Warning: Contains Spoilers!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know which girl was a total bitch in this book. Because you know at least one of them was.
Tag Line: She's out to get the girls in 407.From the Back of the Book: There's a troublemaker on the loose. Toby is down in the dumps until Andy and Jane promise her a special party to cheer her up. But first they have to get their headmistress's permission. Then Andy has to devote every spare minute to a major term paper. And Gigi "The Worst Person in the World" Norton decides to throw a rival party of her own, with a truly nasty theme. When Andy's term paper disappears and Toby is the victim of a cruel letter, the girls of 407 realize that someone is out to get them. Who is causing all the trouble? And how much worse can it get?
This book was published in 1987. I don't think I ever
read this one. I guess we'll see if I recognize anything about it as
we go along. The back blurb doesn't sound familiar and I don't recognize
the cover at all. (Note from future me: Never read this one. I must have spent my allowance on something else that month.) By the way, let's talk about this cover. Jane's
eyes look really bizarre and Andy's arms are awkwardly placed.
Usually if you're holding your arms in that position, the bottom one
is against your stomach or chest or whatever and the top one is
braced on it. This looks like both arms are held out from her body
and it's just odd. Jane appears to be looking at Toby with her
bizarre eyes but Toby is glancing off toward the head of Andy's bed.
Is there someone there “off-screen”? (Another note from future me: Toby wasn't even IN this scene.) And is THAT supposed to be
the "striped earth-tone bedspread" we keep hearing about in every book?
Those are squares. Squares and stripes are not really the same
thing. And I've never thought of blue as an earth-tone. So....not
as much of a win as the last cover.
The ghostwriter for this book is Eileen
Hehl. A Goodreads search of her names brings up lots of “Sweet
Dreams” titles (80's teenage romance). We haven't read one by her
yet. We'll see how she does. (Yet another note from future me: she's awful.)
Canby Hall Catch-Up: You guys know the
basics. We have three protagonists (Jane – high society
princess, Andy – urban ballerina and Toby – small
town ranch girl). Jane is dating Cary-the-rock-god from the
neighboring boys' school Oakley Prep. Andy is loosely dating Matt who does the lighting for Cary's band. Or
Steve who works in her parents' rib shack. It depends on her current geographic location. Toby is kind of dating Jane's
ex-boyfriend Neal (which it totally cool with Jane) and
crushing on Randy who has magical aging powers that allow him
to be a different age in every book. In the last book, Toby and Andy
spent a weekend at Jane's house to attend the annual Barrett Landing
Party. Jane treated them horribly throughout the entire book but
they forgave her because they are contractually obligated to do so.
Toby and Andy became cliches that didn't know how to act around rick
folks. And Cary saved the lame party with his guitar and a little
“disco madness”. The B-plot was the arrival of the new
housemother Merry who started out by being too strict and
giving everyone bazillions of demerits to make up for the fact that
she was wild as a teen. You know, that really doesn't make as much
sense as we were led to believe last book.
We begin with Toby ranting about snow.
She's sick of snow and says it shouldn't still exist because it's March. Wow,
we really jumped ahead this book. Last I knew it was just after
New Year's. Time flies in Massachusetts I suppose. Jane diagnoses
her with “Winter Blahs” as Andy peeks out from under her “pale
pink comforter”. You know.....the one that has earth-tone stripes.
Apparently no one gave Eileen the memo and she made it pink. This
is what I hate about reading a series where every book is written by
a new ghostie. Continuity isn't even a thing.
Jane says the only cure for Winter
Blahs is to have a party. They'll invite all of Baker House and have
food and music and general frivolity.
Insert descriptions of each girl and
how they're different but still really good friends. #twee
Jane wants to hire Cary's band
Ambulance and make it a boy-girl party. Andy decides she'll invite
Matt since she's only with Steve while in Chicago. Toby considers
Randy but decides inviting Neal makes more sense even though she's terrified to actually call him up and do it. They go to Merry's
room on the top floor to secure permission. Unfortunately the
boy-girl thing means the girls must go to the head mistress (Patrice
Allardyce aka PA) instead to get permission. Toby loses her party
buzz, certain that PA will say no.
