A Roommate Returns (Book 29) by "Emily Chase"

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl acted like a total bitch in this book.  Because you know at least one of them did.

Tag Line: Shelley has come back!

From the Back of the Book: Is an ex-roommate about to become a new star?  Former 407 roommate Shelley Hyde has come back to Canby Hall - to invite Toby, Andy and Jane to the opening night of a play in Boston.  Shelley has a part in it, and it could be her big break!  But things don't turn out the way Shelley planned, and she ends up staying on at Canby Hall with a bad case of the blues.  Then a foot injury threatens Andy's plans to be a ballerina, and Shelley has to lose her blues to help.  Because no matter how far away from Canby Hall a roommate goes, the rules of friendship she learns there never change.

This book was written in 1988 and I've never read it before. I don't particularly want to read it now. I don't think I've dreaded a book this much since “Something Old, Something New” or whatever it was called. I seriously can't stand Shelley. She gives me hives.

The ghostie for this book is Lucille Warner. She hasn't appeared yet in this series and a quick Goodreads search only turned up a couple of Wildfire books. Wildfire was a teen romance series so maybe we'll get some nice romantic moments with our characters. {{snort}}

There's nothing particularly noteworthy about this cover. Jane seems to be the focus as usual.  I don't know where the rest of Andy's body went.  She looks hollow.  She's also the same height as Toby again which means the ghostie in The Roommate and the Cowboy is a lying liar who lies.

Canby Hall Catch-Up: You guys know the basics. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small town ranch girl). Jane is dating Cary-the-rock-god from the nearby boys' school Oakley Prep. Andy is dating a boy named Matt who is sometimes said to be from the public school in town and sometimes said to be from Oakley Prep. Well, I should say she's dating Matt when she's not dating Steve who works in her family's rib shack. It mostly depends on her geographic location at the time. Toby is dating the ultra-proper Neal from Boston (who happens to be Jane's ex), and crushing on local rancher Randy who has magical aging powers that allow him to be a different age in every book. In the last book, Jane celebrated her sweet 16 with a strand of heirloom pearls and a $300 check from her mumsy. She took her friends on a sailing/picnic trip where she lost her pearls in cake batter and unknowingly baked them into the cake. There was a lot of general panic when they were discovered missing and instead of fessing up she tried to lie her way out of it as usual. There was also a B Plot where Cary nearly missed a gig due to being grounded but the 407 girls saved the day with a money tree.

Those Who Shall Not Be Unnamed: Former 407 residents Dana-the-life-ruiner, Shelley-the-drama-llama and Faith-the-sanctimonious and former housemother-extraordinaire-Alison. Hey, just because they've all moved on doesn't mean we can't worship them at least once every book.

Missing, Presumed Dead: Gigi.  She was only mentioned in passing last book and not at all this book so I fear she might be under the dirt.  And our homegirl Laura Lee is most definitely fertilizer by this point.  They never even mention her.  I fear a resurrection is not in the stars for her.  #amomentofsilenceforLauraLee

Risen From the Tulip Bed: We had a huge exodus from the tulip bed this book.  Allegra was mentioned more than once.  PA (head bitch in charge) finally made an appearance toward the end of the book.  Randy and Penny both had actual dialogue again!  I have to say, I missed Randy, y'all.  He is just always so nice and these books often need a huge dose of niceness.

We begin with our protagonists spending Sunday morning eating their way through one of Andy's care packages. Andy is in a good mood. She and Matt spent the evening before walking and talking through town and she's still feeling the romantic glow. Toby is in a good mood. She's getting ready to head to Randy's house to ride Maxine. It's the horse, people. Get your minds out of the gutter. Jane is NOT in a good mood. I know that's shocking. She has to spend the day doing Geometry homework with Maggie. For once, I feel Jane. That's a crap way to spend a day.

A voice at the door breaks into their conversation and it's none other than Shelley-the-drama-llama. She's wearing a head-to-toe bright orange outfit like she's planning on going hunting with Dick Cheney or something. They invite her in and she asks if they're “pozz” because she doesn't want to interrupt them. If I had a gun I'd shoot her myself for using the word “pozz” as if it exists.

Shelley swoops in and starts rhapsodizing dramatically about her Canby Hall days. She tells them about the Tab can pyramid that used to be on the window sill and how glorious her “forever friends” are and how someday they'll realize that these are the golden days. She's extremely condescending to all three girls at once and it's ridiculous and irritating. I'm the only one allowed to talk to them like that, bitch.

