Friends Times Three (book 20) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to find out which girl cheated on her boyfriend this time.

Tag Line: Are they three times the trouble?

From the Back of the Book: Some lessons are only learned one way.  The hard way.  The three roommates never thought they'd spend Christmas vacation together.  But during the holidays, when Andy and her family need extra waitresses in their restaurant, Jane and Toby fly to Chicago to help.  The girls quickly find out there's a lot more to waitressing than wearing uniforms and making tips, but Andy and Toby get the hang of it.  But Jane isn't sure she's cut out to be a waitress.  She has problems balancing trays and problems filling orders.  And once she meets Zach Foster, a handsome but opinionated boy from Chicago, her life doesn't get any easier.  Can Jane be a good waitress and a good friend with boy problems too?

As usual, the blurb isn't entirely accurate.  Andy didn't have to learn to be a waitress.  In the book she's heralded as an expert.  They can't say enough about what a fabulous waitress she is.  So there was nothing for her to get the hang of.

This book was published in 1987 and I definitely read it.  I remembered a couple of random, unimportant parts but not much of the actual story.  The ghost writer for this book was Barbara B Hiller.  I looked her up on Goodreads and only found one book. It was a “Twistaplot” which sounds like a “Choose Your Own Adventure”.

Canby Hall Catch-Up: So you all know the drill. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small town ranch girl). Jane is dating both Neal-the-blueblood and Cary-the-rock-god. Andy is dating Matt. Toby wishes she was dating Randy who has magical aging powers. In the last book, the old girls (Dana, Faith and Shelley the life-ruiners) showed up to sabotage housemother Alison's wedding because they thought they were the best people to run her life. Fortunately they failed and Alison and David managed their happily-ever-after. There. All caught up now.

We begin with our protagonists in their room celebrating the end of term. They are all headed home for Christmas break soon and are looking forward to two weeks off from school. Andy is excited about all the things she's going to do on break (see ballets, etc) but Jane is worried she'll be bored. Cary's band Ambulance has a gig in Colorado over the break so she'll be enduring stuffy Boston parties all by her lonesome. Do high school bands really get out-of-state gigs? Does this actually happen? And their parents let them go over Christmas? Sounds unrealistic to me. Especially since Ambulance is made up of boarding school kids who might not have been home since August. I'm betting their parents might actually like to see them before the new year.

The girls exchange presents. Jane got Andy and Toby art prints from her mother's gallery. Andy's is a print of ballet dancers and Toby's is a print of cattle. Andy got Jane some electric blue hair color to use for Cary's next concert and a Texas tea cup for Toby. Toby got both girls leather hand-tooled wallets.

Before the "party" ends, Andy gets a call from her dad that changes everything. His best waiter and waitress have fallen in love and eloped. They'll be spending two weeks in Jamaica for their honeymoon and Andy is going to have to pitch in with the rest of her family to take their place. No more ballet and theater for her.

Dee and Maggie pop in from their room next door. Maggie mentions that she'll be spending the first week of break at home but she's flying out to California to spend the second week with Dee. This puts an idea in Jane's brain. She proposes that she and Toby fly out to Chicago to spend the second week of break helping Andy out in the restaurant.

Annnnnnd I guess we know what the drama will be this book. Jane hasn't worked a day in her life and Toby is more at home on a horse than in an apron. I think Andy is going to regret accepting this offer of “help” but if she didn't, we wouldn't have a book.

We get our usual paragraph explaining how different the three friends are. I'm sure it was typed up and handed to each ghost writer to fit in somewhere in the first three chapters along with a footnote to mention Dana, Faith and Shelley in reverent tones as many times as possible throughout the book.  (Note from future me: Brace yourselves.  I don't think the life-ruiners were mentioned AT ALL in this book.  I feel like my entire world view has been altered and everything I thought I knew is a big lie.)

The girls go home for break and enjoy their very different lives. Toby is content with her plans and the world in general because Toby is awesome. Jane is nervous about waitressing. She's never done anything like this before and she's not sure she'll be good at it. She gets to the airport and finds out that first class has been overbooked so she can either travel coach and they'll give her three first class upgrades to use at a later date, or she can wait for the next flight and ride first class on that one. She chooses the coach/upgrade option thinking that she can use the upgrades to fly Andy and Toby back to school with her after break is over.

Jane boards the plan and is pleasantly surprised to see that the seat next to her is occupied by a gorgeous stunner named Zach Foster. She impatiently waits for him to start a conversation and wonders if he has a girlfriend. JANE. Seriously. I know you unfortunately got infected with Canby Hall Cheater Fever and it's a lifelong affliction but please at least TRY to remember you have TWO boyfriends already. Have mercy on this poor blogger who has to introduce all the recurring characters each blog. I don't want to have to remember Zach's name!!!

Zach finally speaks to her and, when he finds out she's going to Chicago to waitress, his “eyes lit up with admiration”. Really, ghost writer? Okay. Zach's apparently the easily-impressed type. To Jane's horror, he immediately goes on a two page rant about how much he hates rich people. Oh noes. Now she'll have to pretend to be poor so she can date this asshole and make me remember his name.

Jane pulls out needlepoint to distract herself while he goes on and on about how evil money is and how only rotten people have a lot of it. 

Needlepoint. 

Is this a Jane Austen book? What fifteen year old girl carries needlepoint around? How many fifteen year old girls even know what needlepoint is? This is so bizarre. 

Zach must be turned on by thread because he asks if he can see her while she's in Chicago and she just hands over Andy's phone number and address TO A COMPLETE STRANGER SHE JUST MET FIVE MINUTES AGO. If this was an episode of Dateline, she'd be dead two chapters from now.

Stupid. So stupid I can't even really form words about how very stupid it was.

But Jane says he looks “too nice” to be dangerous.

They said that about Bundy too, my love. It was kind of his bait for little empty-headed girls like you.

Jane meets up with Andy and Toby at the airport and the three of them head for Andy's house. Along the way Jane tells them about Zach and Toby tries to gently remind her of her two already-boyfriends. Jane replies that Neal is still mad about being one of two dates Jane invited to Alison's wedding and she thinks he has a crush on Toby now anyway.  Who could blame him?  I totally have a book crush on Toby.

At the restaurant, Jane and Toby get a crash course in waitressing that really doesn't sound very helpful at all. They change into their uniforms (navy skirts, light blue blouses, small white aprons and blue and white caps) and Andy proclaims them ready. No real training or anything. Uniform and done. This is going to turn out great.

The first day goes predictably awful. Jane messes up more times than I can recap and poor Toby got knocked down by a customer. They return back to Andy's house exhausted and disillusioned.

The next morning, Zach calls for Jane. He invites Jane to lunch and to the Art Institute with him. She accepts because her boyfriends are all the way in Boston and Colorado and that's way too far for her to remember that she holds their hearts in her hands. Jane briefly thinks of Cary (poor Neal) but decides that it can't be wrong to go out with Zach if she feels so happy. She borrows clothes from Toby and Andy so she doesn't look rich and away she goes.

That evening, Andy is retraining them because she did such an awful job of training them when Steve Palmer walks in. He's a waiter and he clearly has a crush on Andy WHO IS DATING MATT. I am throwing my hands up in the air, y'all. I can't believe these girls. He sings Andy's praises for a bit and then disappears into the kitchen.

That night, Andy and Steve do the smart thing and partner up with Jane and Toby to train them a little better. Steve takes Toby and Andy takes Jane. She finds she has very little patience for Jane, though. The two snap at each other all night. Jane gets through it by concentrating on her after-work date with Zach.

The next day is going to be something called a “Family Lunch”. The restaurant is closed on Wednesdays at lunch time and the staff and their families gather to test out new recipes and have a good time. Jane asks if she can bring Zach and Mrs Cord says he'll be very welcome.

Toby finds the Family Lunch a little overwhelming. She's used to a lot more silence. When everyone starts talking about their afternoon plans, Toby volunteers to watch Andy's baby sister Nancy. They bundle up and head out for the park. Toby is walking along and talking to Nancy about Jane/Zach and Andy/Steven. Before long she realizes they've been walking for an hour and a half and she's completely lost in Chicago. She panics a bit but then sees a mounted police officer and he directs her to a taxi stand where she gets a ride home. Later Andy jokes that Toby probably found the only horse in all of Chicago.

Meanwhile, Jane is spending every afternoon and every night after work with Zach and she's exhausted. To the point that she falls asleep in the break room at work and Toby has to cover two sections of the restaurant by herself. Jane wonders later why she's going from bad to worse as a waitress and Toby is handling things just fine. Well, because Toby's fucking awesome Jane and she's not sleeping through her shifts like someone I could name.

The day before New Year's Eve, Toby and Mrs Cord discuss chili. The restaurant is expecting about 250 people the next night for a buffet and Mrs Cord really wants to serve chili. She'd love to serve authentic Texas chili so Toby tells her the recipe the mess cook uses at home to the best of her ability. This is ripe for disaster. Toby doesn't usually make the chili herself and unless a person makes something themselves and makes it often, they are bound to forget an ingredient or two. She should at least call the cook and ask for the recipe but, no, the ghost writer needs some kind of conflict to make one last exciting incident before she closes up the book.  (Note from future me: there was no conflict or excitement.  It was all resolved before anything happened.)