Over breakfast (where we get the
standard spiel about the food being awful which I still think is
unrealistic considering this is an expensive boarding school where
nutrition would be a priority) the 407 gang fills in the 409 gang
(Dee and Maggie) about the party plans. Maggie, who
only exists so everyone can talk about her sister
Dana-the-life-ruiner, is excited about the idea. Dee pouts
about the party being in Toby's honor when it's also her first New
England winter and Jane says the party will be for Toby AND Dee.
We head-hop over to the next table
where Gigi is eating with her only friend Yolanda.
Gigi, if you will remember, was Jane's roommate the previous year and
is pretty much thought to be the most awful girl at Canby. Although,
to be honest, I don't remember her actually doing anything awful. I
have a vague memory of her being snotty to Toby during the whole
tennis storyline but nothing specific comes to mind. Gigi has
overheard the plans for the party and she's seething inside. She
tells Yolanda that she's going to wire her parents for money to throw
her own party – something bigger and better than whatever Jane is
planning. Yolanda points out that Gigi doesn't exactly know where
her photographer parents are and just like that, Gigi suddenly has a
back story.
Gigi slithers over to the other table
and announces that she's planning to have a catered affair in a
rented hall on Saturday. She tells them she hopes that her party
won't interfere with theirs. Jane replies that they haven't set a
date yet but she's sure they'll pick a different one. Gigi tells
them that they are invited to her party and the group hastily claims
to have plans. I know I'm not supposed to feel sorry for Gigi here,
but I mostly do.
Gigi starts to get upset that they
aren't falling all over themselves to come to her party so she
announces that she's going to have a hilarious and fun theme that
they don't want to miss. She pauses for drama and then announces her
theme will be “come as someone you hate”. Toby immediately
dislikes it. She tells Gigi that it's evil and tacky and just plain
bad manners. This really pisses Gigi off and she starts insulting
Toby which just makes everyone else at the table mad. They tell her
that they won't be attending and she swears revenge before stomping
off in a huff.
The next chapter opens up with Andy
dramatically declaring her own demise. She's apparently been
spending a lot of time in the dance studio and has forgotten about
her history term paper. It's due the next week and she has no idea
how she's going to finish on time. Jane asks her the topic and Andy replies that she chose Black History because Faith-the-sanctimonious
(former 407 resident and roommate of Dana-the-life-ruiner)
recommended she learn more about the subject.
At dinner, they run into Laura Lee.
She's a quiet girl who lives in the room at the end of the hall.
Jane thinks it's odd that they rarely see her since she lives on the
same floor. She mentions the party that they still don't have
permission to have, but Laura Lee says she really isn't into parties
and then she walks off leaving Jane stunned behind her. Jane tells
her friends what just happened and announces that she's going to make
Laura Lee the B plot of this book. Toby points out that Andy's term
paper is already the B plot and they really shouldn't force Laura Lee
to be a major portion of the book until she's ready. Jane thinks she
knows best, though.
As they days go by, Jane worries more
and more about getting permission for a boy-girl party. She's sure
PA will deny it. You know, it seems to me that the simplest solution
is to just throw a party for the girls in Baker House. Without the boys, they don't need PA's permission - Merry's will do. It won't kill them to not have boys there. Toby
wasn't too excited about inviting Neal anyway, so I don't think she'd
mind. What she definitely WOULD mind is not being able to have the party at all.
Jane decides to catch PA first thing in
the morning when she leaves her house to head to her office. As soon
as Jane steps foot outside, though, she realizes that they've had an
ice storm overnight and the entire campus is covered with a dangerous
sheet of ice. She heads back inside in time to intercept Toby who is
headed to Randy's ranch for an early morning ride. They call the
head of maintenance and find out he's sick with a virus. He's been attempting to call PA but apparently her phone was taken out by the storm. He tells
them that all the dorms have barrels of salt/sand for times like this
and Jane and Toby get to work. They work their way around the dorms
and then head down to PA's house. They are able to stop her before
she falls down her steps and they make her path safe as well. She invites them inside for hot tea and
croissants when they are done.
