Warning: Contains Spoilers!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them did.
Tag Line: Can anyone be that helpless?From the Back of the Book: Being a good friend isn't always easy. Even though newcomer Penny Vanderark can't seem to do anything for herself, Andy thinks she's sweet. Jane can understand why Penny has a hard time keeping her room neat, and she likes Penny's funny stories. Only Toby notices that Penny isn't as helpless as she seems. She suspects it's all an act, especially when boys are around. Then Jane makes a date with Cary even though she has already promised to help Toby and Andy during a weekend for prospective students. Her roommates are hurt and angry. How can anyone trust someone who has no loyalty to her friends? Both Penny and Jane have some tough lessons to learn about friendship - the sort of lessons only good friends can teach each other.
This book was published in 1987 and I'm
pretty sure I owned it and read it back then. The cover looks really
familiar. I don't remember anything about it, though. The ghostie
for this book is Lynn Zednick. When I looked her up, the only thing
that popped up was this book and the last book of the series. That
doesn't really bode well. The cover again is pretty Jane-centric.
She's front and center with the new girl du jour while Andy and Toby
are relegated to the back of the shot.
Canby Hall Catch-Up: You guys know the
basics. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society
princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small
town ranch girl). Jane is dating Cary-the-rock-god from the
nearby boys' school Oakley Prep. Andy is loosely dating a boy named
Matt who is sometimes said to be from the public school in
town and sometimes said to be from Oakley Prep. That is, she's
dating Matt when she's not dating Steve who works in her
family's rib shack. It mostly depends on her geographic location at
the time. Toby is dating the ultra-proper Neal
from Boston (who happens to be Jane's ex), and crushing on
local rancher Randy who has magical aging powers that allow
him to be a different age in every book. In the last book, the staff
of Canby Hall went on strike forcing the students to fill in and do
janitorial, cooking and gardening chores. Everything almost fell
apart but the day was saved by the room 407 girls. As usual. Also,
Jane was a spoiled bitch. Also as usual.
Those Who Shall Not Be Unnamed: Former 407 residents
Dana-the-life-ruiner, Shelley-the-drama-llama and
Faith-the-sanctimonious. Hey, just because they graduated and
moved on doesn't mean we can't worship them at least once every book.
Missing, Presumed Dead: Laura Lee.
Remember her? She was a damn big deal a couple of books ago and
then completely missing from the last book. As was Gigi. I
wonder if they ended up buried under those flowers Toby ruined?
We begin with Andy carrying a huge care
package into Baker House. She reminds us about how much her parents
love and miss her and how many wonderful care packages they send her. Andy is a legend in her own mind. She's wondering what goodies are in store for her when she collides with another
girl who is loaded down with boxes. In this case, they aren't care
packages though. Penny is moving into Baker House from one of
the other dorms that was hit hard by the storm from the last book.
Since the year is almost over, they are simply relocating the girls
and they'll do the repairs in the summer when the dorms are empty.
Wow. Continuity. Good job, ghostie.
The two girls knock each other down and
food and clothes go everywhere. Andy offers a hand to help the tiny
Penny to her feet but Penny is looking dazed and doesn't take it
right away. Andy assumes it's because she's black because Andy
assumes everything is because she's black. However, Penny is merely
stunned by the amount of food spilling out of the care package.
Penny helps Andy get the food into room
407 and Andy rewards her with a few chocolate chip cookies. We get
the standard deets on the room. You've heard it all
before.....rainbows, antique quilt, etc etc. This time, though,
Andy's bedspread is described as a “modern print of earth tones”
instead of “striped” or “geometric print”. I
guess her bedspread is as magical as Randy's age.
Andy goes back into the hall to help
Penny grab all the things she dropped. When they get to Penny's
room, Andy is shocked to see she's even messier than Jane. She
offers to help Penny unpack and organize and Penny takes her up on
it. As Andy folds clothes, Penny tells her that her maid helped her
get settled in when school began and she had no idea it was so much
work. I don't know if Andy is aware that she's doing all the work
while Penny just sits there and watches but, if she is, she doesn't
say anything about it.
Wait a minute.