That night Jane proves she's just not cut out to be a waitress at all. She messes up the bills, takes the wrong tray to the wrong table, gets into verbal altercations with the guests and ends up dumping an entire tray of gooey, sticky desserts on a table full of people. She realizes she's just getting worse every day instead of better and she decides to bail on her promise to help and just go home. Right before their biggest night of the year. Nice, Jane.

Zach drives Jane to the airport. He thinks she's leaving because the Cord's worked her too hard. He asks her what time her flight is leaving and she has to dig through her messy, disorganized bag to find her ticket. In the process all her credit cards fall out. Zach immediately assumes that she's stolen them. How else does a poor girl come to be in possession of gold cards? Jane reveals the cards are hers and he reads the names on them and realizes who her parents are. He makes some snide comments about how the poor little rich girl can't handle an honest day's work and she retorts that she tried but she just couldn't do it. I think she thinks she tried. I mean, I think she feels like she gave it effort but we know that wasn't really the case. She went into the whole thing thinking it was going to be fun and how awesome she was going to look for volunteering to help and feeling really good about herself. She didn't take it very seriously and then, she didn't give it real effort. Every time it got hard, she just collapsed and let Toby or Andy or Steve pick up the slack. She doesn't see it that way, but that's how it was written and presented to the rest of us.

Zach dumps Jane off at the airport and she broods for awhile about all the injustices she's suffered in this book. She thinks about changing rooms or dropping out of school because there's no way she can look Toby or Andy in the face ever again. Then she realizes she always runs away from her problems and she decides this time she's going to face them. She's hurrying through the airport to find the taxi stand when her poorly packed suitcase gives up the ghost and throws her belongings everywhere.

A basketball team from Texas stops to help her. They introduce themselves (Dan, Bob the Lobber, Sid who they call Everest because he's so tall, Rebound Pete, Buck as in Buckingham Palace because he's the guard, and PeeWee because at 6'1” he's the shortest). Jane says she can't possibly be taxed to remember all the names of people who will only be in the book for a chapter or two so Dan says they all answer to “Tex”. They've been stranded in Chicago by mechanical failure and the airport booked them rooms but they ask Jane if she knows where they can get some food and have some fun. Boy, does she!!!

Yee Haw!

Jane brings the collective Tex to the restaurant where the chili is simmering. One of them sniffs the air and says it doesn't smell right. He asks Toby if she put the cumin in and, of course, it's the one thing she forgot. Deus ex Tex. They all troop into the kitchen to offer chili suggestions and the disaster is averted and wrapped up in about four sentences. The crowd that night is bigger than the expected and Toby and “Tex” are extremely busy making new batches of chili to feed everyone. At one point they run out of onions and Toby suggests that “Tex” ask Andy or Steve to go down to the basement storeroom to get more. Charlie (Andy's brother) goes to find Andy and unbeknownst to anyone, a Tex goes to find Steve. 

Oooooooooooooooh. I bet you can't predict what's going to happen. I mean it's only 100 fucking percent obvious.

Sure enough, Andy and Steve manage to get themselves locked down in the basement together.

THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED!!

They end up talking and they have a bunch in common. Steve loves ballet and wants to be a musician. Andy loves music and wants to be a ballerina. Clearly they are destined to be together forever.  By the time Charlie comes looking for them a few minutes later, they have a date to see a ballet during Spring Break and Matt can just stick that in his eye!

At some point during the evening, Toby gets a call from Neal. He offers to pick the three of them up from the airport and then asks Toby if she'll go get pizza with him afterwards. Toby accepts. This is not a case of Canby Hall Cheater Fever because Toby has a crush on Randy but they are not going out. In fact, he's made it pretty clear that romance can never happen between them. Although, I will note that it's a bit weird of Toby to be dating Neal while Neal is still somewhat attached to Jane. I mean, he's currently mad at her and I think they mostly decided to just be friends, but the whole thing is murky and undefined really.

The next day it's time to head back to Canby Hall. Jane surprises Andy and Toby with their first class upgrades. I'm still trying to figure out how this worked. If they were Jane's upgrades, wouldn't she have to buy Toby and Andy's tickets in order to apply them? Maybe things worked different back in the 80's. I'm willing to go along with that. The enjoy the fruits of first class and Jane remarks that she never really thought about the people who served her and how much hard work it really was. She vows to pay more attention to the little people from now on. {delicate sniff}

The girls discuss their New Year's resolutions. Jane says hers is to be more honest with herself. I really think hers should be to respect Cary, but whatever. Andy resolves to be more honest with others. Which doesn't even make a huge amount of sense. She reaches this resolution because she wasn't honest with how she felt about Steve but it's not like she was lying to him and telling him she hated him when she secretly loved him. THAT would be her being dishonest with others. What she's describing is being dishonest with HERSELF.

You know, I just realized Jane and Andy made each other's resolutions. Jane's should have been to be honest with others because she is continually lying to people (about how many dates she has to a dance or wedding or how much money she has or how much work experience she has for instance). Andy's should have been to be honest with herself because she ignores her own feelings a lot of the time. Silly ghost writer. Pay attention, would ya?

Toby says her resolution is to work on her attitude. She often thinks that the way things are in Texas should be the way they are everywhere else and she wants to work on that. I totally love Toby, y'all.

All Canby Hall books seem to end with a sentence so corny that I just want to die. This one is no exception. Toby remarks that she could get used to First Class. Jane replies that there's a problem with that.

“There's no such thing as First Class at Canby Hall.”

“Oh, yes there is,” Toby corrected her. “There's First Class friendship and you can't ask for anything better than that!”

Oh, mercy. I think my book crush just died.

Queen of the Book Award: Y'all, it's honestly Toby again.  She volunteered to help Andy's family out and then ACTUALLY made an effort to do the job and be helpful.  

The Bitch of Baker House Award: It's going to Jane this time.  She did a half-assed job at the restaurant that just made more work for everyone else.  Instead of trying to improve, she just gave up and ran away.  Super unhelpful.  Plus, she cheated on Cary.  AGAIN.

Coming Up Next:  Jane's family is throwing her a super proper party {delicate sniff} and her unsophisticated roommates are sure to ruin the proper-ness with their urban and rural ways.  Whatever will poor Jane do?

Something Old, Something New (Super Edition) by Emily Chase

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know who the life ruiner is this book.

Tag Line: Here comes the wedding.  But where is the bride.

From the Back of the Book: Will too many roommates spoil the wedding?  Andy, Jane and Toby are planning their housemother's wedding, but Dana, Faith and Shelley, the old Baker 407 girls, have other ideas.  Sparks are flying!  Will six roommates, three old and three new, keep the bride from walking down the aisle?

Both the tag line and the blurb are inaccurate.  The bride wasn't the one missing at the wedding and the girls were NOT planning Alison's wedding.  I know it's small, but it really bugs me when the things on the outside of the book are wrong.  It shows a lack of attention and care that never bodes well for the book itself.

This cover marks Toby's first appearance without her cowboy hat.  You should mark down the date so we can celebrate it next year.

I had to provide the back cover for this one.  I didn't want you to miss out on the glory of our exalted "old" girls.  We can worship them from up close now instead of afar.  Oh, and the picture of the old girls isn't accurate either.  That hat was not a part of the wedding attire and Faith has different hair.  I give up.

This book came out in 1986.  I remember the cover but not the actual book.  (Note from future me: I don't think I ever read this one.  I didn't remember a single thing from it.)

The ghostwriter for this book is Carol White. I tried to look her up on Goodreads but not much came up. I hope that isn't an omen.

We begin with our protagonists Jane, Toby and Andy walking across campus discussing the weather and it's every bit as fascinating as it sounds. They review how different they are (Jane – preppy, Toby – hick, Andy – black) and then we settle into Toby's head for a spell. She throws a penny into the wishing well and wishes that Randy (the local cowboy who is suddenly 20 again) will realize that she's not too young for him. Except she is. In an illegal kind of way.

PA, the headmistress, appears and asks them if they've signed up for the annual Leaf Rake. It's two hours of leaf-raking on a Saturday morning that begins at 7am so, of course, they haven't signed up. Toby blurts out that they were just on their way to do so and her roommates start secretly plotting her demise. Toby points out that it will get Alison (the housemother) off the hook because she's only managed to get two sign-ups from Baker House so far.

Andy, the gossip queen of Baker House, says that Alison has been far too busy traveling back and forth to Boston to recruit leaf-rakers. Andy doesn't know what Alison is doing, but she goes to Boston every single weekend instead of spending time with her boyfriend Michael (school counselor) and it's suspicious. The other girls immediately assume that Alison is cheating on Michael because that's what girls at Canby Hall do. Every single one of them. They all cheat.

The girls go to sign up for the Leaf Rake and there's a notice on the bulletin board from Alison saying that there's a house meeting that evening because she has an important announcement.

We skip to dinner. The girls pick a table in the dining hall and are soon joined by Dee and Maggie (next door neighbors and friends). They all rag about the food a bit and then theorize over what the house meeting is going to be about. Jane thinks Alison got a new job. Andy thinks Alison got a new boyfriend (although why she'd hold a house meeting about that is beyond me). Maggie thinks Alison and Michael are engaged. Andy shoots that down. She says that lately Alison has been floating on air while Michael looks like he's drowning in a bog. She says she knows all about these romance things. Maggie takes this opportunity to tease Andy about Matt (boy from Oakley who did the lights for Andy's recital in the last book) and Jane and Toby are surprised. Apparently they didn't know about him. Which seems wrong. Continuity is always an issue when each book is written by a different person.