PA is thankful that they made the
campus safe for her and for the other students. She mentions that
Merry has told her about the party and she's just been waiting for
one of them to come ask her. A party like this has never been
allowed on campus before, but PA is so grateful to them that she grants permission.
We head-hop into Gigi's head now. She
and Yolanda are out by the pond talking about her party. She
couldn't reach her parents so she had to settle for the back room of
Pizza Pete's instead of something more fancy. She's still furious
that the 407 and 409 crowd have refused to come. She sees Toby and
Dee approaching the pond with ice skates and ducks behind a tree to
eavesdrop.
Toby is complaining that Andy wouldn't
stop working on her term paper for half an hour to teach her and Dee
to skate. Dee tries to point out that the paper is important but
Toby is uncharacteristically bitter and judgmental about the amount
of time Andy is putting into it. She gripes to Dee that she was
expecting Andy to work on her party and Dee points out that Toby's
being a little self-important. Toby just puffs up her chest at this
and says it's pretty special having a party thrown in your honor.
She says that Jane is a true friend because she's focused on Toby
while Andy is a crap friend because she's focused on herself.
Oh, ghostie, WHAT are you doing to
Toby? You're totally assassinating her character. This character is nothing like the girl we've all come to know
and love. I have a big pouty face going right now in case you're
interested.
Toby and Dee hit the ice – literally
and figuratively. They are flat on their backs laughing their
heads off when Gigi reveals herself. I honestly don't know what happened to Yolanda. She seems to have gone #poof. Dee is worried after Gigi walks
off. She knows Gigi overheard Toby talking smack on Andy and knows
Gigi won't hesitate to use it for her advantage. Toby isn't
concerned, however. She doesn't think she said anything wrong.
This is tragic. Toby has NEVER been
this person.
#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin
Toby goes back to the room and acts
like a harpy towards Andy. She resentfully tells Andy that it's all
her fault that they fell so much and she can't believe Andy is
choosing her paper over Toby. Jane is horrified at this attitude
from Toby (#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin) and tells
her that schoolwork is always a priority. Toby sniffs that
friendship should be a priority too.
This is killing me. I can't believe
what this ghostie is doing to Toby.
They talk about the party for a minute
and Jane mentions that they still need to invite their dates. Andy
says she'll ask Matt but she wishes she could ask Steve instead. She
declares she's ready for a short break and she's going to use it to
call Matt from downstairs and invite him to the party. As soon as
she leaves, Toby starts bitching about how Andy can call Matt but she
can't spare a minute to teach her and Dee how to ice skate. Jane
shuts it down and tells Toby that she's being an awful person and
she's going to ruin her friendship with Andy if she's not careful.
Toby isn't repentant or remorseful.
#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin
Toby is terrified to call Neal and
invite him to the party, so when Randy calls out of the blue to check
on her since he hasn't seen her in awhile, she invites him instead.
Randy is very kind and very gentle but he reminds Toby that he's too
old for her and coming to this party would be sending the wrong
message. She tries to convince him by saying he's the only one she
knows that understands horses and ranching but he holds his ground.
She laughs it off but her feelings are hurt and she's back to square
one on the date thing.
To further her embarrassment, Gigi
overhears the entire thing and rubs it in that Toby got turned down
for a date. Toby is furious and tells Gigi to go back to her own
dorm and then stomps upstairs. She runs into Maggie along the way
and they return to 407 to talk about Gigi and her “evil” party.
Andy is trying to work and she asks them all to keep it down. She
tells them she's bitten off more than she can chew with this paper
and she's having major anxiety about it. Jane and Maggie pep talk
her but all Toby can do is selfishly whine that she hopes Andy won't
end up missing her party because of a dumb paper.
#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin
Jane hustles Toby out of the room to
give her a stern talking to. She lectures Toby in the bathroom until
Toby finally promises to stop being such a bitch. They are about to
leave when Laura Lee walks in with a hairbrush and some mousse.
