some story about Bret's parents and
Polly's parents being friends and Bret taking Polly out as a favor to
them, but Dorothy clearly knows she's lying. As soon as choir is
over, Dana heads for Alison's room. Alison does the mature adult
thing and encourages Dana to exact some revenge.
#howdidthiswomangetthisjob
Dana comes up with “Plan
Booga-Booga” (I can't make this ish up, y'all) and recruits
Faith, Shelley and Casey to help her. They put on gorilla costumes
and lie in wait by Polly's dorm. When he comes out with Polly, they
surround them and start shouting booga-booga at them. Polly and Bret
try to ignore them, but the gorilla's follow them as they walk across
campus. Bret finally gets annoyed and threatens to deck one of them
but Shelley giggles and he realizes that they're girls and he can't
hit them. They dog the couple all the way to the door of the gym
and then take off. Dana's pretty sure Bret has figured it out by
this point and she's thrilled to show him that she's not just going
to sit in her room crying over a loser like him.
That had to be the stupidest plans I've
EVER read in one of these books.
Bret meets Dana outside of choir
practice the next day. I guess either the dance was on a school
night or they have choir practice on the weekends. Or maybe the
ghostie lost track of her own damn story.
#evenodds
Bret apologizes and claims that he felt
something deep for her and it scared him and he ran but now he knows
he's truly in love with her and he's going to change his ways.
#sameoldstorysameoldsong
Dana wisely tells him that she'll never
be able to trust him again and she can't be in a relationship with
someone she doesn't trust. She tells him she doesn't want to see him
again and she takes off running.
Ghostie tells us a few weeks have
passed. It's some random Tuesday and all three girls are down in the
dumps. Dana is still heartbroken over Bret, Shelley is still
homesick and Faith had a whole reel of film ruined because someone
mislabeled chemicals in the dark room. This sounds super dangerous
and she's lucky the film is the only thing that got ruined. They all
decide to go to bed early. At eleven o'clock, some random girl
sticks her head in their door to tell them that Faith has a phone
call.
It turns out to be Casey. She's at the
all-night diner by the highway and she's getting ready to hitchhike
somewhere far away from Canby. She doesn't want Faith to stop her
(yeah, right) but she didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.
Faith convinces her to wait there so they can say goodbye in person.
She plans to convince Casey to come back and then to sneak both of
them back into the dorm so no one gets in trouble.
Dana and Shelley sensibly try to talk
her out of it. Faith won't be deterred. Then they sensibly beg her to tell Alison instead but Faith refuses. One of the girls on the
first floor owes her a favor and she plans to use that window to get
in and out. Clearly an excellent plan like this could never go wrong.
She makes it to the diner without being caught. Casey
is a mess when she gets there. Casey says that she's had a letter
from her parents and they're not going to be around for Christmas
this year AND they'll be in Europe all next summer so they're
shipping her off to some wilderness camp that's supposed to build her
character. I have no idea why they're telling her about next summer
now. It doesn't make much sense. Anyway, she's upset about that and
because she got called in before PA and the disciplinary board that day. They've
put her on probation. She can't go out on weekdays and she has a
10pm curfew on weekends. So she's decided to cut and run instead.
Faith tells her to stop acting like an
idiot. Casey deserves to be on probation so she just needs to do her
time and suck it up. Running away is dangerous at her age and it's
not going to be as easy as Casey thinks. There's a very real
possibility that Casey could end up in a ditch somewhere. Casey
finally agrees to go back to Canby. When they get there, the girl
who let Faith out has locked her window and fallen asleep.
#dundundun
Also, #predictable
Faith and Casey throw rocks at the
window of 407 (impressive arms they have there) until Shelley opens
the window. Faith tells her to get down to rando girl's room and
open the damn window. It takes her forever. Probably because of
Gale. Eventually the window opens and Casey dives through. Before
Faith can get through, though, security catches her. PA is there too
and asks Faith what the hell she's doing. Faith tells her that she
was on a date and stayed out too late. She just happened to see the
open window and was trying to get in.
No one should be buying this story.
Everyone keeps going on and on about how cold it is. No one would be
sleeping with their window open in this weather. PA lets it go and
tells Faith to be in her office right after breakfast the next day.