The house meeting starts ten minutes late. Alison is perpetually late. She announces that she will be leaving Canby Hall at the end of the term because she's getting married. Everyone starts to bizarrely chant Michael's name and Alison has to shut it down. She's marrying some guy named David who lives in Boston and is a news anchor. She invites all the girls to the wedding which will be held in the chapel on campus the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

Dana is to be Alison's maid of honor and Faith and Shelley are invited too so we don't have to merely worship them from afar as we usually do. Goody.

We land in Dana's head now and the only good thing about that is she's currently in Hawaii. I've never been so I'm living vicariously through a fictional character. She's thrilled to be Alison's maid-of-honor but devastated that Alison isn't marrying Michael. She volunteers to make the phone calls to Faith and Shelley which....it's Alison's news to share and she should get to share it, but whatever. She calls Faith who is just as surprised that Michael got dumped as Dana was. Faith offers to call Shelley so Dana's dad won't kill her over the phone bill.

We jump out of Dana's head and land in Shelley's. Probably my least favorite head of Canby Hall because Shelley is my least favorite character of Canby Hall. And that's saying a lot because a lot of these people are plain awful. True to form, Shelley demands to know who David is and why he dares to think he can marry Alison.

I bet you that I can predict the rest of this book. Dana, Faith and Shelley will come to town and try to convince Alison not to marry David because they always think they know best and they want her with Michael. Jane, Toby and Andy, however, will probably be pro-David because the author needs some reason for the six girls to fight with each other and this is convenient. I'm sure they'll get paired off too (because they're literally the same people with different names). Faith and Andy will be at war because they're the two black characters. Shelley and Toby will be at war because they're the two farm girls. Dana and Jane will be at war because they're the two sophisticated characters. And we'll be miserably stuck in the middle just trying to get through this book so we can get the old hags back out of Dodge where we can simply be forced to worship them endlessly but not actually have to deal with them much.

Toby is concerned that she doesn't have anything appropriate to wear. Jane and Andy offer to give her a make-over. Considering Jane and Andy's vastly different styles, I can't see this going well.

Saturday morning dawns and the girls get up to rake the leaves. Alison is there too and they can't help but notice how happy she looks. They are just finishing up when David arrives. He and Alison are clearly in love and extremely happy and the girls end up feeling okay about things.

After raking, they go to the mall to find Toby a dress. As predicted, they bicker over what store to go in. Andy wants something punk but Jane reminds her that they're shopping for a wedding. Jane picks the store and, after getting a general idea of what kinds of fabrics and colors Toby likes, she picks out two outfits for her. One involves dressy pants and the other a skirt. Toby likes the skirt outfit best but is having fun trying on clothes and being the center of attention, so she asks Jane to bring her some dresses.

She's doing all sorts of twists and turns and generally acting silly in a fancy blue dress with sequins when she happens to look outside the store window to see Randy staring at her. Completely embarrassed, she goes back inside the fitting room and has a good cry. Jane heads to the register with the skirt outfit and Randy comes over to ask if Toby's okay. Jane says she was just embarrassed to be seen acting silly and Randy asks her to pass on the message that Toby looked really pretty in the dress.

I love Randy.

Sunday morning, Randy calls the room and invites Toby to go riding. She's thrilled. She really enjoys spending time with Randy on the ranch. They ride for awhile and then stop to let the horses rest a bit. Toby tells him about Alison's wedding and then mentions that Dana, Faith and Shelley will be returning for the ceremony. Randy goes pale. He tells her he used to date Dana and when Toby asks if he'll want to see her while she visits, Randy replies that Hawaii is just the right amount of distance between him and Dana. Which just makes me want to hug him, this magical age-defying man, because that's how I feel about her too.

Toby suddenly feels jealous. She wonders what Dana is like and decides that she's one of those perfect girls that guys fall all over constantly. She's never met Dana, but she wants to BE her and it's sad. Toby is perfect as she is. She's my favorite of all six of them because she's just kind.

Now we're in Jane's head and she's in the basement of Cary's (Jane's best boyfriend) dorm listening to his band Ambulance rehearse. She's surprised by her interest considering a few short months ago she found rock music “raw and crude” and rock musicians ten times worse. Cary's the bomb though and even proper Jane can admit it.

Jane's been up all night trying to decide what to do about Alison's wedding. Or more specific, who to do Alison's wedding with. Her first thought is proper Neal (Jane's boring boyfriend). He's from a proper Boston family and wouldn't do anything to embarrass her. He'd dress appropriately and act appropriately and he'd be thrilled that he was the one she chose for such an “important event”. Cary, on the other hand, is the most “dreadfully wrong” person she could invite. He'd embarrass her with his rocker attire and earring and probably with his behavior. Which is a pretty ridiculous assumption. His family is proper Bostonian and I'm sure he knows how to clean up and act at formal events.

Finally, she graciously decides that she's going to bestow the coveted invitation to Cary despite her enormous misgivings and thoughts of how much it will disappoint Neal not to attend. I have NO idea why she thinks Neal would be so disappointed not to be invited to a wedding of two people he doesn't know at all. He's a teenage boy. Why would he want to go? Jane thinks pretty highly of herself and how much her company is valued. Cary proves me right by acting like a normal teenage boy and saying he'd really rather not go, which causes Jane to fantasize about smashing a cream pie in his face.

That's a bizarre reaction to the circumstances.

She bursts into tears and runs from the room. She expects him to follow her out, repentant for his horrible ways, but he doesn't. Because he's a teenage boy and all he did was say he didn't want to go to a wedding.

Weeks pass. It's almost Thanksgiving and Alison finds herself overwhelmed with wedding preparations. The “old” girls are due in the next day and she's nervous about what they'll think of David when they all loved Michael so much. She's on the phone being all lovey dovey with David when someone knocks on her door. She opens it to find three girls with their hair up in towel turbans and mud masks covering their faces. She doesn't recognize them at first but then realizes it's the exalted Dana, Faith and Shelley and life can begin again because the sun has returned to Massachusetts.

Faith has notably changed her hairstyle from her customary Afro to cornrows with gold beads. So.....not like the person on the back cover. I get that cover artists don't have time to actually read all the books they draw for, but you'd think the actual author could provide an accurate description of her characters.

Shelley gets right to the point and asks Alison if she ever really loved Michael. It's an awkward moment and Alison stammers a bit before telling them not to ask her questions she can't answer. I'm sure they'll take that to mean that she still loves him. They stay up all night talking and then sleep late the next day.

As soon as they are up and dressed, they drop by Room 407. They are dismayed to see the black walls have been repainted and the mattresses are no longer on the floors. They are making fun of the room and its occupants when Jane arrives and overhears them. She's not amused {delicate sniff}. Especially when they start in on poor Toby's tea bag. The older girls offer a half-hearted apology and leave. Dana and Shelley decide to find Maggie and partake in a Canby Hall lunch for old time's sake. Faith isn't insane, so she goes down to the vending machines in the basement to get a Snickers and a Tab.

Andy is at the machine in front of her and greets Faith warmly. The two of them met in the book about the dance recital where Faith told Andy that Canby Hall was the most unprejudiced place on earth. Andy is glad to see Faith and mentions it's nice to have a little color around the place. Faith pretends she has no idea what Andy's talking about and says she never felt like the odd one out at Canby. She is really condescending and unlikable here. And A LIAR. Clearly Faith has developed selective amnesia and the ghost writer hasn't read the first part of this series. Andy gets tired of Faith's superior attitude and tells her that maybe she's just forgotten what it feels like to be black since she's turned “beige” from being around the white folk so long.

Ouch.

And awkward.

Later that afternoon, Maggie talks Dana into helping her dye her hair blue. Dana is hesitant but Maggie assures her it will be easy and mess-free. She's a liar too. Toby walks in to find half the bathroom and both Morrison girls covered in blue-black dye. As she's helping them clean up, she mentions seeing Alison and David walking together on campus looking very much in love. Dana counters that she doesn't think it's love at all. It's attraction. Love takes time and the two of them have only known each other a few months. She thinks Alison is dazzled by David's “fame” and will eventually come to her senses.

I'm pretty pleased that my predictions are coming true so far.

Dana goes running the next morning and finds her feet automatically taking her to Randy's ranch because she hasn't hurt him for the last time yet. She's sitting by a tree staring at his house when he rides up on his horse. At first he's cold and unhappy to see her but they talk awhile and then he surprises her by trying to kiss her. She rebuffs him and he takes off again. On her way back to the dorm, she sees Toby on her way out to the ranch and wonders what she could possibly be doing.

Toby finds Randy in the hayloft looking depressed and upset. She asks him what's wrong and he tells her he just needs to be alone for awhile. Toby is an honest to God genuinely nice person so she doesn't get offended. She respects his need for space and simply leaves wishing she could comfort him somehow. As she heads back home, she puts two and two together and realizes Dana must have upset Randy somehow. She feels really protective of him, which is super sweet.

I guess I should try to explain the Randy-Dana thing since it's come up and I didn't recap those books. Dana met Randy soon after coming to Canby. He fell super hard for her and she let him think the feeling was mutual. But Canby Hall has some kind of contagious cheater-fever or something which causes all the inhabitants to act like bitches and date as many boys simultaneously as humanly possible, so Dana also began a relationship with a boy named Bret. Who ironically cheated on her the whole time too. She dated Randy when it served her purpose and then dumped him when someone else seemed more fun and then returned to him when she got bored. This continued for the entire series until he broke it off with her which she seemed really confused by because she thinks pretty highly of herself. Poor Randy.