Maggie gets all excited and offers to do Laura Lee's hair for her but
LL is pretty terrified at the idea. She tells them she wasn't really
planning to do anything with the mousse and the hairbrush, she just
randomly left the room with them. Sheesh, LL, you could do better
than THAT.
Jane demands to know why LL is so
afraid of people and LL replies that she isn't. She just likes to be
alone. Which I can relate to. #IntrovertsUnite! Maggie asks why
she came to Canby if she likes to be alone so much. Because I guess
going to boarding school is something only extroverts do?? LL says
she didn't want to come but she's a legacy and had no choice. Jane
insists that it's a Canby tradition to make friends and be social and
LL flees from the room, begging them to just leave her alone. Poor
LL.
Jane declares that they can't do
anything about LL at the moment but they CAN help Toby call Neal.
They escort Toby downstairs and Jane dials Neal's dorm number for
Toby. When someone answers, Toby nervously asks for “Nealonius”
which is so hilariously adorable that I ALMOST forgive her for being
so awful. Neal is amused and guesses right away that it's Toby. She
fumbles around a bit and then manages to ask him to the party. He
tries really hard to put her at ease and says he'd love to come. She
asks if he wants to talk to Jane because that's not awkward and he
gently tells Toby that she's the only one he wants to talk to. I
didn't like Neal in the first book – especially when he got his
MOTHER to call Jane about the breakup – but he comes across as
pretty damn wonderful here.
Yolanda hears the whole thing somehow
and reports back to Gigi. Gigi knows Neal from rooming with Jane the
previous year. She pulls out some paper and tells Yolanda that she's
going to write Neal a VERY INTERSTING LETTER that will put a hitch in
Toby's giddy-up.
I guess she memorized Neal's address from the year before?? Who does that? It's not like she ever used it so why does she remember it? So weird, Gigi.
Toby and Jane go to Maggie's room so
they won't disturb Andy. Jane asks if Maggie and Dee have dates to
the party. Maggie has invited an Oakley Prep boy named Billy
and Dee has asked a Greenleaf High boy named Ed. Dee is
sketching on the wall by her bed the entire time they're talking and
Toby finally asks her what she's doing. Dee, who is perpetually
homesick for California, says she's going to paint a palm tree. This
dorm has very liberal rules about the girls painting the walls. I
lived in a dorm in college and we weren't even allowed to put thumb
tacks in the walls to hang up posters.
We spend the next chapter in Andy's
head. She's back in the library to do more research and she runs
into LL who is trying to read peacefully. Andy can't let that
happen, though, so she sits right beside LL and keeps talking about
her paper until LL finally interjects to give Andy some advice. She
says that Andy's topic is too broad and needs narrowed down. She
suggests that Andy focus on black women in history and Andy is super
grateful.
We skip ahead to the weekend. Jane
heads to the Greenleaf Diner to talk to Cary. He's in a bad mood
because the manager made him pull his hair back and take out his
earring. Jane tells him she agrees with the manager which just
wounds Cary's feelings. Jane is really a bitch to him. I can't
figure out why he even likes her.
Team Cary!
Jane orders a coffee and tells Cary
that she wants to propose a “uniform” of sorts for the members of
Ambulance to wear at the party. Cary tells her that they're a rock
band and they'll dress as one. She smiles and whispers to him what
she wants them to wear. He emphatically says no but she's not
concerned because she knows she can convince him to do whatever she
wants.
That evening, the girls of 407 hide
outside of Gigi's dorm so they can see who Gigi dressed as for her
party. To no one's actual surprise, Gigi dressed as Toby but kind of
an awful version. Yolanda is dressed as the school cook. The two of
them go to Pizza Pete's while the girls from 407 return to Baker
House to concoct some kind of convoluted plan.
At Pizza Pete's, the back room is
empty. Gigi and Yolanda are the only ones who have showed up. Gigi
is pacing around, upset, when five strange creatures come in the
door. She can't figure out who they're supposed to be and she
demands that they identify themselves. Two of them are pizza (yellow
paper with red circles attached), two of them are dressed as Gigi's
party (plates and napkins attached to a sheet) and one of them is a
sock pile (socks attached to a sheet).