Dana and Shelley are furious with
Casey. Apparently she just ran to her room after she got through the
window and never even paused to see what happened to Faith. They
encourage Faith to tell the truth but if she does, Casey will be
kicked out of the school. Shelley tells her that Casey wasn't
thinking about her so she shouldn't think about Casey.
Casey apologizes the next day but says
she can't come forward. She's been kicked out of so many schools and
if she messes up again she's going to be sent somewhere truly awful.
Dana accuses her of being a terrible person and an awful friend but
Casey just bursts into tears and runs off. Faith tells them to lay
off. Casey's all alone in the world and scared. Dana says maybe
there's a reason she's all alone.
The next day, Faith is put on
restrictions for a month. She isn't allowed to leave Baker House
except for meals and classes. She's okay with that but then PA says
her mother will have to be called and Faith freaks out. For two days
she mopes around while the entire dorm fawns over her and buys her
cards and flowers.
Um.
Why exactly would the entire dorm even
care about this?
#room407worshipbegins
Two days later, Faith is called back
into PA's office. Casey is there and she's confessed everything.
Faith is let off on time served and told not to do it again. Luckily
for her, PA hadn't called her mom yet. I think PA knew something
else was up and she was waiting a bit to see if she could figure it
out. Casey is offered counseling in addition to her confinement and
all's well that ends well.
We're winding down in the book so Faith
decides to do a little interfering in Dana's love life. She
encourages Dana to forgive Bret because we all know that unfaithful
serial-daters make the very best boyfriends. Dana decides to call
him and she bursts into tears as soon as she hears his voice. He
begs her not to cry, tells her he loves her and asks her if she'll go
out for pizza with him so he can apologize again for hurting her.
She agrees.
Since she had so much success
interfering with Dana, Faith turns her attention on Shelley for the
last few pages. She decides that Shelley needs a make-over to get
rid of her “bubble-do” and to get her some jeans that
aren't a “dumb color”. Wow, Faith is just....awful. Dana
points out that Shelley likes the way she looks and telling her that
she needs a make-over is really insulting. Why the actual fuck am I
agreeing with the life ruiner so damn much in this book? It's
killing me slowly. Anyway, Faith suggests that they tell Shelley
that Faith needs a model for a photo shoot and maybe she'll agree to
be “styled”.
Shelley goes for it instantly, although
she's a little nervous about having her hair cut. I would be
terrified since Dana's the one cutting it but she eventually gives in.
They take her shopping where they buy her a pair of baggy pleated
jeans to hide Gale.
First........ Number of times Gale's
been mentioned so far: 7 (or is it 8??)
Second.....baggy, pleated jeans would
make Gale look worse I think.
They pair these awful jeans with a
dusty-rose crew neck and a navy blue button-down. This outfit sounds
awful even by 80's standards. They take her to get her ears pierced
and then take her back to the dorm for her haircut. Dana cuts it all
one length and then puts it on tiny hot rollers to give Shelley a
fro. I don't understand this makeover at all. Shelley seems pleased
with the results, though. Afterwards, Shelley announces that she's
not coming back after Christmas. Her parents have finally relented
because she's been so very unhappy.
Suddenly it's time for Christmas
vacation. Wow this year is flying by. Dana and Faith are sad that
Shelley won't be coming back but they've tried everything to get her
to stay and she's not interested. They tearfully part and all go
their separate ways until January. Ghostie only gives us a few
paragraphs about their Christmas breaks and it completely centers
around what presents they got. A short page-and-a-half later,
they're back at Canby.
To their surprise (but not ours
because....I mean.....it's a series after all) Shelley comes back
after all. She tells them that going home just emphasized to her how
much she's changed. She's not the same and that life isn't her life
anymore. So she's back to give Canby a fair shake. They're all
overjoyed and the book finally, mercifully, ends.
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf
Award: I'm totally going to pretend this never happened. If you
mention it to me, I'm going to pretend that I have NO idea what
you're talking about. I have to give this to Dana, y'all. She was
the most reasonable and mature of them all and didn't do one damn
thing to ruin anyone's life. (BUT SHE WILL!!!)
The Bitch of Baker House: This has to
go to Casey. She was hell-bent on dragging Faith down with her this
book and didn't really care about anyone but herself. It's sad
because I actually like the girl. Mostly.
Coming up next: The dumbest book in the
ENTIRE series. Someone gets kidnapped and held for ransom.
Seriously.
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