I also have to explain Shelley's love life because it's come up as well. This one would be worse if I loved any of the boys as much as I love Randy. Shelley arrived at Canby as a sophomore seriously “committed” to a boy back home named Paul. Like, we're going to be married after graduation committed. But she became infected with cheater-fever as well and ended up dating Tom (and Randy! and a few others) while remaining in a relationship with Paul. She's still “with” both of them, having a relationship with Paul in person and Tom by letter. Oh, and she's also seeing some guy named Mark at school so I guess you never really get over the cheater-fever once infected. Now Tom has stopped writing and Shelley is stalking him to find out why. It turns out he is “cheating” on Shelley with a girl named Cynthia. She's irritated because she can have three boyfriends but each of them must remain 100% devoted to her and only her.

Do you see why I hate these girls?

Shelley reports back to Dana and Faith about Tom's betrayal and they make fun of Cynthia for wearing babyish clothes for awhile.  She had ducks on her socks or something like that.  They're so awful. Dana reminds them that they are supposed to be meeting Jane, Andy and Toby to plan out Alison's shower and Faith is instantly annoyed. She doesn't see why the “new” girls think they should be involved in the shower planning because clearly the “old” girls know Alison better and have more right. Dana says the shower was the “new” girls idea, but Faith doesn't think that matters at all.

It's clear from the outset that things are not going to go well. They begin fighting over the pizza order until Toby suggests a reasonable compromise. Then they bicker over the theme of the shower, the gifts and the location. The “old” girls are smug and superior and “new” girls are a little childish. Not much gets actually decided and they set up another meeting for the next day so they all have time to think of more ideas.

Later that night, Andy tells her roommates that they're going to the theater. Jane doesn't want to go. She's seen the movie and she has French notecards to make. Toby doesn't want to go because she just wants to be lazy. Andy insists. She's heard Alison making plans with David to go and she wants to get there and sit in front of them (in disguise) in an effort to see how David treats Alison when no one else is around.  I guess they forgot that they had no reservations about him left after the Leaf Rake.  Their disguises consist of long gray beards, thick glasses, long black robes and red stocking caps with tassels. They even make up a “language”.

Alison realizes who they are pretty quickly and lets David in on it. They decide to have some fun with it. David starts going on and on about how Alison is going to be the perfect “wifey” and keep his house and raise mushrooms and darn his socks. The girls are getting angrier and angrier. Then he tells her that she can't have the girls visit because they might put ideas in her head and the girls break character to confront him. Alison and David start laughing and the girls know they've been had.

After the girls remove their disguises, the five of them go for a walk and then out for ice cream. Alison and David reassure the girls that they've talked everything through and have agreed on a true 50/50 partnership. They've discussed Alison going back for an advanced degree and who will stay home with any future babies. The girls are left feeling much better about David and the marriage as a whole.  Again.  For the second time.  

At some point, Dana and Toby run into each other at the lockers. I'm not sure where the lockers even are, but Dana is trying to open her old locker with no luck. Toby has gone to her extra locker (she was mistakenly assigned two) to retrieve her dressy, fancy boots for the shower. They talk briefly and Toby kind of opens Dana's eyes to how Randy might be feeling. Yes, he's the one who walked away but it wasn't because he stopped loving Dana. It was because she's an awful bitch. Dana considers this for awhile and feels like it adds an enticing layer to Randy. She thinks she might be ready to chew up his heart and spit it out again.

Talk turns to Alison's wedding and Dana admits that she wants David to disappear so Alison can be with Michael forever. She doesn't give a damn what Alison wants or what's best for Alison because she KNOWS BETTER. Toby again tries to get Dana to look at things from Alison's perspective and says that she and David seem very, very much in love but Dana doesn't accept this.

The “old” girls head up to Alison's room for a Meet David Brunch just in time to witness one of those little spats that happen when two people are nervous and stressed. David storms out, more embarrassed than mad and the girls rush in to “help”. Faith is the voice of reason. She says people get that way before weddings sometimes and it doesn't mean anything really. Dana, however, jumps in to suggest that Alison and David are moving too fast and this whole thing might be a mistake. Alison reveals that she's been with David a lot longer than anyone knows. Apparently cheater-fever struck her too and she was seeing David long before she broke up with Michael. Nice.

Alison says the romance went out of her relationship with Michael a long time ago. Toward the end, they only talked about work and there was just no spark. Shelley points out that the spark goes out of every relationship eventually and wonders if Alison thinks she's in love with David simply because the relationship is new and sparky. Alison eventually waves away all their protests and says the wedding is going to happen no matter what. She doesn't seem as confident as she did before though and the girls wonder if they might be meddling too much.

YA THINK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

After the failed brunch, the “old” girls race to meet the “new” girls for the second shower planning meeting and they are running late again because they really don't care about anyone but themselves. The tension in the room is thick with everyone except Toby who is just too damn likable for anyone to be mad at. She tells the “old” girls that Jane has come up with a great idea for the shower gift. They'll use the old poem “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue” to base their gifts on. Since there are four categories and six of them, they'll put slips in a hat and draw. If two girls get the same slip, they'll buy their present as a team. Shelley is the only one who draws Something Blue and Toby is alone with Something Borrowed. Jane and Dana draw Something Old so that leaves Andy and Faith to grab Something New.

Jane and Dana make their way through the antique shops and vintage stores. They finally decide on an antique silk camisole that is over 100 years old. It's beautiful and they know it will appeal to Alison's retro style.

Toby finds the perfect thing to loan Alison among her belongings. We don't get to hear what it is yet. She frets that the “sophisticated” girls won't understand it, but she thinks Alison will and that's all that matters.

Shelley knows that Alison and David are taking a delayed honeymoon to Jamaica, so she's determined to get a pair of blue fins and a snorkel at the local sporting goods store. Unfortunately she forgot it's November in Massachusetts and such items would be a little hard to find. Added to that, the person minding the store is none other than Cynthia, Tom's new girlfriend who is currently in a teddy bear sweater. Shelley is pretty rude to her initially but Cynthia stays her sweet self and eventually her charm wears away Shelley's bitchiness. Mostly. They go down to the unorganized store room to look for the fins and Shelley discovers that not only is Cynthia a really nice person, but the childish clothes are hand-me-downs that Cynthia is forced to wear because her family is too poor to buy new clothes. 

Andy and Faith patch things up while doing the mall crawl. Andy admits she was out of line with the beige comment and Faith admits she had selective amnesia during that conversation. They find the perfect gift for Alison – a talking toaster that announces when the toast is done. While waiting for it to be gift wrapped, they run into Michael. He looks miserable and the girls feel super sorry for him.

On the way to the shower, the predicted thing happens. Dana comments that they have to help Alison get out of this wedding. Shelley immediately agrees. Faith chimes in and says she thinks they saw the “real” David and the other girls just saw a man trying to impress them. Jane snaps that Alison invited them to celebrate her wedding and now they are trying to undermine Alison's choice like evil bitches. She calls them bad friends.

When they get to the venue (a hippie cafe), Cary is waiting in the doorway. Jane is embarrassed after Dana makes a crack about him being one of the “weird types” that hang around a place like this. Cary asks to speak to her alone. He apologizes and says he was thinking too much of how he dislikes going to weddings and not enough about her feelings. He says the only important thing is that she wanted him there and he asks for forgiveness. This is where Jane SHOULD have mentioned that she invited Neal and Neal said yes, but she gets distracted by Cary's kiss and doesn't bother.

Sigh.

They go through the shower (which is only attended by the six of them – the truly think they're the most important people in Alison's world) and spend a lot of time talking about Canby Hall. Then they do cake and open gifts. Toby's something borrowed is a rusty horseshoe that nearly killed her once. She figures the fact it didn't means it's truly lucky. Alison hands it back and says she's been thinking that she should postpone the wedding. On the day before the wedding. Dana rushes to say she agrees and Jane yells at her for interfering. Andy reassures Alison that everyone gets nervous on the night before the wedding and Faith interrupts to say that Andy and Jane aren't being honest. Alison and David have REAL ISSUES that they need to address. Shelley chimes in and says they aren't just talking about a wedding, they are talking about a marriage!!!! Won't somebody think about the marriage?!?!?!?!?  Finally Alison throws her hands up in the air and tells them to leave her alone and let her think.

The “new” girls accuse the “old” girls of coming to town and ruining Alison's life. The “old” girls accuse the “new” girls of being too immature to see the real issue. A fight breaks out that ends with Shelley shoving a piece of cake in Jane's face (what is with this author and shoving dessert in people's faces???). Which is definitely MATURE behavior, amirite???

The six of them walk back to Baker House in tense silence. Upon arrival, the security desk tells them that there's a package for the “old girls of 407”. It turns out to be a video tape of David doing a mock new story where he reports he acted like a complete jerk and hopes they'll forgive him. The “old” girls aren't completely convinced yet and the “new” girls are exasperated at their pig-headedness.

Faith decides to splinter off and go see Michael. She's anxious to hear his side of things.

The remaining girls head upstairs. Dana and Shelley decide they'll have to sleep on Maggie's floor since Alison asked for privacy. The phone is ringing in 407 when they reach the 4^th floor. Toby runs to answer it and it's Randy but he's calling for Dana.