Seriously.
Are we supposed to think this is
clever?
They lecture Gigi about being cruel to
Toby and the cook and for throwing an awful party and then they march
out.
That was just stupid.
On Monday, Toby is bitching about
winter again when a huge bouquet of daffodils, tulips and daisies is
delivered to her with a note from Neal. It's an incredibly
thoughtful thing of him to do. He knows she's got the winter blues
so he's sent her some spring. I can be Team Neal too, right?
Along with the flowers comes a care
package from Andy's parents. They take it upstairs where Andy
triumphantly announces that she's finished the first draft of the
paper. They decide to open the care package in celebration of her
achievement. The top is filled with health foods but the bottom has
gooey, delicious tiny cakes. Toby grabs one and heads down to LL's
room. She's surprised to find that LL has been napping. She invites
LL to 407 to raid the care package but LL declines. Toby hands one
of the cakes to LL and gives her a speech about everyone needing
friends and makes a standing offer of friendship to LL before
leaving.
That's better.
#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin
That evening Toby impulsively decides to call Neal
to thank him for the flowers. Jane goes along too because she wants
to tell him what to wear for the party. Toby calls and finds Neal
furious. He's gotten a letter from “Andy” saying that Toby never
wanted him to come to the party at all. That she wanted Randy and
thinks Neal is a preppy stuffed shirt. He hangs up on her as she
sobs.
The ghostie tells us that Gigi and
Yolanda are hiding behind chairs in the lounge, enjoying Toby's
misery.
Seriously?
HOW THE HELL would Gigi and Yolanda
have known to be there? HOW THE HELL could they have known she'd use
the phone on that particular evening at that particular time? She
hadn't planned to do it. It was spontaneous and impulsive. There's
no fucking reason at all for the two of them to be there. This
ghostie is awful.
Jane dials Neal back and yells at him a
bit until he sees reason and apologizes to Toby. As Toby is talking
to him, Jane spots LL thumbing through the “H” encyclopedia
nearby. She walks over and LL tells her that she heard some giggling
behind the chairs earlier. They look and no one's there but LL is
sure of what she heard. Jane tells her the whole, long story and LL
is horrified at how evil Gigi is. She tells Jane that she doesn't
think she can handle being at boarding school when everything is so
dramatic. Jane protests that things are fine when you have friends
but LL takes off to her room. As an afterthought, Jane picks up the
encyclopedia. She tells us that LL was either looking up Health
Insurance, Hearing Aids or Hearts. She concludes it's Hearing Aids
and thinks that's why LL is having trouble making friends.
Jane, don't be so dumb. It's clearly
HEARTS. LL always looks pale. She sleeps during the day. She's worried dorm
life is too dramatic for her to handle. Clearly she has a heart
issue.
We've moved onto a new day but I have
no idea how much time has passed. Andy is in Greenleaf buying
“typing supplies” for her paper. She's doing a little window
shopping when she sees LL and Michael-the-school-psychologist
getting out of a taxi just ahead. They disappear into a professional
building that hosts doctors, dentists, lawyers and a travel agent.
Andy is curious but unwilling to pry into LL's private life, so she
turns to leave and runs right into Yolanda. Yolanda says she was
following LL and Michael on Gigi's orders. Gigi has noticed how much
time the 407 girls are spending with LL and she wants to know why.
Yolanda says they've been investigating LL to see why she's so
interesting to the 407 girls and all they've come up with is that LL
is excused from taking gym class. Andy tells her to mind her own
business and walks away.
The next chapter takes us to Wednesday.
Andy is typing her final draft and feeling damn proud of herself.
They want to celebrate, so Toby leaves to go into Greenleaf and buy
some snacks. As soon as she's gone, the room phone rings and a
strange voice informs Jane that there's an emergency dorm meeting in
Merry's room and they need to come immediately. Andy is annoyed but
the girls head out. They stop in 409 along the way to get Maggie and
Dee and find out that their phone didn't ring. Nor do they see any
other 4th floor residents heading up to Merry's room.
Which really should have been a fucking clue, but they're idiots and
head up there anyway.