P.S. In THIS book Andy's bedspread is a “modern print” in “warm tones”.

They finally ask her what the hell she's doing there and she dramatically tells them: “Tomorrow is the first day of the beginning of my life!” Toby is internally rolling her eyes just as hard as the rest of us and that reminds me of why I am always (except that one book we shall not mention) #teamToby. Shelley tells them that she's starting a play in Boston the next morning and it's her first big break. She wanted to visit Room 407 one last time before she skyrockets into stardom. Shelley's a little hard to take this early in the day, y'all.

Shelley goes on and on and on. Finally Toby just tells her goodbye and leaves the room. Jane ends up leaving soon after to do her Geometry homework. As much as I like to warn everyone to keep #oneeyeonMaggieatALLtimes since she's Dana-the-life-ruiner's sister, I think Jane made the better choice here. Andy is left with Shelley but she really doesn't mind. She feels a kinship with the other girl since they're both artistic and ambitious. They wander around campus so that Shelley can relive the first half of the series for Andy who didn't get to read it since she was working at the Rib Shack so often.

The next day Toby gets a letter from Neal. He'll be in town that weekend to look at a horse that's going to be at Randy's ranch. Toby is surprised that Neal wants to look at a horse since he's afraid of horses and this confuses Jane. She and Neal were once a couple and she's known him all her life and she's fairly certain he isn't afraid of horses at all.

Jane muses a bit after that. She admits to herself that although she and Neal were once “romantic friends”, he never felt for Jane what he seems to feel for Toby. Then she thinks of Beau, the cowboy she met while visiting Toby's ranch, and wonders if Toby and Neal feel the same passion for each other as Jane and Beau.

Um.

Excuse me?

Did this ghostie not get the CARY memo? Jane isn't dating Beau. I know that smug asshole is showing back up in the next book and I'm sure they told the ghostie she had to work a mention of him in here somewhere but this was not the place to do it. Jane should have been thinking about her actual boyfriend here.

We take an abrupt hop to Saturday because the ghostie can't make a school week sound interesting. What is she a magician? Neal arrives at Baker House to pick up Toby. They have a sweet but rather awkward kiss and Neal actually says “Gee it's good to see you.” It's so wholesome it squeaks. Jane interrupts because she thinks the world can't turn without her help. She's suddenly remembered she has an actual boyfriend named Cary and she invites Toby and Neal to join her at one of his gigs that evening. They agree.

Toby and Neal head for Randy's ranch. She sees a pair of riding boots in the back of the car and asks him who they belong to. He tells her that they're his and she gets angry. She can't believe he isn't actually afraid of horses like she thought and seems to feel betrayed by this. They get to the barn and Randy brings out a horse with a funny saddle. Neal explains its a dressage horse and he wants to explain to Toby how to ride it. Toby won't listen to him. She jumps on and tries to get the horse to move. It doesn't respond to any of her commands. Neal continues to try to get her to listen to him but she refuses, getting angrier and more embarrassed. She finally dismounts and goes running to his car to pout.

Here we go again.

Another ghostie out to kill Toby. Sigh.

#saveToby #ghostieassassin

I might be inclined to give the ghostie the benefit of the doubt here - Toby is VERY proud of her skills on a horse and doesn't like to be told how to do something she's done all her life - BUT the ghostie went hugely overboard on Toby's rude and sulky behavior.  It just isn't true to the character and, therefore, an assassination attempt.

Neal drives Toby back to the dorm and they meet Jane and Cary coming out. Cary asks her how Barnaby (the horse) was and Toby realizes that he must have heard about the horse from Jane and Jane clearly heard about it from Neal. She sees Neal and Jane talking quietly beside the car and instantly gets super suspicious and jealous. She just knows that Neal hates her and he's going to get back with Jane the next time she randomly forgets about Cary.....which happens every other chapter. She leaves them all standing there and races back into the dorm.

#saveToby #ghostieassassin

We now skip ahead to Wednesday. The girls from 407 and Merrie (current housekeeper who can't decide how she spells her name) are headed to Boston to see the opening night of Shelley's play. How good can this play possibly be if it's opening on a Wednesday night? The theater is tiny and the girls are secretly disappointed. Andy reads the little blurb about Shelley in the program and notes that it says “attended” college rather than “is attending”.