Ouch.

She handles it with grace though.

Dana agrees to meet him and the two of them drive down to the creek. Randy confesses that he got caught up in nostalgia the other day and apologizes for trying to kiss her. Dana says she understands and she's been thinking of him a lot lately. Randy sensibly replies that she's just getting caught up in nostalgia too. If she really thinks about it, small town life....and a small town man....aren't really exciting enough for her. She protests that they might be. He says he doesn't want to start anything back up with her unless she's going to stay. So she kisses him, sending him the signal that she's going to do just that. Randy's been down the road of “Dana's mixed signals” before though and asks her point blank if this means she's staying to be with him. She says she has to think about it.

THEN WHY DID YOU KISS HIM, BITCH?

Poor Randy.

Faith sits down to cocoa with Michael in his kitchen and finds that things aren't as the “old” girls assumed. Not only is Michael okay with Alison's marriage, he's met David and thinks the two of them are perfect for each other. And he's in a new relationship himself. Hopefully with someone who lives off campus so she won't catch cheater-fever and betray him like Alison did. Faith asks him why he's looked so miserable lately and he says he had four wisdom teeth pulled. He's been miserable but only from a dentistry standpoint.

Faith asks him to prove he's in a new relationship and he calls a woman named Rita in from the study where she's been sitting grading papers while he was having cocoa with Nosy Nancy. Rita's a teacher too but at Greenleaf High so she lives in town. Hopefully that's far enough away from the contagion. Faith ends up liking Rita a lot and is happy to hear Michael insinuate that they might be engaged soon.

Faith makes it back to room 409 (How did she know to go there? Didn't they make that decision after she left?) and gives Dana a whispered report since everyone else is asleep. Man, they go to sleep early in Massachusetts. Dana finally admits that she, Faith and Shelley came to town and wrecked things. Faith tells her to go talk to Alison and fix things before it's too late.

No pressure, Dana.

As Dana heads for the top floor, she realizes someone is just ahead of her. It's Toby who has come to try to talk to Alison too. She's surprised to hear that Dana has come over from the Dark Side. Alison lets them in and it's clear she's been crying for hours. They sit down just as the phone begins to ring. At that hour it can only be David and they all know it. Alison doesn't answer, though. Toby asks how many times he's called and Alison says eleven. The girls give her their spiel about how she should give him another chance because clearly it was just a case of nerves (like the “new” girls have been saying ALL ALONG). Alison says she already came to that conclusion and she's not going to postpone the wedding after all. SO ANSWER THE PHONE.

The morning of the wedding dawns gray and wet. It matches Jane's mood. She finally 'fesses up that she has two dates. Again. Didn't this JUST happen a book or so ago? Sheesh. Toby tells her the honest thing to do is tell Cary that she promised to go with Neal first. Jane pouts and says she'd rather go with Cary and Neal's train doesn't leave for an hour so she has time to fake a stomach ache. Toby doesn't dignify this nonsense with a response.

Jane goes to call Cary but his roommate Stu says that Cary is out picking up his tux for the wedding.  (Note from future me: this is inaccurate.  He only picked up a dinner jacket and wore it with nice jeans.)  Jane feels awful. She returns to the room in time for Alison to call and ask if they want to help her get ready for the wedding. All three girls rush to Alison's room. Jane vows to straighten things up with Cary later.

Sure she will.

There's a flurry of activity as they get Alison washed and polished up. Then everyone has to rush to get dressed themselves. Finally, just as they're about to walk out the door, PA shows up. She tells them that there's a line at the end of the traditional wedding poem that they based their shower gifts on. The last line is “And a six pence in her shoe”. She presents Alison with the six pence and mentions how hard it has been to interview for her replacement.

As they head to the chapel, the rain ends and a stunning rainbow appears. Because of course it does. This IS fiction after all. There's only one small problem to mar the day. The groom doesn't show up. Everyone tries to keep Alison calm but by 45 minutes past wedding time, she's losing all hope. Suddenly they hear hoof beats and Randy rides in to save the day AGAIN. He has David in a tux on the back of his horse. Apparently David's car broke down on the highway and Randy somehow found him and brought him to the church.  Because Randy's just awesome like that.

The wedding goes off with no more impediments. There's not a dry eye in the house. Afterwards, Jane is forced to deal with Neal and Cary who sat together at the wedding. They're both furious with her and stomp off leaving her dateless for the reception. Good for them.

There's some racist comment about black people being the only ones who really know how to cook ribs and then the reception begins. Dana spends the whole time talking to the best man Vince who is also from New York. She doesn't bother with poor Randy who is eating dinner with Toby. Because Dana's a heart-chewing bitch.

Cary shows up at the reception. He says he's just there for the food and the band. Jane asks if Neal came back too and Cary says Neal was super hurt and already boarded a train for home. She feels bad but since Cary is the date she wanted anyway, she gets over it fast. I have NO IDEA why he is forgiving her. She's just going to keep doing this to him. I keep hoping he really WAS just hungry.

The reception ends and everyone is friends again. The six girls of 407 get together on Sunday before the “old” girls leave and it's only then that I realize how very little time Dana spent with her sister Maggie in this book. Lucky Maggie.

The book ends with these actual words: “Out onto the front lawn of Baker House, where all six of them tumbled into a huge pile of leaves, laughter and friendship.”

Oh, gag me.

Queen of the Book Award: Not to sound like a broken record, but it totally goes to Toby again. She was the only one throughout the whole book that actually considered other people's feelings and did what was best for them and not herself.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: This is a hard one. So many deserve it. I'm going to go with Dana here. Not only did she completely toy with Randy and get his hopes up only to completely ignore him through the entire reception, but she was the first to suggest that they break up the wedding and the first to encourage Alison's doubts and fears. She had help, but she was the instigator so she gets the award.

Final Thoughts: This book was pretty predictable as evidenced by the fact that all my early predictions (except the Toby/Shelley thing) came true. I should have known not to bet against Toby. I hate the “old” girls with a passion (which is why I started this blog with the “new” girls), so I knew this book was going to be a huge pain in my ass. It didn't disappoint. P.S. I'm still Team Cary. Yes, he acted like a 15 year old boy in this book because he IS A 15 YEAR OLD BOY.

Coming up next: Toby and Jane are headed to Chicago over Christmas Break to help out in Andy's family's restaurant. I can just picture proper Jane slinging ribs. {delicate sniff}

One Boy Too Many (Book 19) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a bitch for 90% of the book this time.

Tag Line: Two boys are twice the fun....and twice the trouble.  (Well, that's awful.)

From the Back of the Book:  Boys have feelings too.  Jane Barrett is in real trouble - boy trouble.  If Neal isn't sending her flowers from Boston, then Cary, a local student, is asking her for a date.  Jane's friends can't believe Neal and Cary don't know about each other, but Jane can't find a way to tell them. Jane's roommates are no comfort at all.  Andy, wrapped up in tryouts for the school musical, thinks Jane is being dishonest.  Toby, busy with tennis lessons, doesn't realize there's a problem.  But when Neal visits Canby Hall, Jane can no longer hide the truth.  Will she lose both boys when they find out about each other?

This book was published in 1986.  I don't know if I read it back in the day. I read most of them but occasionally didn't have the allowance saved up to buy one when it came out. The cover doesn't look familiar at all. Speaking of the cover.....that can't be Cary. Jane described him last book as having the longest hair she's ever seen on a boy. If that's the longest hair she's ever seen on a boy, she's led an extremely narrow existence. I'm guessing the cover artists have the same continuity disease that the ghost writers suffer from.  Also, do the artists think that every person from Texas continually wears a cowboy hat?  This is getting ridiculous.

The author of this book was not credited on the copyright page. I googled until my fingers fell off, but I couldn't find out which Ghostie wrote this book.  For some reason, this frustrated me to no end.

We begin with one of our three protagonists – Toby Houston. She has the duty of reviewing with us the events that happened in the first book and her life before Canby Hall. In case you forgot: she's a cowgirl from Texas who likes to be outside, the girls didn't get along at all at first, they put on a big happy-roommate show for Andy's family, Toby tried to run away and then everything was solved in about two paragraphs and the girls are now the best of friends.

Toby also reminds us of Randy Crowell who suffers from some kind of age disturbance. She tells us that he's four years older which would make him 19 except he clearly said he was 20 last book and three or four books ago he was 23. I wish I lived in this universe where I could be any age I chose that day. She's headed out to his ranch to see him but when she gets there, he's nowhere to be found and she's bitterly disappointed.

Now we hop over to our second protagonist – Andy Cord. She's tasked with reviewing the décor of the room. Needlepoint bedspread and Persian rug for Jane, modern earth-tone stripes for Andy and army blanket for Toby. She also mentions Toby's tea bag which still hasn't been explained. Having caught us up on the room again, she changes into a leotard and begins stretching while reading her English Lit assignment.

Jane Barrett comes in and the two girls discuss the Toby/Randy situation for a bit. Toby has a huge crush on Randy but Randy thinks she's too young for him. Maybe she just needs some of his age morphing beef jerky and all will be well.

Andy tells Jane that she's going to audition for the holiday musical and Jane says she'll be there to cheer Andy on. Andy can barely think of anything else. She hopes to be a prima ballerina someday and she sees this as a first step to achieving that dream. She's reaching a bit but I think it's exactly what a real teenager would think, so no snark from me.