Gee, I wonder if someone wanted them
out of their room so she could exact a little revenge??????
Sure enough, when they get back to 409,
Dee's palm tree has been completely ruined. She's in tears looking
at it. They go into 407 and find Andy's term paper missing. Where
it used to be is a pair of red mittens. The four of them begin
searching the room, hoping that Gigi merely hid the term paper and
didn't really take it. Toby comes back with a sack of groceries
right in the middle of all the chaos. She's upset to hear what
happened and says that someone stole her red mittens as well. Andy
is instantly suspicious because Toby's red mittens are right where
her term paper should be AND Toby was pissed about her term paper all
book. Dee provides another nail in the coffin when she finds page 5 of the research paper in Toby's dresser.
Well, at least we know why the ghostie
completely destroyed Toby's character in this book. She wanted to
set Toby up as a suspect which is just so ridiculous. Toby is the
least likely person in that entire school to steal that paper. If
ghostie had read any of the other books, she'd know that. She could have
used ANY other girl in that dorm to be her suspect and it would have
been more likely than Toby. Even MERRY would have been more likely
than Toby.
#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin
Reason prevails almost immediately
which means ghostie slaughtered Toby's character in order to create
FOUR PARAGRAPHS of suspicion. That's just mean. The five of them
head to LL's room to formulate a plan.
That evening, the entire cafeteria is
buzzing about Toby and Andy not speaking to each other. Andy has
accused Toby of stealing her term paper and Toby has accused Andy of
breaking up her and Neal. Gigi is feeling mighty pleased with
herself. Our Scooby Gang declares Plan A a success.
Plan B consists of Jane making Gigi
nervous during creative writing class. She begins a class discussion
about the missing term paper and Gigi ends up accidentally
incriminating herself by saying if Andy's dumb enough to leave her
history paper on the desk where anyone can take it, then she deserves
what she gets. Jane hadn't mentioned the paper was a history paper
or that it was on the desk and Gigi gets rattled when she realizes
what she's done.
Plan C involves gym class. The entire
sophomore class has it at the same time which seems....wrong. How
can they fit that many students in one class? Whatever. Anyway,
this must be where LL is involved since she doesn't have to take gym.
Gigi skips class which is according to plan I guess. Gigi goes back
to her room to retrieve her locker key. Every girl at Canby is
assigned a locker in the basement of the admin building where they
can store extra things that they don't want in their room. She
leaves her door open while getting the key and is observed by LL. LL
confronts, Gigi denies and takes a few verbal jabs at LL which don't
seem to affect LL at all. Gigi stomps away.
LL meets Jane and tells her about the
locker key. They come to the conclusion that Andy's paper is in the
locker and Gigi is going to try to move it soon. Jane tells LL that
Andy is following Gigi now and that they'll all take turns following
Gigi until the paper is recovered. They are standing outside talking
about this when LL recognizes a car coming in the drive. Her parents
are here coming to check on her again and she knows they'll be
disappointed to find that she still hasn't made friends. Jane
volunteers to help her deal with her mom and dad.
Meanwhile, Andy is trailing Gigi who is
just pacing around campus in an agitated fashion. Gigi knows that LL
knows about the locker and she's smart enough to know that LL has
probably alerted the 407 gang. So she can't go right to the locker
to get the term paper. At this point, if the girls were smart,
they'd alert PA and have the locker searched before Gigi can get
there. However, they think they're the Scooby Gang so they're going
to handle it themselves.
Merry spots Andy following Gigi and
begins to follow Andy. She knows Andy's paper was stolen and she
knows Gigi has been hanging around Baker House a lot lately. She
puts two and two together and hangs back to see what happens.
Because that's what an adult would do
in this situation. {rolls eyes} Sigh.
Back to Jane and LL. It turns out LL's
mother knew two of Jane's aunts. They went to Canby together and
were part of a secret society called the Renegade Brigade. It's not
so secret if you go around telling people about it, LL's mom. They
chat a bit and then LL says she has to get to biology. Jane leaves
too, needing to take Andy's place following Gigi so Andy can get to
her next class.