Remember in book one when Jane thought
she had a single room? PA (head bitch in charge) told her that they
over-enrolled the school and all girls were having to double or
triple up. So where the hell did this extra room come from all of a
sudden? I think it's a #fuckcontinuity moment but I'll extend the
benefit of the doubt to the ghostie. A lot of girls went home early
due to the strike and the damage to the dorms. Maybe that's why
there is an empty room suddenly available.
Andy manages to clear the bed so Penny
will have somewhere to sleep while Penny regales her with “Tales
from the Deep South – Privileged Brat Edition”. Andy thinks she
finally met someone more entitled and useless than Jane. Penny's
roommate went home already so Andy invites Penny to eat supper with
the 407 crowd and then leaves to get ready.
Toby and Jane are poking through the
care package when Andy gets back to the room. Toby is impatient to
head to the cafeteria because she's hungry, but Andy says they have
to wait for Penny. Neither Jane or Toby knows who Penny is but,
being the saints that they are, they are more than happy to include
her in their little group.
Be careful, Penny. They included Laura
Lee in their little group once too and no one's heard from her since.
{{{a moment of silence for Laura Lee}}}
Penny comes in and is all gracious and
charming with her southern drawl and her sweet manners. Toby isn't
buying it. She tells us that she's seen girls like this before and
she'll have to explain it to her clueless roommates. This is why I
love Toby. On the way to the cafeteria, Penny has them all laughing
when she tells them the story of how she asked a senior where the
library was on her first day of school and the senior directed her to
PA's house. When she got inside there was tea and cookies on the
table so she helped herself before she decided to search for the card
catalogue. PA found her sitting on the couch, just as comfy as could
be.
In the cafeteria they run into Dee
and Maggie from room 409. Maggie has the unfortunate
distinction of being Dana-the-life-ruiner's sister. It's a shame
because Maggie seems like such a nice girl but DNA don't lie, friend.
Blood will out.
#oneeyeonMaggieatALLtimes
Penny holds court at the table telling
funny story after funny story. Everyone is soon under her spell
except Toby. Later, Andy and Jane ask what Toby has against Penny.
Toby tells them that she knows Penny's type. They pretend to be
helpless and charming and soon people are doing everything for them.
She warns her roommates not to fall for it but they think she is just
being grumpy again. I almost can't blame them after how she acted a
couple books ago.
Merry (the current housemother)
comes to room 407 and the ghostie spends several paragraphs
rhapsodizing about Alison (the former housemother) because
this book series just can't let people move on with their lives. We
also get a big hunk of review about how Merry was strict when she
first arrived but okay now.
Merry tells them that PA is having a
special meeting tomorrow at 10 and she wants all the 407 girls in
particular to be there. I've never understood WHY the adults in
these books seem to hold these girls in such high regard. They
bungle EVERYTHING.
At the meeting PA reveals that they
will be having an open house soon to showcase Canby Hall to
prospective new students and their parents.
Um.
One of your dorms is completely
uninhabitable. Is this REALLY the time for tours?
Anyway, she invited our lovely girls
and a few others because they are model examples of the wonderful
friendships that can exist at Canby Hall. You know.....when they
aren't screaming at each other. She wants them to lead special tours
to show the students what life at Canby is really like. They're each
going to be assigned to a girl (or girls? I wasn't super clear on
this point) and they'll write her (them?) a welcoming letter and then
accompany them (her?) around during the open house.
Penny seeks out Andy later that day but
we're never told why. They talk about future ambitions. Penny only
wants to find a husband who will keep her in the style in which she
is accustomed. Andy thinks this is deplorable. She can't believe
Penny doesn't have some kind of dream. Penny says her dream is to
have a husband make all the money while she stays home and plays
tennis and goes to movies with her friends. Hey, they might not be
the kind of goals Andy likes but they are goals. {{shrug}}
The next day, Andy stops by 407's
mailbox before heading up to her room. There's a letter for Toby
from April, one of the girls they will be showing around for
the open house. Andy is hella curious. She dashes upstairs, hoping
Toby will open the letter right away. It turns out Toby isn't in the
room and Andy assumes she went to Randy's. She tries to read the
letter through the envelope with no luck. Penny comes in during her
attempt to snoop and suggests that they just take the letter to Toby
at the ranch. Andy agrees and the two of them set out.
Penny entertains Andy along the way
with stories about how awful she was at home ec in middle school.