Someone comes to their door to tell them that their phone is apparently out of order and Jane has a phone call downstairs. Jane's whole being lights up thinking it's Cary but then she hears it's long distance which means that it's Neal and she dims. Andy reviews Cary for us as well – long brown hair, earring, punk clothes, leather jacket. You know.....EXACTLY like the guy on the cover. {sarcasm}

We jump into Toby's head for a few paragraphs. She's still hanging around Randy's ranch. She hears hammering and realizes there's work being done on the new stables so she decides to check that out. One of the workers recognizes her and tells her that Randy has gone to play tennis with a friend. Toby thinks it's pretty astounding that anyone would choose to play tennis when they could be riding a horse but the worker tells her that Randy's really good at it and he enjoys playing on the rare days that he has a little free time. As she heads back to the dorms, she thinks about taking up tennis so she and Randy can spend more time together.

Back with Jane, she hangs up the phone right as Dee and Maggie walk by. They are the roommates from the next room over in case you don't remember them. Dee asks if something is wrong and Jane replies that Neal was upset that she didn't want to go home to Boston that weekend. Neal had scored some concert tickets and he wanted Jane to go but she turned him down. I don't know what reason she gave Neal, but everyone knows she turned him down to go out with Cary instead. Everyone except Neal anyway. Dee asks what Neal thinks of her dating Cary and Jane acts shocked at the suggestion that Neal would know. When she tells Dee that Cary is a secret that Neal would never understand, Dee gets extremely judgmental and calls Jane a liar right to her face. Jane yells that Dee doesn't know what she's talking about but Dee's 100% right. Jane owes it to poor Neal.....and Cary....to straighten this out.

I hate cheaters and this school (and series) is full of them.

Back in the room, Jane complains to Andy about Dee poking her nose in everyone's business. Andy points out that Jane isn't really being fair to anyone by keeping Cary a secret. Jane replies that things are different in Boston. I guess I should keep my ass out of that city. She says that everyone expects her to be Neal's girlfriend because everyone expects them to get married someday.  She can't just break up with him because it will destroy so many lives.  None of this makes much sense to Andy....or me....because we live in America where arranged marriages are pretty much a thing of the past and people generally choose their own life-mate.

We briefly land in Toby's head where she tells us that she's going to talk to the tennis coach at Canby the next day about joining the tennis team.  That was fast.  This Randy must be all kinds of delicious since a few pages ago she couldn't even imagine wanting to play tennis over riding.

The next day, Toby skips out of study hall to go talk to the tennis coach. She sees Dee playing and then runs into Gigi (Jane's former roommate and awful-est girl at Canby Hall). She describes Gigi as having big hips and wearing way too much makeup. So she must be pure evil, yo. We all know big hips and heavy eyeliner are signs of satan. Too late Toby realizes that PA (the headmaster) is also at the courts and she's spotted before she can retreat. PA knows she not in the class. Apparently she has class schedules for hundreds and hundreds of students committed completely to her formidable memory. Toby admits that she skipped class and PA tells her to use proper channels and make an appointment to talk to the coach so she isn't interrupting instruction time.

Andy, meanwhile, has a serious case of butterflies thinking about the audition. She finally calls home to talk to her parents. She says she doesn't have a chance at a lead role because she'll be the only “black face in the place” which makes me cringe a little. I wonder if all the ghost writers were instructed to make Andy say all the borderline offensive things or if they just do it naturally on their own. Her father soothes and reassures her. He's a supportive parent and it's nice to read after being stuck in Point Horror land for so long where parents regularly leave their teenagers in strange houses to jet around Europe.

Later that evening, Toby and Andy are both moping around the room when Jane gets back. She asks them what's wrong and Toby goes first. The tennis coach is too busy preparing her team for a fall tournament to take on beginner lessons. Jane solves that problem by telling Toby that the rec center in Greenleaf offers lessons and the coach is supposed to be really good. Andy takes her turn and says she called her father at prime long distance rates just because she needed a pep talk and now she feels guilty and stupid about it. Jane waves that away too. She reminds Andy that her parent's are over-invested in her and her dad was probably super excited to pep talk her up no matter how much it cost.

Audition day comes and Andy does well. She's called back for the second audition and she's elated. She won't be happy with anything but the lead role (even though she told us a few pages ago that she knows she won't get it). She gets hella miffed when Jane mentions that a second audition means Andy will at least get to dance in the chorus. Doesn't Jane know that Andy is WAY too good to ever dance in the chorus?

Jane has her own issues. Cary invites her to the Harvest Moon dance at Oakley Prep on the same day as the Fall Dance at Neal's school. She accepts Cary and turns down Neal which pisses him off to no end. She tells Maggie about it and then doesn't like the look on Maggie's face. Jane laments that no one is even trying to see her side of the story. She can't just break up with Neal when they've been a couple since birth. Their parents have expectations and no one seems to understand that.

I could rant and rave about this and that would probably be pretty entertaining for you guys, but I'm going to be compassionate instead. Make no mistake, I can't abide a cheater. It's disrespectful and selfish and cruel. But I can feel compassion for a person who feels like she's trapped with no way out.

I believe that Jane believes what she's saying about not being able to break things off with Neal because it will crush not only Neal, but both sets of parents as well. It's sad that she thinks she has to stay with someone she has no romantic feelings for in order to please other people. She's setting herself and Neal up for a pretty terrible life. It's an awful situation she's created in her head but it doesn't justify what she's doing. If she believes it that much, the right thing to do is break it off with Cary. She's only going to end up hurting everyone involved and I don't believe that's her intention at all. Which is why I can muster up some compassion. Believe me, if I didn't think she felt awful about all of this, I would have been VERY entertaining just now.

The next morning Toby is up and gone before the alarms go off. Jane gets right up but Andy just stays in bed and whines for awhile about how nervous she is and how she can't endure another day of auditions. Jane kind of ignores her or tries to change the subject by talking about the weather and wondering where Toby has gone so early. Andy snaps at her that all Jane cares about is Jane and Jane retorts that she can say the same thing about Andy. Jane stomps off to the dining hall and Andy manages to drag herself to the showers.

Toby comes back to the room while Andy is moping about having nothing to wear and not being able to borrow anything from her roommates because they absolutely suck at fashion. I'm slowly beginning to hate this girl. Toby asks if Jane is at breakfast and Andy seethes that Jane is a terrible friend who only cares about herself. Toby gently reminds Andy that Jane not only listened to all their problems the day before but that she offered solutions and comfort. She reminds Andy that Jane is not her mother and therefore not required to solve Andy's every problem. Andy turns on Toby then, telling her that she has enough teachers to lecture her and she doesn't need Toby's opinions. I don't think Toby gives a fuck. As Andy stomps out, her thoughts turn to tennis which is not going well for her.

The next morning, Jane apologizes to Andy for not being 100% about Andy. Andy says apologies don't fix Jane being selfish and she wants Jane to care about her problems. Jane bristles and says Andy doesn't care about her problems either. Andy counters that it's impossible to care about Jane's problems because Jane created them herself.

Wow. I'm starting to wonder why I loved these books. These people are pretty hard to root for.

Jane is in the wrong here and her reasoning makes zero sense to anyone except Jane, but the fact remains that Jane believes she is doing the only thing she can do. She's wrong. And headed down a road that's going to hurt a lot of people. And I hate what she's doing but I can't imagine talking to a friend the way Andy just talked to Jane. Even a cheater friend. To be honest, a lot of the problems we as humans have are problems we have created ourselves. It's part of that whole not being perfect thing. I try to remember that most people are doing the best they can with the skills they have at the time. Sometimes their best looks pretty damn bad to the rest of us but that doesn't change the fact that it's their best.

Jane again says that no one is even trying to understand her point of view. Andy snottily says she has 15 minutes so Jane might as well try to explain it again. Jane repeats that her parents and Neal's parents have expectations and it's just not easy to disappoint everyone all at once. But she's afraid Neal might love her and she definitely doesn't love him so everything is awful. Andy tells her that she's too worried about the parents. Their expectations are not Jane's duty and Andy's right here. Jane has to live her life for herself or she'll never be happy. Andy suggests she write Neal a letter. She tells Jane not to call because Neal will be too shocked to process things correctly. If he has a letter, he can read it until it makes sense. This seems completely backwards from any break-up procedure I've ever heard. Usually people insist it has to be done in person or at least on the phone and NOT in a letter.

Jane is attempting to write the Dear Neal letter when Toby comes back from her lesson. Toby says she sucks at tennis but she's not giving up. Jane realizes she hasn't seen Toby study or do her homework for several days. Before she can get back to her letter, a beautiful bouquet of flowers are delivered. Neal sent them, of course, because he subliminally knows that Jane's trying to write him a kiss off.

At the audition, the director announces that they are going to do an exciting opera ballet written and choreographed by some pretty prestigious people and that representatives from the Boston press might even be there on opening night. Andy immediately dreams of being the lead and getting accepted into a prominent ballet academy. She dances through the first set and is called on stage for the second. She thinks this means that she's close to getting the starring role but then learns that the second set was for the members of the chorus. The lead has gone to a talented senior (Ari) who has participated in the musicals all four years she's been at Canby.

Andy decides that talent and seniority mean nothing. She knows she didn't get the part because she's black.