Of course, what these girls never
fucking considered is that Canby is a big campus and cell phones
aren't a thing yet, so Jane has no idea where Andy and Gigi might be.
Luckily for her, Merry knows exactly where they are and she arrives
to point Jane in the right direction. Deus ex Housemother. Jane
switches with Andy and the game is afoot again.
Gigi seems to reach a decision and
she's on the move toward her locker finally with Jane hot on her
tail. Gigi goes to her locker and retrieves the folder and then
Jane jumps out of the shadows to tell her the jig is up. Gigi is
unimpressed. She threatens to start ripping up the term paper and
begins doing so ever so slowly. Jane threatens to go to PA and Gigi
says it will be her word against Jane's because Jane has no proof.
LL emerges out of nowhere in a very “not so fast” moment. Gigi
still isn't too worried.
Then things get EXTREMELY stupid.
The rest of the Scooby Gang tromps down
the stairs. Dee threatens to PAINT Gigi like it's some big horrible
thing. Toby is carrying a fucking lasso and threatens to hog tie
Gigi. Maggie, ever the sensible one despite being
Dana-the-life-ruiner's sister, has brought a camera and she begins
taking pictures. Because Maggie knows that obtaining proof is 100%
better than threatening to paint or lasso someone.
Team Maggie!
Andy steps forward to grab her paper
which is complete and barely damaged. The Scooby Gang declares
victory and heads upstairs. Outside, they all link arms and begin
walking back across campus like some kind of bizarre centipede or
something. Naturally they run into LL's parents who are beside
themselves with joy over their daughter finally having friends. Gigi
comes up and viciously proclaims that LL has no friends because she's
a “sicko” and LL dramatically reveals that she has a very bad
heart.
Called that one.
Gigi stomps off and LL's parents make a
revelation of their own. LL was born with a congenital heart defect
but she's had several surgeries and is now 100% cured. The problem
is that LL doesn't believe she's cured and is afraid to live her
life. The girls all promise to make LL join in on things now and her
parents are so grateful that they invite everyone out for dinner.
Well, Plots B (the paper) and C (LL)
have wrapped up nicely. Back to Plot A (the party).
So the secret decorations are packing
peanuts. Jane's covered the floor in packing peanuts to simulate
sand. This horrifies me. Those things make shivery squeaky noises
when stepped on and they create so much static that they cling to
everything. They would not be good floor cover at all. Everyone is
dressed in some kind of beach wear and Ambulance is playing reggae
music.
It's as bad as I imagined.
The next night, Gigi walks into the
dining hall for dinner. No one from Baker House is there at first.
Then they all come marching in wearing black wigs and too much
make-up so they look like Gigi. They're holding signs saying
“Costume Parade: Come Dressed as Someone You'd Like to Ship Off to
a Desert Island with a One-Way Ticket”. Gigi is humilated.
How is this any less evil and tacky
than Gigi's party? It's not. It's every bit as evil and tacky and
I'm ashamed of all of them. And more ashamed of the ghostie. This
isn't funny or cute or even justified really. This is an entire dorm of
people sinking to the level of a bully and it's disgusting. They're
all pretty proud of themselves and smugly congratulate each other on
getting even with Gigi. See, they said it right there. They're even
with her – as in level. They're on her level and they shouldn't be
proud of that at all.
The book ends with them all painting a
rainforest on 409's walls. Which makes perfect sense. There's a lot
of rainforests in California, y'all.
The Least Annoying Person in Greenleaf
Award: I think I'll give this one to Jane and I'm just as shocked as
you are. She was pretty good this book. She tried to straighten
Toby out and she tried to draw LL out (even if she WAS a tad too
pushy). She didn't cheat on Cary for once and she threw Dee and Toby
a party they loved.
The Bitch of Baker House Award: I
can't believe I'm doing this, y'all. It's Toby. She was awful and
self-centered and selfish and awful a few more times. This author
really ruined her.
#SaveToby #GhostieAssassin
Coming Up Next: The staff of Canby Hall
goes on strike and the girls of 407 have to save the school AND the
Almost Summer Carnival. Oh, noes.
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