The play gets underway and Andy thinks Shelley is awesome but the play itself is awful. It doesn't seem to make much sense and the dialogue is very stilted. At the end of the play, everyone agrees that Shelley was the only good thing about it. Because of course she was. She may not be a current resident of Room 407 but even past residents must be worshipped by the entire universe at all times and always be the best at anything they undertake.

#thestinkofadorationdoesn'twashoffsoeasily

Afterwards the entire cast goes to a restaurant to await the reviews on TV. Do they really expect us to believe that this tiny production in a tiny theater on a Wednesday night is being covered by the media outlets?

Shelley invites Merrie and the girls to join her. While they're there, everyone makes a huge point of telling them how talented Shelley is. It's ridiculous. The reviews come in and they're horrific. The director stands up and announces that the play will be closing. There will be no second performance. Shelley looks stunned. Merrie and the girls quietly leave at the advice of one of the veteran actors. As they walk out, Jane and Toby talk about how awful the play was and Andy suddenly starts screaming at them to shut up. She says that could be her someday.

We bounce ahead to Saturday morning now. We're really eating through time in this book.  Randy's going to be 30 by the time it ends.  Toby goes out to the ranch to ride Maxine. While she's there, she and Randy talk about Barnaby. Toby can tell Randy is disappointed in how she behaved while Neal was there and she ends up apologizing to him and admitting she was just embarrassed that she couldn't ride the horse. He's kind to her but basically lets her know she was definitely in the wrong.  

Later she and Jane also have a confrontation about the previous weekend. Jane tells her how hurt Neal was by her refusal to listen to him about Barnaby and her sullen attitude afterwards. Toby is stubborn for a few minutes, insisting she didn't do anything wrong but eventually the facade cracks and the real Toby shines through. She says she'll write to Neal immediately and make things right.

Ah.  The ghostie read the rest of the series and realized Toby isn't an asshole.  Yay! 

#Tobyisredeemed

The 407 girls overhear Shelley and Merrie talking in the penthouse and use the opportunity to remind everyone how amazing Alison was and how Merrie could never ever fill her shoes no matter how hard she tries. Poor Merrie. It's hard to follow a paragon like Alison. Shelley tells Alison that she can't go back home. Her boyfriend Paul is mad at her. Her parents are mad at her. She's dropped out of college. She has nowhere to go. Alison says she can stay temporarily in the room that they fixed up for Princess Allegra all those books ago and it was a nice shock to see a ghostie actually using some continuity. But shouldn't they be consulting PA about this? Does PA even still exist? We haven't heard from her since Help Wanted.

Toby is less than thrilled that Shelley will be under the same roof and this isn't even her being a brat. Shelley is just awful. Andy yells at her for it and Toby reasonably replies that you don't have to like everyone. She's not going to be mean to Shelley but she's also not going to pretend to be Shelley's best friend.

#teamToby

Sunday morning there's a meeting in 407. Dee and Maggie attend and Penny digs herself out of the tulip bed to show up as well. No one seems to mind the giant clumps of dirt falling out of her hair. You'd think they'd ask her what life was like under the earth but, no, they're focused on planning a party for Shelley.  They decide to make her the guest of honor at the Maple Syrup Day that Canby has every year. I guess we're just accepting now that the 407 girls make decisions for the entire student body. {{{Sigh.}}}

Penny makes a personalized invitation and the girls slip it under Shelley's door. She's not thrilled to have it. She tells them that she's too old for such idiocy and she doesn't want to do anything with them and she wants them to leave her alone. Everyone is stunned. Penny calls her a baby and Andy screams at her to stop being mean and bursts into sobs.

What the hell is wrong with Andy in this book? Projecting much?

All three girls independently come up with ways to cheer Shelley up. Jane decides to invite her to Boston for the weekend. Toby arranges with Randy to take Shelley out in a horse and buggy. Andy takes her a care package and a pep talk. Shelley is rude to all of them. She keeps dramatically repeating that her life is over and she has nothing to live for. She rebuffs Andy's care package, refuses Jane's invitation and tells Toby that if she wanted to go riding with Randy she'd just ask him herself because they dated once or something. I don't even remember. I blocked it out.