All of Penny's stories seem to be about how hopeless she is at
things. I guess that's how she reminds everyone else that she
shouldn't be given any responsibilities of any kind. Cool trick. It also serves the purpose of keeping everyone's expectations of her very low.
They get to the ranch and Penny
is immediately smitten with Randy. You can't blame her - he is pretty magical. She starts telling him how much
she loves horses, hinting that she'd like to ride. Randy offers
to let her ride his but she says it's too big. #unintentionallydirty She asks to ride Toby's
horse instead because Maxine is smaller but Toby says that Maxine is
still a bit too wild. Penny pouts a bit, so Randy offers his horse
again. She accepts this time as long as he'll hold the reins so
she's safe.
Penny attempts to mount the horse and
Toby notices immediately that Penny has ridden before. She knows
just how to put her foot in the stirrup and where to grab the saddle.
Penny pretends she can't make it and Randy comes around to lift her
into the saddle. He takes the reins and leads her in slow circles.
Toby rather thinks Randy is being led around too and she isn't too
happy about it.
Randy ends up behind Penny on the horse
and he takes her on a gallop around the yard. Toby is fuming by the
time they get back. Penny tells him that she'd love to go again some
time and he invites her to come out with Toby anytime she wants.
Toby can't believe Randy can't see right through Penny.
#boysaredopes
Later that evening, the 407 girls are
discussing what to do with their open house guests when Penny shows
up again. Toby isn't happy to see her and decides to go to the
library to work on a paper that's due soon. As she's leaving, she
hears Andy invite Penny to join in on their tour guide duties. Toby
tells them that they should clear that with PA because she might not
want them bringing extra people. Penny puts on her glum face and
sighs and say's it's okay. She'll probably have some boring job to
do anyway. Then she goes slumping back to her room for maximum pity
effect.
After she's gone, Andy snaps at Toby
for being rude. Toby counters by telling her roommates that Penny
isn't nearly as helpless as she pretends to be and she can't believe
no one else can see it. Andy and Jane are still firmly #teamPenny
and get mad at Toby for her opinion.
I miss Cary. He should be in the book by now.
Things are just better when Cary is around.
Toby decides the only course of action
she really has open to her is to give Penny a lot of rope in the
hopes that she'll hang herself. Not literally. It's an expression.
She's just going to keep her mouth shut and wait for Penny to mess up
like she did about the horse. Toby's sure it will happen sooner or
later.
She goes back into 407 and gets the
cold shoulder from Andy. Jane has gone downstairs to call Cary.
When she gets back, she tells the roommates that Ambulance is going
to be playing in town the next evening. Toby says they should all go
and invite Penny. Andy is shocked by Toby's sudden reversal and Toby
expresses remorse at her earlier rudeness. Andy thinks Toby should
apologize to Penny and Toby agrees to do so.
Andy is super mcjudgypants about this
whole thing.
Penny accepts the invitation to see
Ambulance AND Toby's apology and all is well. When they get to the
gig, Cary jumps off the stage to greet the girls. Penny notices how
gorgeous he is, although she hates his long hair. She flirts with
him and he's polite to her as he always is which earns a frown from
Jane.
Hypocrite thy name is Jane.
She's cheated on him more than once but
as soon as he smiles at a friend of hers, he's the bad guy.
Seriously #emancipateCary.
Toby watches as Penny turns the charm
up to level 10. Soon boys are tripping all over themselves to bring
her drinks and dance with her. Toby is disgusted but keeps her mouth
shut.
We skip ahead to English class where the teacher reads
aloud Penny's essay about a disastrous Disney trip. The entire class
is practically peeing themselves with laughter by the time she's
done. Jane doesn't look amused though. She's used to being the best
in class and she's not ready to hand her crown and sash to Penny.
Andy encourages Penny to submit the essay to the Canby Hall
Journal (a once-a-year publication of the best writing in the
school). Jane has been planning to submit and she doesn't look too
happy to be competing with Penny.
Jane and Toby head up to the room but
Andy hangs back with Penny. She starts to give her a hard press to
major in journalism so that she can have a future that Andy can accept. Penny again says she really just wants to get married and
this is so fucking unacceptable to Miss McJudgypants that she can't
drop it. She continues to berate Penny about her life choices and
about submitting the essay. Penny doesn't want to submit anything.