She watches Ari dance and admits that she's flawless but still seethes. There were no black guys auditioning and she's sure that the director didn't want to have a black Sleeping Beauty dancing opposite a white Prince. She wonders how to tell her father that the school they picked so carefully is completely racist. She's sure he'll know that's the reason she didn't get the lead role so hiding it from him will be useless.

For days following the audition, Andy is overly-sensitive and easily-offended. Toby and Jane are walking on eggshells around her but she's still snapping at them constantly. Neal is sending Jane flowers every day and Andy never misses an opportunity to bitch about the flowers taking up space and chastise Jane for not breaking up with Neal.....or Cary. She tells them her theory about the racist director and Jane and Toby are troubled by the idea. They talk to Maggie who bluntly says it isn't the case. Ari has more stage presence and more experience on top of being just as good if not better at ballet than Andy. She won the role fair and square and there was no racism involved.

The fall season makes Toby miss her father and the ranch even more. She thinks constantly about what she would be doing if she were home and the memories get her down. She thinks it's ironic that she started tennis lessons to see more of Randy but she hasn't seen him at all because she's been practicing so much. One evening she asks Jane to walk into town with her. She has a lesson and doesn't want to go alone in the dark. Jane demurs at first because she hasn't finished her homework yet, but the thought of hanging out with Cary for an hour in the diner changes her mind.

Cary is happy to see her and asks her to sit at the counter so he can talk to her between orders. She enjoys watching him charm the customers. Sometimes they seem uneasy initially with his long hair and earring (the horror!!!) but his smile wins them over every single time. She thinks about how much she likes the smile but how she likes it more when he's serious and broody. Me too, Jane. Me too.

Between orders they talk about the upcoming dance. Cary is excited for her to hear the “new sound” Ambulance has been working up. He says it's a “departure” from their usual brand of rock. I hope this doesn't mean the ghost writer has been writing lyrics again.

The diner door opens and Gigi enters with a gaggle of friends. She sees Jane at the counter and comes over. Loudly she announces that they all had to leave Baker House because Jane's boyfriend has sent so many flowers the entire building smells like a funeral parlor. Cary gives Jane a surprised look that quickly changes to anger. She wishes she could explain but she has to wait for him to get another free moment.

Cary comes over and asks her why she hasn't told him about this other guy. She says she didn't have the chance but he calls her out on that lie. She's had plenty of chances but just didn't do it. She tells him that it's Neal who she described as an old friend in the last book. Cary asks if Neal knows about him and she says again that she hasn't had the chance to tell Neal. Cary is angry and she begs him to talk to her without the audience they're gathering in the diner. He says he'll talk to her again when she tells Neal about him.  Which is fair.  Jane pays for her drink and leaves.

Maggie spends a few paragraphs singing the praises of the old girls (Dana, Faith and Shelley). She tells us what they're all doing now and how perfect and successful they all are and how great their friendships are with each other. Its super annoying. This series seems to have major hero worship for the old trio.  It makes you wonder why they stopped writing for them and had them graduate.  What's the use of having new girls when the old girls are mentioned ad nauseam in every. single. book?

Andrea is resentful and sullen during rehearsals. She enjoys the dance but hates how the director is always screaming at her to smile. You know, like it's her JOB to look pleasant or something. Sheesh. It's not like she's playing a character in a musical or anythi........oh yeah. Right.

Toby returns after practice to find a note in her box requesting she come up to Alison's room for a talk. Toby is nervous but when Alison brings up Toby's tardiness, absences and falling grades, she just shrugs. She tells Alison she's been busy practicing tennis but she'll get caught up when winter comes and she can't use the courts anymore. Alison tells Toby that she's in danger of not being asked back to Canby after the semester ends and Toby promises to do better. Alison suggests she cut tennis back to once or twice a week and Toby agrees without intending to change her schedule at all. Tennis is more important. She needs to make Randy like her somehow and she's decided this is how.

Faulty logic at its finest. How will she see Randy to play tennis with him if she gets kicked out of school for bad grades?

In the end it doesn't matter because, despite her internal protests, Toby does cut tennis out to focus on school.  I love how this book has character think one thing and do another thing entirely.

That evening, Jane's mom Gloria calls the room. I thought the phone was broken? It was a few chapters ago. I guess it got fixed. Gloria is pissed about Jane's letter to Neal. Apparently Neal came and told her about it and then his mother came over to talk about it. Everyone is extremely upset. Gloria insists that she apologize to Neal and stop all this nonsense about another boy. The Worthingtons and Barretts have been connected for generations and Neal is one of them. There's no way this other boy could possibly be one of them.

Except that he is. We already know he belongs to an extremely rich, extremely important family in the Boston area. I guess Jane didn't mention names in her letter.

Jane hangs up miserable and leaves the room without a word.

Time passes. Toby tries to refocus on schoolwork but it's hard because she hasn't been paying attention in class. Andy is still being a bitch to everyone and refusing to see her race had no bearing on her casting. Jane is still miserable. Her misery deepens when Mrs Worthington calls one evening. She tells Jane how much Neal has missed her and that he's decided to visit her on Saturday. She hopes Jane will make time for her precious boy. It's horrible. What mother does that? Neal is a teenage boy and should be handling things himself. This is just disgusting.

Dee and Toby come in and Jane explains what's going on to them. Dee tells her the solution is simple: contact Neal and tell him not to come. Technically she has a date with Cary that night for the dance even if she's not sure it's still on. Jane hems and haws and says she can't really do that because Neal isn't good at taking hints and their mothers will be mad. Dee asks her if she just intends to drag this out forever and Jane gets snippy with her. Dee tells Jane that she deserves to have both Cary and Neal dump her and then she exits the room with a flourish.

Andy adds her two cents and tells Jane that she should try being honest with everyone. Then she also exits with a flourish to shower. When everyone is gone, Toby gently asks Jane what she'd like to do. Jane says she wants Neal to visit. She considers him to be one of her best friends and she's hoping to show him that they'll be better off as friends. She also wants to talk to Cary and explain things to him and try to make him understand why she felt like she had to do what she did. Andy returns by this time and tells Jane if Jane is going to do the right thing by both boys, Andy is willing to help her in any way she can. Jane makes the comment that maybe Neal can come to the Oakley Prep dance with her and Cary and now I think we have a Brother Husband thing going on. C'mon, Jane, this isn't THAT kind of book.

Toby, continues to make a huge effort to turn things around with her schoolwork in the upcoming days. She apologizes to her teachers for slacking off and asks them what she can do to catch back up. Her teachers want her to succeed so they point out the things she needs to concentrate on. She buckles down and spends a good hunk of time in the library studying and getting caught up.

Toby's my favorite in this book. I think I shall award a Queen of the Book (kind of like the King of the Lab in Bones). I should finish this one before I hand out the title, though. She could still do something dumb like try to get poor Randy drunk or something.

Jane decides she needs to go talk to Cary and the only way she knows how to do that is to go to the diner. Toby offers to walk to town with her because it's dark and Jane shouldn't be alone. While Jane goes to the diner, Toby goes to the library so she can study. Jane tries to talk to Cary but he is cold and distant and refuses.  I'm not sure what she expected after how she treated him.  He has every right to be angry that she turned him into the "other guy".  She tries to wait him out, thinking he might change his mind, but he doesn't. She confronts him and tells him that he's not being fair which is just the dumbest thing she could have said considering how unfairly she's treated him. He says as much to her and she gets mad and leaves. I keep telling myself she's 15 and I can't judge her by my maturity standards but it's hard.

Toby is such a good friend that she's furious at Cary for making Jane cry. She thinks he isn't worth all this turmoil and I punch her right in the mouth in my imagination. Toby, Toby, Toby, Cary is wonderful. He has an earring. He plays guitar. What is wrong with you? Anyway, the next day she is heading back to the dorm after classes when she hears someone call her name. Cary steps out from behind a tree and grabs her arm to halt her. Not a fan of the grabbing, Cary. And after I just defended you. Sheesh. He calls Toby “Texas” and says he wants to talk to her because he can't find Jane. Toby snaps that Jane was right in front of his face the day before and he looks remorseful and says he isn't proud of how he acted.

Toby says she'll tell Jane he's looking for her but that's it. They step inside Baker House's lobby and Toby uses the house phone to call up to the room. When Jane answers, Toby tells her that Cary wants to talk to her but she doesn't have to come down if she doesn't want to. Jane, however, says she'll be right down which irritates Toby a little. She really wants to see Cary punished for his sins and I can't even be mad at that because it's such a best friend thing to do. However, when she sees the look of relief on Cary's face when Jane walks in the room, her anger leaves and she wishes them peace before she hightails it out of Dodge.

Cary apologizes for being a dick the night before and asks her if they can talk in his car where it's more private. When they're alone, he tells her how hurt and jealous he is. She explains about Neal and their parents and how she really does see Neal as a friend even if no one else has gotten that message yet. Then she tells Cary that Neal is coming up that weekend and he's understandably upset by this. He tells Jane that if she really thinks of Neal only as a friend, then she can get him a date and they can double to the dance. She's shocked by this and he takes it as a sign that she doesn't want Neal dating anyone else. He tells her to think about it and make up her mind. He has to go to work now and can't talk about it anymore. She's stunned when he leaves and royally pissed at him, but honestly, I think he handled it better than most guys would. And I'm not just saying that because I'm Team Cary.