We leave the A plot for a bit and return to the B plot of Toby/Barnaby/Neal. Neal has sent Toby a padded envelope stuffed with something and she's convinced that he's so mad that he's returning every letter she ever wrote him. She can't bring herself to open it. When she finally does, it's a book about dressage riding. Well played, Neal.

We hop to Saturday morning again. I'm pretty sure an entire month has passed in this book. Which makes it even weirder that Shelley is still there. Toby has read the book but doesn't really understand it. Still, she resolves to go out to the ranch and meet Barnaby properly. When she gets there, Randy tells her that Barnaby is being exercised. It turns out that Neal is out with him. She can't help noticing how "elegant" and "gorgeous" he looks in the saddle. Nothing like the cowboys she's used to. This time when Neal offers to show her a few things, she listens and finds that she enjoys it. She doesn't think she wants to make dressage a big part of her life, but it's interesting and she feels proud of herself for learning to do it.

Toby and Neal spend the day together and then get burgers in town. And the B plot wraps itself up very nicely. I'm a little disappointed to have it finished. That means we have to go back to the A plot unless the ghostie is going to throw a C plot at us.

The C plot hits us right in the face on Sunday morning. Andy is dancing around the room when she does some dance-y thing and lands on her foot wrong. She ends up in a cast with a fractured foot bone. That's the technical term, ya know. PA reemerges from the tulips to personally tuck her in. Andy ends up spending the rest of the week in the infirmary for some reason that's not fully explained.  (Note from future me: I finally figured out the reason.  There's no elevator in Baker House and she can't climb the stairs safely on crutches.  That would never fly today.  The dorm would have to be handicap accessible.)  She is pretty carefree outwardly, saying that dancers get hurt and have to know how to rehab but secretly she worries about her foot healing properly.

Jane receives a bunch of boxes from a fancy riding store in Boston. It turns out Neal has sent Toby a “proper” riding outfit. Toby thinks Neal is wonderful for doing it but can't possibly accept such fancy things from him. She sends them back with a nice note.

Meanwhile back at the infirmary, Andy is now convinced that her career as a dancer is over and she falls into a deep depression. Gee, do you think Shelley and Andy are going to “cure” each other? Ugh.

Andy refuses to do any of her physical therapy exercises and barely gets out of bed.

Wait.

She's out of her cast already and doing PT?  It's been A WEEK.  Who breaks a bone in their foot and is cast free doing PT in a week?

In frustration, Toby and Jane collect quarters from everyone in Baker House and they call her parents. Her dad immediately flies out to Canby. He brings an entire rib dinner with him (somehow) and the 407 girks, the 409 girls, Matt and the nurse from infirmary all settle in for a feast. Mr Cord tries to get Andy to dance but she tells him she's accepted that she'll never be a dancer and that's that.

I actually have a super hard time believing that her parents didn't fly out without being called.  They are overprotective and overbearing where Andy is concerned.  There's no way they heard that she was injured and didn't rush to see her.  #bullshit

Later, Shelley overhears everyone taking about what a shame it is that Andy has given up on her dream for no reason and she heads for the infirmary to heal Andy with some of that 407 magic. Shelley gives Andy a pep talk and just like that everything is fine again. Both Shelley and Andy are cured of their blues and both encouraged that they'll soon reach their dreams. I know I'm making it sound like it happened very fast. It did. It resolved in TWO PARAGRAPHS, y'all.

Ridiculous.

Shelley apologizes to everyone and all's well that ends well.

The ghostie gives me a little treat with her last sentence.

“As Andy snuggled under her comforter and Jane and Toby got ready for bed and Lights Out, their hearts felt warm with the feeling of friendship and harmony and love and respect that filled every corner of their room, Room 407, Baker House, Canby Hall.”

Pure cheese. Love ya, ghostie!!

I have to say I felt really bad for Merrie in this book.  The constant Alison-worship was a little hard to take.  She was mentioned more times than Cary, PA, Penny and Dee combined.

The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf Award: Wow. Guys. Hold on to your socks because I'm about to blow them right the fuck off. Jane. Jane was the least annoying person in this book. How the hell did that happen? Is the sky still blue? Do pigs still have four legs? Someone hold me. I'm scared.

The Bitch of Baker House Award: Shelley-the-drama-llama. Hands-down. No contest. She was awful from start to finish and she made this book hellish to read. 

Coming Up Next: Beau from Texas arrives for a surprise visit. I wonder how long it will take Jane to forget she has a boyfriend who loves her more than she deserves?