She gives Andy the essay and tells her to keep it.
Andy decides to submit the essay
without Penny's permission.
Dude.
Don't do this, people. NEVER do this.
I don't care how pure your intentions are. You should NEVER submit a
person's work without their permission.
Jane warns Andy not to do it. She says
that Penny might not appreciate it when she sees her piece published
and Andy might lose a friend. Andy is so sure she's right and so
sure that she's the hero of this story all poised to save Penny from
a life of unfulfillment, that she doesn't listen and submits it
anyway.
Ghostie launches into several pages of
the girls discussing the open house and their English essays. It's
so boring I literally dozed off. At one point, Toby is walking
around to clear her head so she can focus on the essay and she ends
up in Penny's room. Penny is still upset that her essay was read
aloud to the class. She says everyone is expecting something great
from her now and she doesn't like it when people expect things out of
her.
Cary calls that evening to tell Jane
that Ambulance got their first major gig. They've been hired to play
at the Westfield Inn which is a very swanky place in town on Saturday
night. For the record, this does NOT seem like a place a band like Ambulance would be hired to play. Jane is excited because that's the night they will host the
two open house students and they've been struggling to come up with something to do. Cary tells her that the party is private and there's no way he
can sneak five girls in there. But he thinks he can sneak one. Jane
is thrilled. She's never been to the Westfield Inn and she's heard
it's a spectacular place. She figures Andy and Toby can handle the
girls just fine for one evening. After all, she'll be with them the
entire afternoon.
I predict this won't go over well.
#tornadoesarelessdramaticthanAndy
Also, another #fuckcontinuity moment
because these girls have a phone IN THEIR ROOM which can receive
calls. And yet, they are always heading down to the lounge to use
that phone instead. Why?
Jane returns to the room and tells Andy
and Toby about the gig. Andy is hopeful that they can all go but
Jane tells them it's not possible. Both Andy and Toby express regret
that Jane has to miss such a special evening and that's when she
tells them she won't be missing it. Toby calls her out for being
selfish and she's not wrong. Jane is always about Jane. Andy
predictably loses her cool and shouts at Jane for awhile about
canceling plans with them for Cary. Girl code, yo. Jane is
defensive and refuses to feel bad for doing something that she's sure
the other two would do in a heartbeat if they had a boyfriend who
cared to invite them to something elegant and classy.
#whoa
I have to call bullshit on this anyway
because Neil is all about elegant and classy and Cary.....well, is
not. Still love you, Cary. <3 Heart hands 4 lyfe!!! <3
The next morning, Andy deigns to give
Jane a chance to change her mind. Jane asserts that this evening is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her and Cary. Andy says it's a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for their friendship too which seems
pretty dumb. Jane points out that they still have two years at Canby
and they'll have many, many more opportunities to be together and
make memories. Toby replies that Jane might turn around some day and find out that her friends don't want to be friends with her anymore. Or something like that. It comes off completely snotty in the book
but it's a valid point. Jane is only friends with them when it's
convenient for her and they shouldn't have to be her second choice
all the time.
#beentheredonethat
I think our ghostie has short term
memory issues. She's had Toby say the exact same line (“I can't
believe Jane would desert us like this”) multiple times to the
same exact person (Andy). And Andy never says “Hey, bro, you've
said that already” so it's like it's the first time she's said
it each time. Get it together, ghostie.
Andy and Toby go on a two-woman mission
to make sure everyone knows what a selfish bitch Jane is being and it
just makes me dislike both of them. They are SO whiny and
judgmental. Honestly, I'm even over Toby at this point. She's back
to being childish and petulant. Andy ends up inviting Penny to join
them in place of Jane on Saturday evening and Toby seems to have no
problem with it now that her personality transplant is complete.
The girls attend a meeting about open
house where PA goes over the schedule of events in minute detail.
It's as riveting as it sounds. {{YAWN}}
Saturday arrives and Andy realizes they
won't set a good impression for their guests if they're giving Jane
the silent treatment. Psuedo-Toby reluctantly agrees to actually
converse with her roommate and treat her nicely for the day but THIS
DOESN'T MEAN SHE FUCKING FORGIVES HER OR ANYTHING.