When Jane gets back up to the room, she tells them about Cary's suggestion of the double date. Both Toby and Andy think it's brilliant and apparently Jane is willing to give it a go to prove that she's Team Cary too. She asks Toby if she'd be willing to be Neal's date. The thought sends Toby into a panic. I think Jane is forgetting how very naive Toby is when it comes to guys. She's never had a boyfriend and her very first crush happened just a book ago. Plus she believes Neal is from an entirely different social stratosphere than she is. She tells Jane that she has way too much schoolwork so Jane turns and asks Andy to do it. Andy immediately says Neal probably wouldn't want to go with her and the undercurrent is that he wouldn't want to date a black girl. Jane is hurt that they won't help her.

Toby is miserable for the rest of the day, feeling like she's let her friend down. She hears that one of the activities that Jane has planned to keep Neal in the friend zone is doubles tennis and that Maggie making the fourth. So.....who is the third? It's Jane and Neal against Maggie? That seems wrong. Or the girls against Neal? This makes no sense, ghost writer. Learn to count. Toby decides to volunteer to take Maggie's place because Maggie doesn't even play tennis. She feels like it's the least she can do to help her friend. Jane is touched and gives Toby a big hug.

Saturday arrives and everyone is pretty much in a tizzy. Toby is nervous about playing tennis for the first time against actual people. Jane is nervous about having Neal around. Maggie is nervous because Faith is coming to visit the campus and she wants to see her more than she wants to breathe. She has to go paint backdrops for the play, and she's certain that Faith will want to visit her old room, so she makes the girls promise that they'll tell Faith not to leave campus until she sees Maggie.

Jane meets Neal at the train station. He hugs her tightly and then suggests they go get breakfast. Jane doesn't want to go to the diner because that would be all kinds of awful. They head toward one of the inns and Neal tells her to relax. Everything is going to be okay. The only thing that would not be okay is if they damage their friendship. Um....what?  Is this the same boy that wants her back so much that he asked his Mommy to call and set up this play date?  The same guy that sends her flowers every single day?  That guy didn't seem like the kind to be satisfied with a mere friendship.  Did he undergo a personality transplant on the train?  Or does this damn town just alter everything it touches?

Toby is practically peeing her pants at the thought of the tennis match. It doesn't get any better when she arrives at the court and realizes that the fourth person that I thought didn't exist is actually Randy.

Again......What?

Jane doesn't even KNOW Randy. How on earth did she come to ask him to play with them? THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Did she even know Randy played tennis? I don't think Toby told her but I might be wrong. Still, wouldn't Jane have asked one of her preppy friends?

Toby is so rattled by Randy that she plays terribly for the first game. Then Gigi shows up with some friends and begins heckling Toby. Toby gets so mad that she forgets all about Randy and she starts playing the game in earnest. When they're done, Randy asks her why she never told him she played. Jane tells him that Toby just learned and Neal is flabbergasted that she developed a game that tight in just a few weeks.

The boys walk the girls back to the dorm and Toby finds Neal surprisingly easy to talk to. Well, to be fair, Neal just talks about himself a lot but to Toby, he's incredibly proper and sophisticated. She's a little star-struck by his manners and bearing. She thinks he's like a British movie. It's only when Randy tells her goodbye at Baker House that she realizes she forgot he was there entirely. Randy tells Neal they can go back to the ranch so Neal can change clothes. Jane tells Toby how proud she is of Toby's tennis ability and how thankful she is that Toby took time away from her homework to help Jane out. It's a nice moment but Toby's mind is fully on Neal.

Sigh.

Andy is alone in the room when someone knocks on the door. She opens the door to find “the best looking young black woman she'd seen since leaving Chicago” standing there. It really says that. I can't make up stuff that bad. Faith asks if Maggie is around and Andrea invites her into the room. Faith looks around, saying that she promised Dana and Shelley a full report of their old room and the new people in it. Andy suggests that they head to the auditorium to meet Maggie and Faith is happy for the company across campus. She asks how Andy is liking the school and Andy says it's fine except for the racism. Faith is alarmed and asks for an example. Andy tells her that she didn't get the role of Sleeping Beauty because she's black and Faith flat out tells her that she must be mistaken. Which she totally IS but Faith really has no way to know that and should not make the assumption.

Faith launches into a huge speech about how Canby Hall and everyone in it is color blind and it's so naive and cringey. Faith tells her that what she's doing is dangerous. That Ari must have simply been better and Andy needs to be honest with herself about her abilities and limitations. Again, all true, but Faith doesn't know that and needs to shut her fucking mouth. She's the dangerous one. She wasn't there. She knows nothing about the situation but she's just deciding that Andy is wrong (which she IS) because things like that can't happen at Canby Hall where people are apparently not human or something.

Time is shifty as usual at Canby Hall where ages can change at the drop of a hat and weeks pass and then go backwards again. All this Faith/Andy drama apparently happened while Jane and Toby were playing tennis. So we went back in time and then forward in time and I'm exhausted. Anyway, Toby announces to Jane that she's changed her mind and she'd be happy to be Neal's date for the dance.

Oh, Toby. Don't let the ghost writer do this to you.

It turns out Toby has only one dress to her name. A copper, flouncy affair that makes her look “two inches around” as Andy puts it. Fuck you, ghost writer. Andy tames Toby's curls and pins a flower in her hair. Jane is stunned when she comes back in the room. She thinks Toby looks beautiful. Toby is worried about not being able to dance but Jane assures her that no one really dances to Cary's band. They just kind of move their feet and jiggle a lot. That description is just the best. 

Cary leaves the stage when they come into the dance so he can properly be introduced to Neal. It turns out Cary has some friends that go to Neal's prep school so they make awkward small talk for a couple of minutes. Cary returns to the stage the dance starts. Toby can't dance so Neal ends up dancing with Jane. By intermission, Cary is well and truly pissed, having spend the entire first set watching the girl he likes in the arms of another guy. Jane defends it by saying it isn't her fault Toby won't dance. He ends up ignoring Jane for the rest of the evening.  It's childish but he's 15 and it feels realistic to me.

Jane calls Alison and gets permission to come home late. She needs to take Neal to the train station by cab and then she'll come back to Baker House. Alison gives her permission over the phone but says Jane will have to stop by and fill out a formal permission slip when she gets home. Jane sees Neal off and they agree to just be friends from now on.

Andy throws herself into the musical after Faith's visit. She admits to herself that Ari IS a better dancer and actress and that there was no discrimination. Her change in attitude makes a change in her dancing and soon she is hearing applause from the lighting area after every solo.  Do chorus dancers usually have solos?  At first she doesn't even wonder about it – she just basks in the glory of the adoration. But one day she happens to look up there and she sees an Oakley Prep boy named Matt smiling down at her.

Toby returns to the dorm to find a note in her box asking her to call Randy. When she does, he invites her out to dinner but not as a date. He wants to talk to her about something. It turns out he wants her to try out for the tennis team. He says she needs to be challenged by her peers in order to improve. She probably won't make the team this year, but trying out will show the coach and the other girls that she's serious about improving and then they'll want to help her. Toby agrees to think about it.

The day of dress rehearsal arrives and Andy is a wreck. A box of very expensive chocolates is delivered to her room and she assumes it's from her family until she realizes that the card is unsigned. When she gets to the theater she finds herself bathed in golden light and sees Matt up high smiling down at her again. She knows he's her secret admirer and the thought helps ease her butterflies.

Jane is walking by herself to the auditorium when Cary calls out to her. She doesn't stop and he resorts to grabbing her arm. Still not cool with the grabbing, Cary. Jane tells him to unhand her and then she resumes walking. Cary keeps pace. He apologizes again and tells Jane that Neal was an idiot not to fight for her but he isn't an idiot and he's going to do anything he has to in order to make things right. He cares for her and never meant to hurt her and he's sorry. Jane accepts his apology and they go off to the dress rehearsal together.

The rehearsal goes well and Andy is amazing of course. Matt comes up to her afterwards and she's happy to notice that he's an attractive, dark-skinned, tall boy because that means she's okay to like him.  If he had been white, the rules of the series would have demanded that she not be interested.   He asks to walk her home and she goes off with him. Which is dumb. She doesn't know this boy at all. He could be a puppy-kicker or something. The end up kissing in front of Baker House. Andy clearly doesn't mind touching lips with a stranger.

The book ends with the girls on the floor throwing Toby a birthday party and singing happy birthday to friendship as if that makes any sense at all.

Queen of the Book Award: Toby.  She was a good friend and made the mature decision to put school before tennis (after almost letting tennis get her ousted).  She was loyal to Jane but let Jane make her own decisions.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: Honors are split between Andy and Dee who were pretty much awful through the entire book.

Final Thoughts: As with most books I enjoyed in my childhood, I'm finding this series hard to swallow as an adult. I think maybe I was more in love with the idea of boarding school than I was with the actual characters back then. Boarding school was a huge dream of mine. I was pretty disappointed when I went to college and I found dorm life so horrendous. But back to the book, I'm still Team Cary. I don't like his tendency to grab people but I like him. I'm not even sure why. There's just something about him. I like that he's rich but willing to work hard for a living. I like that he admits when he's wrong and apologizes. I like that he clearly likes Jane even though the bitch doesn't deserve him.  The hero worship of Dana, Faith and Shelley is heavy-handed and irritating.  I think it only gets worse too.

Coming up next month: Alison is getting married and the sainted old girls are headed to Canby Hall. I'm sure that will go smoothly. {sarcasm}