April and Jennie show up for
their grand tour and the day gets started. First there's an assembly
and we spend the next several pages being told the history of Canby
Hall. Sorry if you're interested in that because I skipped it.
{{YAWN}}
#buythedamnbookandreadityourself
In the biggest scam ever perpetrated,
Canby caters in lunch so the prospective students will have no idea
what horrors await them if they actually enroll in the school for the
fall. After lunch is a baseball game and, for once, the girls from
407 don't win at something.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{THUNK}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sorry. I just fell out of my chair.
#unbelievable
Jane is having a good time and starts
to regret that she's going to have to leave for her special evening
with Cary. She even calls him at one point, hoping he might tell her
the date is off. Instead he tells her how excited he is and she
chickens out of telling him that she really doesn't want to go
anymore. The other girls leave for Pizza Pete's and Jane begins to
get dressed for her date. The whole time she's feeling guilty and
reluctant to go.
She's trying to decide how to do her
hair when she comes to a decision. She strips off her dress and puts
on shorts and a polo shirt. She decides that she's not going to the
gig where she'll just sit at a table and watch Cary play because that would be too much like being a supportive and loving girlfriend. Instead, she's going
to go out with the others and have fun. Naturally, she never tells
Cary about this and he comes to pick her up only to hear she isn't
going. Considerate.
Cary is confused and doesn't
understand. When she explains that she promised Jane and Toby, he
points out that she promised HIM too. Which is fair. But Jane
doesn't feel remorse. She's doing what she wants to do and that's
always what matters to her. She figures Cary will come around eventually and
forgive her like he always does.
#emancipateCary
The open house weekend goes well and PA
is very happy with the examples of friendship that the girls showed
their guests. Afterwards, everyone gets back to the real world of
English essay-ing. Jane's working on hers when she hears that she
has a visitor downstairs. It's Cary. Of course. This boy really
needs to be told he can do much, much better than Jane.
Cary tells her he understands that
she had to honor the commitment she made to her roommates but she
should have told him she had plans when he asked her to go instead of accepting the date. Jane promises she learned her lesson and he believes despite the fact
that Jane has done this BEFORE and not learned her lesson.
Sigh. He
forgives her. Again.
Jane gets a second victory when her
submission is accepted into the Canby Hall Journal. Penny also gets
accepted. Which is a complete surprise to her considering she didn't
even know she submitted anything. Penny is angry and hurt and tells
Andy she had no right to do this. #truth Andy is unapologetic and
says that Penny gave her the essay so she could do whatever she
wanted with it.
WHAT PLANET IS THIS GIRL
FROM????????????????
Penny demands that Andy go tell the
people she made a mistake and Pseudo-Toby resurfaces from the depths of hell and snaps that
Andy certainly DID make a mistake. She made a mistake thinking that
Penny could ever want to do anything except pretend to be hopeless
and cute. Then she tells Penny that she's going to keep this shtick
up for so long that she's not going to know HOW to make an effort
when she finally decides she wants to. Penny leaves the room in
tears.
Toby has a point. I'm not denying
that. But the way she handled it was awful.
Then, because the girls from 407 are
worshipped throughout Canby, Penny decides that Toby and Andy did her
a huge favor and she'll just change her life and all her hopes and
dreams to fit in with what they want because they are the Almighty
and must be obeyed without question.
#fuck407
Penny ends up thanking Toby for being
so perceptive and Andy for being so encouraging and decides she wants
to be a writer now. Yay. I guess. {{shrug}}
We end with a typically sappy sentence:
“No one looking at the quiet campus on that late spring afternoon
would ever have believed the dreams being born and the excitement
that was exploding behind closed doors.”
#whowritesthesethings?
You know, for a book that's supposed to
be about how manipulative Penny is......she wasn't really a factor in
most of it. Weird.
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf
Award: Wow. This was hard. I feel like everyone was annoying in
this book. Oh! Randy. I give this one to Randy who is always
polite, comforting, honest and magical.
The Bitch of Baker House Award:
Another toughie since so many deserve it. I'm giving this one to
Andy because you should never submit a person's work, be it writing
or art or whatever, without their permission. It's basically
stealing.
Coming up next: A real-life
princess is headed to check Canby Hall out! And I'm sure the 407
girls will be hosting her because they are the Almighty ones.
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